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Renardfrost

Renard's Journal: The Mind of a Failtastic fox

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Renardfrost

Hmm.. So this is supposed to be like.. a public journal, right? I've never really used something like this before, but I figured that i may as well use it as long as i have the option...

Anyway, I'll just keep any thoughts that strike me here, where I can't lose them. I'll probably try to keep a dream diary too... Heh, it's kinda like mapping out my own mind, especially when I consider the fact that I write in the same manner that I speak.

Hm... should probably describe myself as a title post. Start with what you know, right?

Well, I'm 19, bi, a furry (obvious), have an IQ in the 120-140 range (at last testing.. i'd really like to take it again to see if it changes), and am usually bored out of my skull in my day-to-day existence as a student. But it's my last year, so that's good. I have a relatively stable life, and i am thankful for that.. i know that it could be worse... much worse.

And.. that's it. good thing too, cause my next class is about to start and I'm beginning to ramble if i haven't already.

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The Shaper

It's possible to end a sentence with only one ellipse by the way :3

In any case journals are pretty simple, just post whatever happened to you today that you think is worth discussing.

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Zzz

Zzz

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Fana McCloud

have an IQ in the 120-140 range (at last testing.. i'd really like to take it again to see if it changes), and am usually bored out of my skull in my day-to-day existence as a student.

Never been tested myself. I dunno if I want to but at the same time I'm curious. There are times I feel like everyone around me are idiots but there are times when I have really big moments of stupid, so I dunno if I have a high IQ or not. If I found out it was low that might add to my self loathing, so perhaps ignorance is bliss. :P

I personally didn't start getting bored till I transferred away from a private school I used to go to - they made stuff interesting but the public schools were like freaking prisons that the parents tossed their kids into so that they didn't have to deal with 'em while they worked. XD

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"User"

Never been tested myself. I dunno if I want to but at the same time I'm curious. There are times I feel like everyone around me are idiots but there are times when I have really big moments of stupid, so I dunno if I have a high IQ or not. If I found out it was low that might add to my self loathing, so perhaps ignorance is bliss. :-P

IQ tests are overrated. 100 is supposed to be average yet I've seen people claim to be much higher up due to "testing" and they were as dumb as a box of rocks. I had an old co-worker who was probably the smartest person I've ever known confront people who got into Mensa and pretty much showed them that they don't belong in Mensa (which, btw, is a completely overrated group).

Even though I've been tempted to take some of these tests the same co-worker asked me "Why do you need tests and test results to prove you're smart?" You don't need tests to show other people you're intelligent and I take all IQ test results with a grain of salt until I've had at least several interactions with the individual. A much better way to assure yourself you're intelligent is feedback from other people IMO.

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Renardfrost

Dream Diary- Entry one

That was a bit of a doozy. Well... the parts that I can remember, anyway. I was in this massive school, It was like it's own small city. Humans, Beastkin ( What i call anthros) and god knows what else made up it's population. I'm not sure what they taught, but it seemed to be a religious academy considering the odd devotion all the other, older students had to their subjects.

All I felt about the place is that I wanted to leave, and fast. When we were walking along a service road that looked oddly like the bike trail five blocks from my house, i turned around and ran the other way, No one stopped me, though I heard a polite request for me to turn around, which I declined if not ignored completely. I couldn't help but voice my mental thought of " If Going along the road leads to faith, what happens if I go backward?"

the answer was i came to a simple, white brick building with some other students leaning against it. as i approached, some kid with blond hair reached into a seam between the bricks and pulled down a perfect rectangle, as if that part of the wall was meant to slide down. Taking the hint, I went through, and my memory kinda lapses there.

The last thing i remember is running through a game of volleyball played with a ball painted to look like an eyeball. the audience looked repulsed for some reason. I can't imagine why...

In the waking world however, things are looking up, all my grades are up, and it looks like their holding. At this rate, i'll have that diploma in no time!

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Renardfrost

Entry Two-

No dreams Really worthy of note tonight, aside from apparently being a cameraman for a really bad horror movie.

Oddly enough i was gripped by a random wave of fear and paranoia for no good reason before turning in, costing me an hour or two of sleep.

I hope my schoolwork doesn't suffer for it.

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Renardfrost

Mmn... No dreams tonight.. but i guess that's a good thing sometimes, cause i woke up really rested.

But my excitement for my boyfriend coming over for a week tomorrow is at the forefront of my mind. not to mention i checked my transcript at the end of this school quarter. My grades are the highest they've been in a long time. Things are looking up.

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Renardfrost

The week was pretty stressful actually. None of the "dates" i tried to line up really went all that well. with a few ending in flat out disaster... He said he didn't mind, but still i wanted to try and impress him... sigh.

the really weird part were my dreams though, almost every night i woke up from some old nightmares i havent had in a very long time... the last time i remember having one of them dates back like... three maybe four years ago... It really concerns me... i wonder what it means.

my dreams have been making less and less sense.. it's actually worrying me.. maybe they'll settle down now that things are back to normal...

my grade in algebra is horrible as well... ugh, some way to start a new quarter, huh?

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Renardfrost

So after spending the last parts of yesterday fuming about a change of placement at school, and verbal mistreatment at the hands of a friend, i began to think.. (between entertaining fantasies of maiming him of course.)

 

Am I truly only using my "friends" for personal gain like so many I've trusted before them?

 

Have I really allowed some counterfeit reality I sometimes slip into now and again overtake me? Am I trying too hard to live the stories I write?

 

Kinda wish I knew, myself... which makes the following a little more interesting... To me at least.

 

 

Dream Diary- Entry 3

 

Most of the first part was merely hurried, scrambled information.. that much was figured because i had been through more than my usual dose of bullcrap that day. Then we got into the dream. Two groups of friends (mine and someone else's) were sent to investigate a potential plot to overtake my sister's financial empire. (Oddly enough, she had become very rich in my dream. Who knew being in a failtastic family was such a lucrative business?) anyway, One of the other group's members has their personality do a complete 180. They, of course recognize the problem immediately and leave to take care of him.

That night, after hearing a odd noise, we get up and examine different parts of the mansion in near darkness and the outside garden. At the end of the search, I turn on the lights, stick ready only to find my nephew standing there. I ask him what the hell he was doing down there. He said he was looking at his SSN.

Now, even in my dreamspace, I had the cognizant ability to sense something was off here. A two year-old concerned about his SSN? That's weird. so after talking with him, shaking off an assailant, and fighting a friend or two and sending them packing, I figured that there was something he was actually looking at. He had been working with a swing needle when i found him. and the kid was a prodigy with clothwork. Examining the Rug on the carpeted floor, i notice the needle was still there, attached to a thread that bound the rug to the floor

I was in the middle of undoing the stitches, and my cat woke me up before i could figure out if the one clue i could have used was even here or not... and here I am, typing this.

maybe i should investigate myself, take a magnifying glass to my own actions and figure out what exactly what I'm doing wrong... If I'm doing anything wrong... I do not wish to lose my friends... to live alone is worse than death.

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