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A huge realization.



For a while whenever I am alone I have this depressing feeling inside me while I am thinking about stuff. And sometimes when I am in the middle of doing something, I stop. Suddenly I don't want to continue on whatever I was doing and I just starting thinking with that feeling inside and sometimes it just comes out of nowhere when I see things come to an end that I was never apart of until too late. But then, a memory flashes on me that I've seen before and it was the show I used to watch as a kid and it may have affected me and possibly my behaviors or so.


What I realized that I was feeling Blue

Never have I felt like this for a while until now since for a while I have tried to combat it with music that sorta fits that mood, probably make it feel sympathetic. I'm not sure if this has been a blessing or a curse.

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I get that sort of feeling when I look up at a clear night sky. One minute I'm in awe at our wonderous vast universe, the next I realize how small and scaled to its size and importance I matter little in its overall grand scheme. I am dust under a gods finger nail. Most Lovecraftian indeed.

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