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The Infinite Story


hoo

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(Changed expanding to infinite, FYI.)

What you need to do:
Add to a part of the story. Whatever you like, as long as you like. (Just not too long.)

Ex.
1. Johnny Kayson had to go buy some eggs at the store, but something horrible happened. He...

2. Was hit by a truck. He went to the hospital. He was drowsy when he woke up. He looked to the right, only to find...

Get it?
Alright, first line.

Everything was fine in the 'hood, until one day something horrible happened. There was a...

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guy with a big dick. He liked hitting people with his dick, but the drug dealer was tired of his shit, so he...

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Hired a ghost to smother him with a pillow. So she did. But the corpse got too smelly. So she...

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(Anyone ever see the one-word-story game from Whose Line is It Anyway?)

 

Stuffed it into a suitcase and flagged down a passing cab.  The driver, too tired to even care that he had just been flagged down by a ghost that was putting a suitcase in the trunk, gunned it for the airport as soon as the trunklid was shut.  Upon arriving at the destination...

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He needed to use the bathroom. So, when he left, someone found his cab and looted it, taking the suitcase. They traded it for some valuables at the thrift market. Years past until the manager's son decided to take the suitcase to...

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...the docks nearby.  Deciding to use it as a boat, he hopped aboard the laden suitcase and set his course for Zimbabwe.  Little did he know that heavy suitcases aren't the most seaworthy vessels out there.  Therefore...

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He killed a shark and used it as a sail. It somehow worked great. He finally came across an abandoned chair on an island in the middle of the ocean. He looked at it and decided to...

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...sit in the comfortable red armchair, lounging within its velour cloth.  Reaching around to find the reclining mechanism, something odd returned his grasp.  It was...

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Catapult the manager's son far into the sky, making him crash land into a newly-formed crater in the middle of a parking lot somewhere in Los Angeles.  Upon picking himself up and dusting himself off, the fellow thanked the suitcase for cushioning his gratuitous impact.  Soon another, more pressing matter, came to his attention!  It was...

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MechaHitler, trying to resurrect the 3rd Reich. He stomped Zoidberg, leaving a crater of tender crabmeat. He then turned to find...

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President Obama, who was invincible do to his infinite money. Obama pulled something out of his pocket. It was...

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A spear made of pure happiness. Obama threw it at MechaHItler, who proceeded to...

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...grabbed the missiles out of the sky, bypassed congress, and issued an executive order to kick some serious ass.  The human-cyborg nutjob lay in pieces with Obama triumphantly standing above it.  Little did he know, he true test was beginning for some dude in rural Oklahoma. 

 

Frankie Pallaspudo, a recently employed twenty-something, was beginning his new career as a professional potato tamer.  Things were looking up for Frankie, until that fateful morning, when...

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A drunken Italian driver named Giuseppe Giusuppe ran over him, paralyzing Mr. Pallaspudo from the waist down. Mr. Pallaspudo thought his life was no longer worth living, until...

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(I just sat here laughing like a complete dumbass over the name 'Giuseppe Giesuppe' for a good minute or so.  Thanks for that.)

 

...he found an opening in the local paper.  It read wheelchair stuntperson wanted to star in feature film!  The excitement in Pallaspudo's heart could scarcely be quelled as he wheeled himself through the streets at a breakneck pace.  He hadn't much else to lose, or so he thought, and this allowed him to rationalize throwing caution to the wind.  As he rolled into the movie lot, something wasn't quite right.  Frankie couldn't put his finger on it, but surely something was off.  Then he realized what had been troubling him about this place.  It...

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Was owned by none other than Giuseppe Giusuppe, the Italian drunk that paralyzed him! Frankie decided to act, and rolled into Giuseppe's office. He threatened to sue Giusuppe for all he had, but Giusuppe offered Frankie an $80,000 a year salary to stay as a wheelchair stuntman. In need of cash to pay for his hospital bills, Frankie reluctantly accepted Giusuppe's offer. He soon began to work on an action movie known as...

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(That was a plot twist if I ever heard one!)

 

...Megan Fox and Explosions 3, directed by Michael Bay himself!  Pallaspudo was anticipating some hefty preparations and work, until he found out that the entire movie would be filmed in front of a green screen.  In fact, his only job was to wheel his chair back and forth for twelve hours a day, after which post-production editors would splice in stock footage of explosions and skimpy clothing to keep their audience entertained.  Frankie had become despondent; the money was good, too good, and yet he could take no pride in the work he was putting out.  He turned to a life of drinking his troubles away; drinking skim milk, of course.  His apartment was filled with the empty cartons and he didn't care enough to keep them from piling up.  TLC was beginning to show interest in featuring him on a reality show, but the small amount of dignity he had left would have to be given up for that.  It seemed hopeless, or at least it did until...

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A mysterious Hungarian man named Laszlo approached Frankie with an interesting offer: join his League of Outstanding Super Earth Rebel Sidewinders to fight injustice and tyranny. Frankie jumped on the opportunity. He enthusiastically signed on and became the 51st member of the LOSERS. However, unbeknownst to Frankie, the group commonly used terrorist tactics and unlawful acts to bring criminals and the scum of the world to justice, with no regard for collateral damage. Frankie's first job was to...

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...clean the toilets in the LOSERS' breakroom's bathroom.  This was especially inconsiderate when noting the fact that the bathroom entrance was too narrow to fit a wheelchair into.  Nevertheless, Pallaspudo did the best that he could, attaching mop-sticks together with duct tape so that he'd be able to reach far and wide.  One day he hoped that he could return to his former life of potato taming, but it seemed like just a distant memory at that time.  As he was leaving work one late night, he heard a cry for help!  A shrill scream of an individual broke the silence of the night; someone shouting about how their 225-pound drum of new and improved oxy-clean was stolen.

 

It did not take long for Frankie to realize just where that tub had gotten to.  A man in a trenchcoat and sunglasses was on top of the large barrel, rolling it down a hill and knocking everyone in his path out of his way!  Pallaspudo had just the plan to stop him; he had prepared for something like this almost as much as he had prepared for potato taming.  He...

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built a power suit using parts from MechaHitler. This time, it's on. He grabbed the barrel with his powerful claws and tore the man out. He then threw the man high in the sky, where he was sucked in a plane engine. Seeing the plane smoke and begin its descent, Frank activated his thrusters. Today, he shall be a hero. He was halfway to the doomed plane when...

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It exploded, killing everybody. The citizens of the city saw the MechaHitler suit and assumed that he was evil. So, they all panicked and started rioting. The MechaHitler suit exploded when someone...

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Yelled "Jewish Physics!" As MechaHitler could not survive under the rules of Jewish Physics, the suit exploded, nearly killing Frankie. During his several month-long recovery in a hospital, Frankie was booted out of the LOSERS. A complete and utter failure, Frankie decided to change his name and become a news anchor. His name was Totally Up For It, and he was ready to storm the journalism world. He soon got a position as anchor in a news studio in Kansas City, Missouri. Totally was becoming a well-respected and loved anchor, whose dark past remained unknown to the denizens of Kansas City. However, that would all change when...

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He accidentally stabbed the president of the United States with a butter knife. He was shot on site, and as he lay dying in a pool of his own blood, his last words were...

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