Geo Stelar Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 Don't argue with an idiot. He will eventually drag you down to his level, then beat you with experience 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 A drunk Adolf Hitler walks into a bar and says, "Give me a drink!" and so the bartender answers, "What do you want? We have Budweiser, Heineken and Bass." "How dare you!" says Hitler. "Excuse me?" "I asked for a drink, not a prisoner exchange!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Stelar Posted April 18, 2013 Author Share Posted April 18, 2013 "I'm sorry, sir", said the local librarian over the phone. "But the items you requested are still not available. The one who borrowed the book on getting organized lost it and the book about speed reading is overdue" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vy'drach Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbzaDt0IbF4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Knock Knock.... fix your doorbell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 A homeless man, a businessman, a ironman, a merman, a beastman, a frogman, a hawkman, a Jamaicaman, a protoman, spaceman, a glazed ham, a yes ma'am, a guy named Sam, a steam tram, a vanilla ban, a garbageman, a uglyman, a doorman, Darth Vader, Mr. Spock, The Doctor, Shuttle Endeavor, MIR station, the moon, Jesus, God, the holy ghost, Satan, Dante, his inferno, Pizza, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Koopa, Goomba and his best friend Dave enter a bar... Damn, I forgot the joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Stelar Posted April 21, 2013 Author Share Posted April 21, 2013 They say, "If you can't beat them, join them". I say, if you can't beat them, beat them, because they expect you to join them, and you will have the element of surprise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Hi I'm Dark Lombardi, and this picture in itself is, ah, a joke 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 How do you tell the difference between a run over dog and a run over lawyer? There are no brake marks before the lawyer What do you do when you see three lawyers buried to their necks in sand? Get more sand! If a Lawyer and and IRS agent were drowning and you could only save one... Would you go to lunch or read the newspaper? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 A drunk Kim Jong un walks into a bar screaming and crying, "WHY?!" The bartender replies, "You look upset." "My missile doesn't work." he sobs. "It falls apart, falls over and blows up too early." So the bartender says, "Does sound like you have a problem. How can I help?" and Kim then says, "No. theres nothing ANYONE can do... If my Viagra can't work, nothing will." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarFoxfan-FUR_ever Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 *Drops a fish* Oops, looks like I just dropped the Bass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Orange Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 *Drops a fish* Oops, looks like I just dropped the Bass Why even have a fish. They're dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arashikage Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Gravatational mass is identical to inertial mass. That is, the amount of inertia something has and the amount of gravity it has are effectively the same. What's interesting is that there doesn't seem to be any reason this should be true. One could imagine an extremely large object with lots of resistance to force and no gravity, or vice versa, but this is never observed..... You know what? I'm gonna skip the rest of the buildup and say it. Yo mama's fat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thu'um Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 What do you tell someone with two black eyes? Nothing, they've already been told twice XD 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Yo Mama is soooo fat... ...when you're caught in her gravitational field, you need escape velocity. And in the panic you use too much speed and BAM! the Break Away factor and sent back in time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Stelar Posted May 11, 2013 Author Share Posted May 11, 2013 Once there was a 62-year old couple who were very sweet with each other. One day, a fairy appeared before them and told them they each have a wish for her to grant. The wife went first, saying, "I want to travel the world with my husband " and *POOF!* two first-class ship tickets appeared. The husband said, "This is sweet and everything, but what I want is to have a wife 30 years younger than me". The wife and the fairy looked very disappointed, but a wish is a wish. The fairy waved her wand and *POOF!* .... the husband became 92 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Kim Kardashian and an American Idol reject are very different of course. One is a flashy attention-whore with no talent or reason to be on TV... and the other is an American Idol reject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Bill O'Reilly and a chimpanzee are very different of course. One is foul creature that goes around screaming, rolls in its filth and throws sh*t at people... ...and the other is a chimp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ori Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 What's the big difference between a Furry and your average young-adult? One is a obnoxious overdramatic, completely insane and alien creature that is slowly losing its humanity factor by falling into the worst possible customs and trends known to man, with its completely nonsense plethora of indiscernible lingo and 'cute' terms for the most vulgar things imaginable and a bit further than that, noteworthy that most are turning pervert. The other is a Furry. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 If Johnny has 50 candy bars And he eats 45, what does he have? Diabeties. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snys93 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 If Johnny has 50 candy bars And he eats 45, what does he have? Diabeties. - A Whovian, a gryffindor, a Trekkie and a Warsie walk into a bar and remarkably nothing happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fedora Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Me wife and I figured out the secret to a happy marriage. We go to a fancy schmancy restaurant two days a week. I go on Mondays and she goes on Fridays. Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a roll of film! Well, let's hope nothing develops. Doctor! Doctor! I keep thinking I'm a tepee or a wigwam! You must be two tents! What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover Vacuum? On the Harley, the dirtbag's on the outside. What's the difference between a cactus and a BMW? On a BMW, the prick's on the inside. How long have I been in comedy? Welp, when I was born the doctor told my mom, "That's a funny-looking kid" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoo Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Why did the man fall of the bike? Gravel. A boy wanted to be first in line for a video game, but he was too hung up in tying knots. Looks like he will knot be in the front of the line! How many elephants does it take to change a lightbulb? None, their hands are too big, and they don't have thumbs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ori Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 A sword, a dog, an ice wizard, a boy, a princess, and a colorful magic land. What time is it? Psychiatric sanatorium time, you're not fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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