I began to realize something once I had reached the big 3-0. And this has been getting broader ever since. There was something that actually happened to me. Mentally I mean. And I have already explained this to my former friend, Fanfictiondreamer. And while E3 was coming to a close, I thought I would get this out of the way to let everyone else know of my...sudden mindset.
They say that 30 years is usually debated as the middle ages, but I don't believe it, as I only count 50 years to be as such since people sometimes live to be 100. However...I do believe that the age of 30 is precisely when the body/mind stops developing and growing. I've heard that by the time people reach that ripe age, their biological clock is ticking, and often times that's when their bodies start their downward spiral, like men losing more energy, muscle, and momentum. Plus women with their vitality and fertility, even giving birth to twins...
But, what happened to me was unexpected and...odd. At the very start of my big 3-0, my mind almost immediately started to drift away, away to the distant past, as early as it can remember. Like as if it was trying to reconnect/relive some things that were long forgotten. I started to have these kinds of yearnings, like revisiting these older places, or re-contacting the people that drifted away from my life... Alas, I hardly ever had the chance, and I keep finding it literally impossible to find those I had lost; trust me, a simple Bing search or looking on social networks don't solve the problem. How can we tell who's real or not, right? Or where to look? Then, while my mind was wallowing in the past, something else unexpected happened...
I forgot to mention I had some kind of existential crisis; I was worried how I would be looked upon when I leave this world behind, even my projects. So...that was how/when I got so obsessed with them, cause I really wanted to pull out all the stops and quit fucking around. I seemed to have that attitude ever since; I wish Fanfictiondreamer would stop being so flighty and put her feet firmer on the ground like I did.
I became more and more nostalgic as that year rolled on, and I found myself that opening up to newer things just became more and more difficult; that the HOTTEST NEW! trends, artists, games, and shows seem meaningless. The only exception was movies, depending on how good they are. That was when I noticed I was having this nostalgia filter, that the things that made my life worthwhile as a younger adult (around my 20s) or teens seemed where I felt the most at home; I started to officially wear these nostalgia goggles, and I've had them on ever since.
That was why all those older things made me whole again, that I'd always find them better than moving forward. Even though I'm living in the present, my mind always seems to appreciate and relive the past more often than ever. I began to feel these changes during my 30th year. And since YOU are or may be turning 30, can that be the same for you? Would you eventually feel that your mind literally stops developing and appreciates your nostalgia more, or, as much as the present trends are gonna suck, would you continue to go forward in the stream of time? Has it happened in an earlier year? Let me know what has happened to you; you may not feel it now, but I'm sure you'll be wearing these same goggles eventually too.
And for more info on what the heck I'm talking about, look up Nostalgia Filter via TV Tropes.
"The flow of time is always cruel... Its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it... A thing that doesn't change with time is a memory of younger days..." - Sheik, Ocarina of Time