LucasJG19

Share your Story: Krystal Encounter

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LucasJG19

Share your story: What were your reactions when seeing Krystal for the first time in a Starfox game?

 

Please do not get the wrong Idea. No personal stuff involved in this topic.

 

The first time I met Krystal was when I was thirteen years old. I was a big fan of Starfox and I still am. But in that time I was expecting to see Fox McCloud in the first part of the game Starfox Adventures. So I was a little dissappointed.

 

But after I played through the game, I became more fond of Krystal and began liking her character, her qualities of kindess was beautiful and so she is one of my most favourite Characters In the Starfox Series.

 

That's enough about me. Tell me how it felt when you first met Krystal.

 

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The Shaper

No personal stuff involved in this topic.

Except for your personal story involving the first time you personally saw Krystal.

 

That semi-pointless digression aside...

 

First time I saw here was the first Star Fox game I played. I rented StarFox Assault from a local video store as I had known it was sitting there waiting for my attention for years. First I had no idea who she was and as a human being I was naturally opposed to change, but then I figured (subconsciously) that I was a on the brink of becoming a pubescent teenager so I may as well enjoy the new hot fox girl on the team.

 

Her voice in that game didn't cease to bug me even then, though.

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Dr. Orange

Well the first time I saw Krystal ...
 
Played the game for like seven minutes. Then Fox came on. I just shut off the Cube and hit Google for a while



"Ya'see ... I just have folders filled and filled with the stuff..."

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OneUnder

Disclaimer for this thread;

 

ac1.png

 

--------------

 

I saw Krystal on the internet before I ever got the chance to play Star Fox Adventures.  INTERPRET THAT STATEMENT HOWEVER YOU WANT TO. :panic:

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Gestalt

I saw her years before I played any SF game with her aboard. Twas, in a trailer. I can only remember believing it could serve as a refreshing progression to the series. In particular, I found the snippet of the struggle due to her apparent importance intriguing, but then, I realized General Scales greets everyone with a lifting neck hold.

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Arminius H O Fiddywinks

When I played SF: Assault, during the intro. I was completely indifferent. I immediately treated her as a team member. And I did play SF: 64, so I had experience with the series prior to Adventures and Assault.

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Vulvokunvrii

When I saw here for the first time I was like, "Oh my god....love interest spotted."

Also, Arminius your picture is awesome :)

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unoservix

The train was late.

 

This was a fairly normal occurrence for the Los Angeles Metro at 5pm on a Thursday. Someone down the line probably picked a fight that held up one of the trains, or someone held the door open and knocked the whole schedule off kilter, or maybe something just simply broke down. Whatever it was, it was hardly out of the ordinary for the train to be late.

 

But the train was late on not just any day. This was one of the greater LA area's rare and spectacularly disruptive rainy, blustery days, And on a wide open platform only a scant few miles from the ocean and completely exposed to the wet and blasting wind was probably the single worst place to be. Commuters huddled behind umbrellas, only for the wind to change direction and blow a shower into their backs; tourists hid behind whatever was handy and surely wondered where the hell that made-for-TV southern California weather had gone; the occasional grimy homeless person waddled through the wind unfazed by anything so trivial as the weather.

 

My hand-rolled cigarettes grown from a non-profit anti-capitalist suburban experiment in communal living and harmonious relationships with arthropods couldn't stay lit in the cold, and that gave me a bit of a craving for the sweet taste of a lungful of freedom. My chai latte was already all gone, and as for the banh mi in my sustainable locally sourced Greenpeace knapsack, well, it would have to wait. There was no eating on the station platform, and the smell alone could kill a small horse, so surely it would attract the attention of a cop or two. All of that left me twitchy, hungry, cold, wet, and tired, which is no way to be. No way at all.

 

So it was a bit of a surprise, in my distracted state, with my chakras misaligned and my mind running on fumes, when I encountered...her.

 

The first thing I noticed, really, was the smell. At first I thought it was my incense, but I hadn't lit my burner, and I looked around for the source of the unmistakable smell of wet dog.

 

And I found it, of course. To this day it still surprises me that no one seemed to even notice the strange human-ish creature with a huge puffy blue tail and a face that looked like a cross between a cat and a fox. Or the blue fur all over her body, and the tattered bikini loincloth sort of thing that clothed quite little of her. The helpless look in her eyes drew her to me, like a moth to a flame. Here was a woman--was it a woman?--who needed someone. Who needed me.

 

"Hi," I said.

 

She blinked once and vomited, and I knew it was destiny.

 

--

 

and that was my first encounter with krystal

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OneUnder

^

9a6.jpg

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Faisul

God damn. Threadshitting in prose.

 

That is truly wonderful. A nobel prize in literature is in here somewhere.

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unoservix

they cut you a fat check for winning the nobel prize too, right? 'cuz i'm down with that.

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WolfOD64

I have no shame in admitting that I got into Star Fox when I was about 12, and by then, all the games had been out for years. I got suckered into the series pretty quickly, but my access to the internet was pretty limited back then. That meant that I was not aware of Krystal's now-infamous reputation on the Internet, and I was obliviously playing each Star Fox game in order, without the Internet's judgment hindering my experience.

 

I saw Krystal in Adventures, and well...I thought she was going to be a one-time thing. I thought this whole Dinosaur Planet trend would only last in Adventures, and Krystal would disappear along with it, like Tikal from Sonic Adventure. It also didn't help that I literally couldn't understand a word she was saying in the first cutscene in the game, and my naive, uncultured, younger mindset actually thought I had turned on the Japanese audio on by mistake or something. Hearing her shriek "A hosoalot u wuhrcot tajkhojj jawduc!" above the howling winds on her high-flying pterodactyl was one of the most side-splitting instances throughout my history as a gamer. However, I played Assault, and Krystal became my favorite Nintendo Heroine. I liked all the different qualities she posed in contrast to other female Nintendo characters, like Peach or Zelda. She had a British Accent, for one thing, which felt like a rare novelty amongst all the other Star Fox characters with their American accents. She was an active member of the Team, and a Telepath. She was soft-spoken and polite, but could be feisty when she wanted to be...and her weapon of choice was a gatling gun. Krystal had more than redeemed herself in my eyes by that point.

 

It would only be in the years following as an avid but sheltered Star Fox fan that I would become more aware of Krystal's, well..."status" on the internet. I remember it well---obliviously talking about Star Fox with my friends, and then receiving odd looks and the occasional snigger when I brought up Krystal. They wouldn't tell me why...they just pointed me in the direction of Google Images, and I learned the heinous truth with my own, scalded eyes. I couldn't fathom where any of this nightmare-inducing part of the franchise was coming from---I never found her "attractive" in any sense, any more than I found Carmelita Fox from Sly or Amy the Hedgehog appealing. It was almost sad. The character, up till that point, had proved to be a rather harmless aspect of the Star Fox Series, a romantic interest who had about as much interaction with Fox as Samus had to any emotional depth in Other M.

 

In essence, my encounter with Krystal the character had been clean, untainted, and relatively positive (she's still my favorite SF character next to...well, you know). My introduction to Krystal the Internet Icon was...almost degrading. As the lone Star Fox fan in my circle of friends, I still get playfully mocked for liking the game with "that furry character" in it. I almost wish Nintendo would give her a less degrading role in the series, and make her less of a stranger to the franchise. Then more people would take her seriously, and both the series and its fans would have a little more respect.

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LucasJG19

I have no shame in admitting that I got into Star Fox when I was about 12, and by then, all the games had been out for years. I got suckered into the series pretty quickly, but my access to the internet was pretty limited back then. That meant that I was not aware of Krystal's now-infamous reputation on the Internet, and I was obliviously playing each Star Fox game in order, without the Internet's judgment hindering my experience.

 

I saw Krystal in Adventures, and well...I thought she was going to be a one-time thing. I thought this whole Dinosaur Planet trend would only last in Adventures, and Krystal would disappear along with it, like Tikal from Sonic Adventure. It also didn't help that I literally couldn't understand a word she was saying in the first cutscene in the game, and my naive, uncultured, younger mindset actually thought I had turned on the Japanese audio on by mistake or something. Hearing her shriek "A hosoalot u wuhrcot tajkhojj jawduc!" above the howling winds on her high-flying pterodactyl was one of the most side-splitting instances throughout my history as a gamer. However, I played Assault, and Krystal became my favorite Nintendo Heroine. I liked all the different qualities she posed in contrast to other female Nintendo characters, like Peach or Zelda. She had a British Accent, for one thing, which felt like a rare novelty amongst all the other Star Fox characters with their American accents. She was an active member of the Team, and a Telepath. She was soft-spoken and polite, but could be feisty when she wanted to be...and her weapon of choice was a gatling gun. Krystal had more than redeemed herself in my eyes by that point.

 

It would only be in the years following as an avid but sheltered Star Fox fan that I would become more aware of Krystal's, well..."status" on the internet. I remember it well---obliviously talking about Star Fox with my friends, and then receiving odd looks and the occasional snigger when I brought up Krystal. They wouldn't tell me why...they just pointed me in the direction of Google Images, and I learned the heinous truth with my own, scalded eyes. I couldn't fathom where any of this nightmare-inducing part of the franchise was coming from---I never found her "attractive" in any sense, any more than I found Carmelita Fox from Sly or Amy the Hedgehog appealing. It was almost sad. The character, up till that point, had proved to be a rather harmless aspect of the Star Fox Series, a romantic interest who had about as much interaction with Fox as Samus had to any emotional depth in Other M.

 

In essence, my encounter with Krystal the character had been clean, untainted, and relatively positive (she's still my favorite SF character next to...well, you know). My introduction to Krystal the Internet Icon was...almost degrading. As the lone Star Fox fan in my circle of friends, I still get playfully mocked for liking the game with "that furry character" in it. I almost wish Nintendo would give her a less degrading role in the series, and make her less of a stranger to the franchise. Then more people would take her seriously, and both the series and its fans would have a little more respect.

Yea I get what you mean. In fact even the Fanfic that I read about krystal was always the sad type. If it was not that, then it was immoral. So I got to the point where I would write my own fanfic about her. That's what keeps me happy, ignoring the negative that people say and focusing on her good qualities within my fanfic. 

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EvolutionSFox

Played Adventures, seen her and didn't think much of her until Assault. Reason being, she was hostile towards Fox. No one has time for that. Lol

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The Shaper

Played Adventures, seen her and didn't think much of her until Assault. Reason being, she was hostile towards Fox. No one has time for that. Lol

And then she would become your SF-O avatar for the next 8 years or something.

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EvolutionSFox

Funny how things work out sometimes like that, always liked Fox more than her until Assault.

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DZComposer

Indifference.

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Icy

Let me tell you the story of the first time I really got into Star Fox. I had played through SF64 a few times in the past when I had it, but I wasn't very familiar at all with the series.

11PM, practically all lights turned off. My sister had just gotten home with Adventures and I was super excited. My siblings and I gathered around the TV...

Who's Krystal? She was that pink character in SF64, wasn't she? *Google SF history, see spoilers, correct myself, etc* Oh, okay then, so she's just a new character.

WHAT IS THIS LANGUAGE THAT IS A CROSS BETWEEN JAPANESE AND... JASFKASJFASDHA??

WHY IS THIS GALLEON SO ATMOSPHERIC??? DON'T LET IT END PLS.

It ends...... :(

Played it for 15 minutes and got a disc read error when entering the shrine. Planned to exchange it for a better disc the next day and continue, but no, that was not to be. Tried it again, and when the DRE happened, someone in the room had the bright idea to open the disc cover and close it again. Boom, we're playing again.

Krystal becomes damsel in distress, I'm like THAT'S IT??? KRYSTAL IS SO COOL, BUT NOW I HAVE TO PLAY AS FOX... Guess the game will let you swap between them, huh? That ought to be fun. (huehuehue)

After 25-30 hours of playtime on that game, got to the final boss. I then replayed it a couple of times over the years. I'm surprised each time at how well the game has aged, and how enjoyable it still is. <3

... Speaking of replaying, I haven't played through Adventures in quite a while. I've got to go do something about that! Like, right now. :shock:

Also, when I got Assault and saw her in that game, it was just, "oh, hi, Krystal, you're still here"

but when I saw Tricky in Assault I went crazy :D

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unoservix
Let me tell you the story of the first time I really got into Star Fox...

 

i am very disappointed that this story does not end with you looking at your kingdom 'cuz you're finally there to sit on your throne as the prince of bel-air

 

have you forgotten your training? have i taught you nothing

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StarFoxfan-FUR_ever

but when I saw Tricky in Assault I went crazy :D

 

When I saw Tricky, I had to ask "Why on earth are you still so mindless ya fool?"

 

Oh wait, the thread is about Krystal? Well let's see. Turn on Adventures, contemplate if I am playing the English version, roll my eyes at the floating brains, get upset that Krystal was no longer playable, hate on Krystal a bit for giving Fox an attitude after he JUST SAVED HER LIFE.... end of game cutscene >>> Laugh at how tall Krystal looks compared to Fox. Fox gets much pity...Krystal is forgiven for her outburst because she falls for him.

 

SF Assault: Krystal is an even worse pilot than Slippy apparently. Good thing you totally forgot how to use telepathy to your advantage. "I can't shake them, unbelievable!!!" Yeah....more like unbelievable how helpless you are now....Well at least you went to the ground to protect Fox on Dinosaur Planet/Sauria or something...I mean, I assume you were very good in hand-to-hand combat or something with your staff and all. Oh, and apparently your relationship went nowhere in the past year? Fox still feels uncomfortable saying he loves Krystal to her face....at least she's sweet about it...

 

SF Command: Ok, now you are just being a whinny little......uuuuggghhh....Fox confirmed to be a doormat, courtesy of Krystal (who now everyone has a reason to hate)

 

So all in all, there are many endearing traits to Krystal that never get showcased properly This is due to how Krystal gets turned into a completely different character altogether :D Let the flames begin.

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Drasiana

hate on Krystal a bit for giving Fox an attitude after he JUST SAVED HER LIFE....

Laugh at how tall Krystal looks compared to Fox. Fox gets much pity...

Krystal is forgiven for her outburst because she falls for him.

Ok, now you are just being a whinny little......uuuuggghhh....Fox confirmed to be a doormat, courtesy of Krystal (who now everyone has a reason to hate)

 

Congrats, this post is literally actually creepier than it would've been if it had only consisted of "I saw Krystal and then fapped for three days straight"

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Ori

First time I saw Krystal I had a thought I never expected to have before, ever:

...

who the hell changed the color config

 

And obviously I had all my wat invoked due to the strange speech in the beginning. Could tell it wasn't Spanish because I'm familiar with Latin-derived languages (BRBRBR) and I knew Japanese sounded different so I instantly assumed she was speaking Spamlish or something.

 

Other than that it followed to ups and downs of likability.

 

Faux-analytics because why not:

Jxl79Fi.png

 

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StarFoxfan-FUR_ever

Congrats, this post is literally actually creepier than it would've been if it had only consisted of "I saw Krystal and then fapped for three days straight"

 

I'm hoping you're just messing with me because that surely was not my intention. I gotta remember that reading text on the internet does not allow someone to understand what is being emphasized the most unless of course you use THIS or THIS and maybe once in a while THIS

 

But really, I sincerely hope you understand I was making fun of how the characters seem to have an issue playing off of each other's personalities as well as the poor decision making abilities they seem to have

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Drasiana

The long and short of it here can basically be summed up in this convenient tweet.

 

tumblr_n1jlrejt8P1qztisdo1_500.jpg

 

in this case, replace Han Solo with Falco.

 

Even though I dislike Krystal, what I dislike more is the unreasonable double-standard she's held to compared to the other characters.

 

Falco ditches Star Fox twice for no definable reason and acts like a huge dick about it, but Krystal goes off to do her own thing after Fox forces her off the team for his own selfish reasons and suddenly the fandom won't shut up about what a horrible nasty disgusting bitch-slut she is (not your words, but some choice others that I've seen).

 

In Adventures, Fox is shown as being impatient, sarcastic and only in it for the money. But do you fault him for any of that in the same way you fault Krystal for taking her staff back from this random guy she doesn't even know? So she can shoot Andross in the face as revenge for him trapping and torturing her and murdering the Earthwalkers she came to the planet to save to begin with?

 

I'm just saying that thinking "that cartoon fox is kinda hot" is significantly less fucked up than the general fandom attitude that Krystal is only a likable, respectable character when she's acting as Fox's obedient waifu.

 

To make this slightly more topic relevant I guess I could say I first saw Krystal in Adventures, went "wow she would be neat if she wasn't tossed into the Damsel Crystal for the entirety of the game so she could be ogled while a porno sax plays", onto "wow she had no purpose at all" in Assault, to going "hey cool she kinda did something this time" in Command only to hide under a table as droves of fanboys rampaged throughout the land, enraged by the unthinkable betrayal of Command!Krystal's frequent refusal to bend over for them Fox. All interspersed with my various stages of anger over missed potential, dodging reams of porn, and crying WHY to both the heavens and the disconcertingly polarized fandom.

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Emiko Gale

I was a 7 year old girl when my dad first played Adventures...I wasn't a Starfox fan back then. But I thought Krystal was pretty and cool and because I was such a hopeless romantic back then I knew that she and Fox would become love interests.

 

Now when I became a Starfox fan at the age of 11 I was envious of Krystal's beauty and wanted blue hair, an elegant tail, and ears just like hers.

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      KRYSTAL JUMPED IN HER ARWING WITH THE CHEESE IN TOW, SHE WASN'T FEELiNG TOO GOOD, THIS WE ALL KNOW
      "So they don't like me clutching on to cheese, do they? I wasn't about to convince them it was my baby, I need Fox Mccloud back, he's the mashed potato to my gravy" said Krystal. Feeling sad, with dejected eyes, she flew herself into a black hole.
      She got warped to Planet Earth, London UK to be exact. Krystal sounded like she came from there, we'll never know why. Perhaps it's past life stuff, but for now, gotta fly!
      Her arwing crashed and she jumped out with a parachute. She brushed dust off her legs and frantically searched the wreckage for cheese.
      She pulled out some cheese and got down on her knees.
      "Oh, cheese, you'll always be special to me. My one reminder of whom I love, Fox if you're still out there, please show me a dove" said Krystal.
      A dove flew down and stole her cheese. Krystal ran towards a policewoman.
      "You look rather blue," said the policewoman.
      "I am blue, my name is Krystal, yes it's true. A dove flew off into the sky with my cheese, he did not even ask first,
      nor did he say please!" replied Krystal.
      "I can't help you this instant, I think it's been too long a shift. I've never seen a fox person, if you get my drift. But cheese? Yes, it's delicious when spread over fresh mana. Krystal, has anyone told you that you sound just like Princess Diana?" said the cop.
      Krystal broke down in tears and yelled out to the Krazoa to take her away to Fox. So they gave her a test. A taste test of cheeses, conducted by them.
      The Krazoas loved cheese. With cheese they were easy to appease. So they brought her to where Fox was...sitting in a London pub, eating cheese and drinking wine, while helping Falco flick away a bug.
      "Fox," said Krystal tapping Fox on the back. "You know I'm the only one that can understand you, I just have a knack!"
      "Do I know you, blue lady? Oh, Krystal, that's right. It's called a rivalry okay? Let me get back to my rivalries!" said Fox, who then proceeded to chat with Falco.
      "That bird can buzz off, he's bloomin' pissing me off. Now Fox, look at me! We were a team, like Mcnee and Dianna Rigg. Would you forgive me if I handed you a fig?"
      "Figs are old school and I'm just as depressed as you. My nose is stuck to this table like glue!" said Fox.
      "Fox, I have cheese!" said Krystal. Fox looked at the cheese.
      "Get that away!" said Fox violently slapping away the food. Krystal's dress came undone, leaving her in a bikini. All the onlookers looked,
      Krystal, she was damn pretty!
      "Terrific, everyone's staring at me and my rack. Fox won't you please come back?" said Krystal.
      "Can't right now!" said Fox.
      "Oh, please, Fox, let's go right now! Repair to our Arwings, with that food made from a cow" said Krystal.
      "Food made from a cow?" asked Fox, with a twinkle in his eye. "You mean cheese right?"
      "Yes, Fox. Cheese!" said Krystal.
      "To heck with cheese!" said Fox. Krystal started to cry.
      "No, no, hear me out, you must know the reason why!" said Fox. Brushing away a tear, Krystal listened.
      "Krystal I realize I love you more than anything in the universe. You're the greatest gift ever, this I now know, let's rise from the pits where we sunk so low" said Fox. Fox looked into Krystal's eyes, so sweet and sublime. He saw the cheese in her hands, and realized she was one hundred percent divine.
      "I can't believe how foolish I was!" said Fox with a teary eyed grin. He hugged Krystal, and they both shared a kiss. The crowd was confused,
      but to Fox and Krystal, this was bliss.
      "Falco, just admit my boyfriend's a better pilot than you. Go home to your cat, she'll repair your beak like new!" said Krystal.
      Back in the Arwing:
      "You were actually going to change your name to Kursed?" asked Fox.
      "Yes, yes, yes I was. But now we have each other and a cargo hold full of cheese. And our beautiful sets of furs, free of all fleas!" replied Krystal.
      THE END
       
    • TheRadFox987
      By TheRadFox987
      Stuck on a ship with Slippy!
      "Well Krystal? We've gotta leave in a jiffy. But sadly, we've gotta leave behind Slippy" said Fox.
      "Slippy? He's so dippy! Why must you leave in such a jiffy?" asked Krystal.
      "We're leavin' you with the frog! It's hilarious and we're all for it!" said Peppy.
      "Why? Why? Why is this? Surely you realize we don't at all mix" said Krystal.
      "It was my idea," said Falco with a chuckle. "Just laugh it off, it won't strain a knuckle"
      "I'm an icon of skill, great beauty, and brains, Slippy's slimey and wimpy, and a bringer of pains!" shouted Krystal.
      Slippy looked like his feelings were hurt, but Krystal just scoffed, as if he were dirt.
      "It won't be so bad, you'll see. We're off to get some space groceries, just Falco and me" said Fox.
      "Peppy, won't you stay? Please, please Peppy I implore you, I'll PAY!" said Krystal.
      "I'm goin' too, so don't hold your breath. I'm sick of being responsible for Slippy's certain death" said Peppy.
      Krystal and Slippy were alone.
      "Okay, Slippy, well this will have to do. Want to play Checkers or jump on the trampoline of goo?" asked Krystal.
      "I'm gonna go repair Fox's arwing!" said Slippy.
      "No, Slippy wait, I'm sorry I said all those things. When it comes to frogs of talent, um, you're among KINGS!" said
      Krystal.
      "You really think so?" asked Slippy.
      "Yes, yes, yes I do. A toad who builds spaceships? Most can't build a shoe!" said Krystal.
      "Oh, alright, I'll play Checkers" said Slippy.
      Krystal won.
      "Well, well, Slippy that sure was fun, but don't go just yet, I want something done" said Krystal.
      "What's thaT?" asked Slippy.
      "I want you to come over now and kiss my feet, you're bloody well cute and I've just noticed it" said Krystal. So Slippy did so, much to Krystal's amusement.
      "You won, oh queen of checkers" said Slippy.
      "Yes, yes, yes, please no applause" said Krystal.
      Later...
      Slippy was reduced to a puddle of slime, but Krystal caught him in a bucket, then looked at the slime confused.
      She poked it with a stirring apparatus then backed away.
      "Don't worry, it was something I ate, and also I regenerate!" said Slippy, in an assuring tone.
      Later...after he regenerated...
      "You shot me!" said Slippy as he was playing Call of Duty.
      "Oh really? I think I'll shoot you again, right in your frog booty!" said Krystal.
      Later...
      "TABLE TENNIS IS SCARY!" said Slippy.
      "I know, I know" replied Krystal, laughing.
      Later, on a water bed...
      "That was strange," said Slippy.
      "I know, I know" said Krystal, taking a puff from a cigarette. "Table tennis is a peculiar thing,"
      Slippy's eyes widened.
      Later...
      "Look, Slippy you're wonderful but this isn't going to work. I'm sorry if I've been a bit of a jerk. You're a frog I'm a fox and its my natural response,
      but now that we've been together, we've had some jolly good romps" said Krystal.
      "Thanks Krystal" said Slippy, wiping away a tear. Krystal and Slippy held each others hands, and they looked like they were about to kiss, my that was a scene
      Fox would want to miss.
      The others came back.
      "Krystal, don't steal our soldier, he won't turn into a prince, he'll just whimper and wince" said Peppy.
      "It's a prank, trust me" said Fox.
      "It's nothing really, nothing at all. Just helping him feel better, for being green, slimey, and small" replied Krystal, turning red.
      "Stealin' our soldier. What should we do Fox?" asked Peppy.
      "It's a joke, TRUST ME, I know both of them all too well!" said Fox.
      "It ain't no joke, I think we should have em both court martialed!" said Peppy.
      "UGH! This is why I hate fanfiction! Of all possible pairings, UGH!" said Krystal storming off in a huff.
      "Told ya. Court martialing time!" said Peppy.
      The End
    • TheRadFox987
      By TheRadFox987
      Star Fox Chronicles, a two chapter tale
      It was a high strung day in the Great Fox Mothership. Everyone in Team Star Fox had been hyper. For one thing, it had been an unusually busy month for them. It seemed as if every five days or so a new alert would pop up on the transmission screen. Whether it was shutting down facilities that had been taken over by the few remaining Aparoids, chasing down Star Wolf, rescuing a planets inhabitants from invading evil forces, or even finding General Pepper's favorite missing uniform badge, the Star Fox team had not been able to catch a break to say the least. So, with that having been said, Fox Mcloud was sitting in the comfy lavish couch of the Great Fox Mothership, attempting to relax. His revenue was not as high as he had initially hoped for, as he had blundered some of his recent missions due to not being able to keep up with all of them. He had wanted to take Falco and Peppy on an extended golfing trip to Fortuna. Fox kicked back on the couch, pulling his socks off and after putting his feet on a stool, he sipped his soda.
      "I am going to enjoy this weekend if it kills me, and I do mean that literally" Fox muttered to himself. Just then Falco sat by him.
      "Hey Foxster, look I know you're minding your own business Fox, but we gotta talk now" said Falco. Fox spewed his soda out of his mouth.
      "Don't tell me, General Pepper's hologram again?" asked Fox.
      "No. I just couldn't help but notice that you're lazing around when you said you were gonna repair my Arwing today" replied Falco.
      "It's already fixed. I just need to spruce up the fuselage and tweak the engine a bit" said Fox.
      "What? You mean you're not gonna fix it today?" asked Falco. "Ha, typical of you, Fox"
      "Look Falco, I'm trying to relax here, it's been a stressful week for all of us" said Fox.
      "It has? I'm holding together pretty well. Everyone else has been too. Can you pass the potato chips?" asked Falco. Suddenly, Peppy Hare burst out of the upper hallway of the Great Fox and raced downstairs putting on his best coat.
      "Enemy ships? Where? Don't start without me!" said Peppy, proving once and for all that the Star Fox team was not holding itself together well at all.
      "No! P-O-T-A-T-O. Potato. Potato chips." said Falco.
      "I don't get it," said Peppy. "I don't know what those things are"
      "Fine then, be that way" said Falco, brushing off Peppy's apparent perceived weirdness.
      "We're gonna try to relax today, old man" said Fox.
      "Yeah, I guess I am getting old, aren't I?" said Peppy, sighing, and wiping a tear out of his eye.
      "Hey you wanna join us?" asked Fox.
      "No, I'll be fine, I'm just gonna go turn on the jupebox a bit and sulk around thinking about the past" said Peppy. Fox raced up to Peppy.
      "Nah, Pepster. You just need some pep talk. People need pep talk, pep talk is what makes people peppy!" said Fox.
      "Pa-pa-pep talk? You're serious?" asked Peppy.
      "As serious as I can be. Live up to your namesake! You're not old at all, in fact, you're gonna keep going and going and going forever!" said Fox, handing Peppy a self help pamphlet and four hundred Corneria bucks.
      "Those were some of the best fruits of my commissions, old pal. Don't sweat it, buy the little lady something nice with that" said Fox.
      "Yeah, hold on a minute, let me count this out. Thanks Fox, you're a swell interstellar feller. Um, as for the lady, what lady?" asked Peppy. Fox shrugged.
      "Anyway, feel better Peppy you're not too old" said Fox. Peppy's ears seemed perkier and he sat down on the couch with Fox and Falco.
      "I wonder what's on the tube today" said Peppy reaching for the TV remote. Falco turned his head towards Fox.
      "So, Fox, about my Arwing. See, Katt Monroe wanted me to take her to Fortuna this weekend to see the ocean. Her craft got eaten by one of
      Andross's robots and in just a few hours she's gonna be here" said Falco.
      "Can't deal with it," said Fox, helping Peppy figure out where the dubbed Macbethian soap operas were and how to navigate through them.
      "Do a-do a, achoo!" sneezed Peppy. Falco jumped in the air, sprawling his feathers everywhere, yelling.
      "I'll get you a tissue, Pepster" said Fox, reaching for a tissue. Falco just chuckled mischeviously.
      "You were saying, Mr. Peppy?" asked Falco.
      "Do a barrel roll! God it feels good to say that after all these years" said Peppy.
      "Well, there was that time you were locked in a padded cell saying that over and over, believing you were dictating commands to the team" said Falco.
      "Shut up Falco, he overcame his PTSD years ago" said Fox.
      "Hey, cool it, I'm on his side. One hundred and ten percent. But Katt Monroe wanted me to take her to Fortuna this weekend, and I can't take her there without my Arwing" explained Falco.
      "Grr, oh for gosh sake, I'll go get my tools and head for the docking area" said Fox.
      "That's more like it Mr. Fix it!" said Falco.
      "For the love of the galaxy Falco, please do not call me that" replied Fox, rummaging through his tool shed.
      "Where did I put the spare parts for the attenuator, darn it. Oh, there they are. Never mind!" said Fox, continuing to search for parts.
      "Fox, Fortuna's just a half an hour away don't blow this" said Falco. Fox swore under his breath, and muttered angry things in Corneria language.
      "Falco please be reasonable, I'm trying to help you" said Fox.
      "Peppy, I'm gonna need somebody with your decades of experience to come help me sort this stuff out" said Fox.
      "Good, I see the enemy core" said Peppy. Fox's eyes were in shock.
      "What did you say?" asked Fox. Peppy laughed. "Nothin, just pullin' yer leg"
      Meanwhile, Miyu Lynx was hanging upside down like a bat, she was also playing catch with Slippy using a magic 8 ball.
      "Catch the ball you calf-frog!" said Miyu.
      "I am not a calf-frog I'm a full grown bullfrog!" said Slippy.
      "The day I stop calling you a calf-frog is the day Rob64 stops constantly complimenting me on my perfume!" replied Miyu.
      "Then I quit!" said Slippy, sobbing.
      "Aww, don't feel bad. Come back. Oh well, I think I'm gonna take a nice hot bubble bath" said Miyu, who was unusually perky and happy for reasons not yet known. Was she in love with someone?
      Later...in the darkest corners of the universe...
      We join a briefing room within the Grand oblivion Mothership of Emperor Andross, Wolf O' Donnel and Leon. Panther and Pigma were on holiday. Yeah.
      "Welcome. O'Donnel and Leon? Front and center! Now then, gentlemen, I, the great and noble Emperor Andross shall have you both realize that this is a fully committed fraternity that relies soley on the upmost strength, integrity, and dedication of its members. As you are both well aware, the Star Fox team is still causing trouble for our beloved Venom and its neighbors. Soon we will be unable to occupy or colonize any planet in need of our services, and I fear that day drawing ever near. Fox and his notorious group of space bandits survived our deliciously unscrupulousattack on Eladard. Here is a detailed schematic of all your failings. Phantron, powerpoint please" ordered Andross. Phantron was a tiny robot who helped Andross for no rewards or monetary compensation because he did a very poor job of helping the emperor most of the time.
      "Not that picture!" said Andross, kicking Phantron right in the nuts and bolts. He fell over in a scrap heap. Wolf glanced down at Phantron with a look of pity.
      "Does your robot need help, Andross?" asked Wolf.
      "Yes, the uncanny assistance of your repulsive face!" said Andross,
      picking up a discombobulated Phantron and throwing the train wreck of an excuse for an automaton directly
      at Wolf. Wolf fell over.
      "Get it off me, get it off me" yelled Wolf, rolling on the floor. Andross rolled his eyes, and pushed a button activating Phantron's torture device.
      Phantron began inserting excruciatingly sharp electronic needles into Wolf's body.
      "Aaaaaugh. You're horrible, emperor. Horrible!" said Wolf.
      "Haha, yes, I know" said Andross with a proud pompus glare.
      "Get your insipid machine off me" said Wolf. Leon laughed.
      "Don't get your flipping fur all frazzled. I think he likes you. My, this is fun to watch" said Leon.
      "Leon, get the robot off of Wolf" said Andross. Leon was deriving sick pleasure from watching Wolf suffer, as usual.
      "Leon! You obey the me! The emperor! You fight for the emperor, you live for the emperor, you are a soldier for the emperor, remember?" yelled Andross.
      "Yes, Master, sorry. Here Wolf, let me help you" said Leon, pulling the robot off of Wolf's face.
      "There, there!" said Leon wiping Wolf's face clean with a napkin from his delectable Planet Borgalort cold beef sandwich, that he was munching on.
      "Gentlemen, are you finished? Good. I'll handle the presentation from here onwards. As we were saying, the Star Fox team is still not out of commission. They continue to do their dirty work all across the universe, making it increasingly and relentlessly difficult for us to pursue our goals of interplanetary domination and conquest. The galaxy will never know true might, leadership, and power until we eradicate them and those who approve of their reckless ways. Be aware that the Galactic Federation knows full well that I intend to use some of the populace here on Venom as scientific research projects to create super soldiers for my army, on a strictly voluntary basis of course. I did not want to resort to such methods but your repeated failures have led me to wonder about my own convictions and now I see full well that you two are incapable, incompetant, and downright lousy!You will be sent out my air lock chamber soon if you fail your next mission. Go destroy Star Fox. Seek out, kill, and destroy, and don't come back here until every last Cornerian is brought to me" ordered Andross.
      "Your majesty, every single Cornerian? Beamed to your mothership? What for? Are you lonely?" asked Wolf.
      "A good soldier doesn't question," said Andross, rubbing his palms together in a contemplative fashion. "Destroy Star Fox and round up every last Cornerian citizen and bring them all to me. Use the Space Dynamics multi-billion dollar Galactic Sweeper Beaming Device I have installed on your ship to do so. This is an order. You do it if you value Venom, and if you value your life!" said Andross with an evil grin.
      Back with the good guys:
      "It's all fixed up, Falco" said Fox.
      "That's great and all, but Katt Monroe was supposed to be here an hour ago, and I can't find my cell phone to call her with" replied Falco.
      "Well, that's a problem I guess. But, then again, Peppy's a veteran in need of care and I have to get him his spagetti and meatballs" replied Fox.
      "It's ok, Fox. I'll just stick to this baloni sandwich I found in the fridge. It's an old salty dog, just like me" said Peppy, eating.
      "oh no!" said Falco, looking out the window with a look of horror. He saw his phone floating through space.
      "I'll go get that thing!" said Fox, putting on his uniform and racing to his Arwing. He saw a note that read the following:
      "You'll be shot down if you miss a beacon. Gone to watch Miss Laleethia Levanorsi sing Corneria the beautiful at Sargasso. Love, yours truly, SLOB64"
      "Slob64, my old derogatory nickname for Rob64. Ha. Anyway, I gotta get going"
      Later...
      Fox reached out of ship while wearing his protective suit and pulled the cellphone back in. He laughed as he read the texts that got Falco's
      feathers in a frantic fit.
      "Falco, you are such an idiot, such a card" said Fox chuckling. "But I forgive you, you loveable scamp!" he added.
      Back in the mothership, upstairs, we join a very kind-hearted bathing beauty in a serene spa-like room full of plant life and statues and meditation CD's scattered about!
      The beautiful and impeccable space princess, spa owner, pilot, book author, and well-known Cornerian philanthropist Miyu Lynx was
      upstairs in a bubbling and warm hot tub relaxing herself. She had just finished washing her legs with a sponge, watering her plants and had been listening to some really good beepy tech-ish music, if you follow. She took a deep breath, and exhaled, slowly sinking herself into the water.
      "Ahhhh, I love everyone and everything" said Miyu. Her pet bird Pindove squawked.
      "That's my girl. She loves everyone, and everything" said Pindove.
      "Yeah, yes, I sure do" said Miyu in a breathy voice.
      "Wait does that mean you love me too? For realz?" said Pindove, blushing.
      "Sure does, Pindove. I'd never eat you, cuz I'm just too sultry for poultry" said Miyu. She splashed her hands around in the water happily. Then she looked at her palms.
      "I have such incredible hands" said Miyu.
      "Hands. Yes. Incredible, maybe. But I'd say flawless and superior"
      "Ohhh, Pindove, I am the light, you are the darkness, the world is my seed crystal and Katina was so sublime before the emperor seized it" said Miyu.
      "Squawk! So sublime, so sublime" replied the bird.
      "I wish this day would never end. I shant ever be happier" said Miyu. Suddenly, her door broke down, and Falco raced through the room yelling in some ancient alien language. Miyu screamed.
      "Eeeeep!" shrieked Miyu.
      "Where is it?" yelled Falco.
      "Eep! Eeeeep!" Miyu screamed again. Falco raced from one end of the room to the other repeatedly, knocking his head against the wall as he did so,
      tossing plant pots to and fro.
      "Get out of here now, whatever you are, you bad intruder!" said Miyu, throwing a bar of soap at Falco.
      "Fa-Fa-Falckie? Falckie is that you?" asked Miyu. Falco took one look at the cute and sweet Miyu in her bikini.
      "Falckie, are you okay?" asked Miyu. Falco's eyes were widened, and his right eye was twitching repeatedly.
      "Falckie, it's okay Falckie, Falckie? Falckie?" asked Miyu. Miyu splashed water at Falco, causing Falco to go crazy and start looking in all directions
      like a chicken with its head cut off, frantically licking and biting his wings.
      "No need to get your feathers in a fluster, Falckie. Go back to your post okay, Falckie?" said Miyu. Falco's right eye just kept on twitching, and he finally unfroze his body and broke out of his darn near catatonic state and once again became madly energized, running from wall to wall, giving himself head injuries in the process, until finally he landed in the water, doing a cannonball and splashing nearly all of it out of the tub. As his feathers began feeling the bubbling, he squawked repeatedly, flapping his wings, struggling to swim around to get to the surface as more water flew out of the tub. Finally there was no more water, the room was a swimming pool, and Falco was flopping around like a fish while Miyu tried to reassure him that he was not a fish.
      "You can stop now," said Miyu. Falco looked like he was struggling to breathe, Miyu tossed a mint into Falco's mouth and he spit it out in her face.
      Miyu put a towel on and ran out of the room, racing down into the living room with Peppy.
      "He's lost it, Pepperoni. I was in a vane romantic wonderland until that bird went crazy and barged in while I was having the greatest moment of my life!" said Miyu.
      "Wha-what's that?" asked Peppy, who seemed to be in a television induced coma.
      "Oh no, not you too" said Miyu
      "Huh? Oh, Miyu. Help yourself, there's good stuff in the freezer, I'm just worried about Fox is all" said Peppy.
      "Worried about Foxy? Really? What's he up to, Gramps?" asked Miyu.
      "It's nothing. He's on a bit of a wild goose chase though, pumpkin.
      He's out in his Arwing chasing Falco's cell phone through outer space" said Peppy.
      "That...makes...sense" said Miyu in a sarcastic sassy tone.
      "It's all part of the sacred Cornerian duty" explained Peppy. Falco came flopping down the stairs, and landed on the floor face-up, opening and
      closing his beak repeatedly, and begging for water and pain killers. Then Fox came back in his Arwing, landed, came out, and ran into
      the living room.
      "Falco, I got your cell phone! Here ya go!" said Fox. Miyu pointed at the bird on the floor. Falco looked dead as a doornail. Fox could not believe his eyes.
      "Falco, are you okay?" asked Fox.
      "He'll be okay he just needs some good iced tea. Iced tea always helps. Fry him a pancake maybe" suggested Peppy.
      "No, don't fry him a pancake, Pepperoni's just messing with ya, he likes to do that, I should know, he and I are close!" said Miyu.
      "Well, I think he's probably okay. He was like this when we were room-mates back in the academy sometimes before finals" said Fox.
      "Yeah, it's just all this stress, I think" said Miyu.
      "We're gonna have to build a monument to him. He was a good feller!" said Peppy.
      "You mean like that monument we built for Slippy once when we thought he died? Cut it out Peppy!" said Fox.
      "Blur-blur-wing blabbit!" said Falco, speaking jibberish.
      "Wing blabbit? He's talking jibberish, that can't be good!" said Fox.
      Suddenly, a transmission appeared on screen:
      Fox, this is General Pepper. Andross is at it again, he's ordered the Star Wolf team to capture top secret Cornerian military equipment and
      sell it on the black market in order to aquire funds to build a doomsday device capable of beaming up every citizen of our planet into
      his mothership for some sort of purpose of which we know nothing about. You must head for Corneria at once, it is in grave danger.
      I promise your paycheck will be enough to pay the rent.
      "Oh my goodness, that's just what I needed to hear" said Fox. Miyu comforted Fox.
      "It'll be okay. We'll all get through this somehow" said Miyu. She glanced over at Falco.
      "Did he just burp?" asked Miyu.
      "Yes, I think he did," replied Fox. Miyu decided to hug Falco.
      "You poor poor innocent birdie you didn't deserve this! Foxy woxy found your phone, yes he did" said Miyu, kissing Falco's beak. Falco turned red, and began racing through the ship. Then Fox held up his phone, and threw it behind the sofa.
      "Go get it boy! Go get the phone!" said Fox. Falco chased after the phone like a hunting dog, and brought it to Miyu, looking up at her with
      intense approbation, honor, and respect.
      "Falckie, you've never really acted like THIS around me before!" said Miyu, biting her lower lip. She had only seen him behave this way around Katt or Fox.
      "Falco, cut it out. That's your phone, not hers! Snap out of it!" said Fox, snapping his fingers. As soon as Falco heard Fox's fingers snap, he came back to his senses. Then Fox relayed the message from General Pepper, Then Fox relayed the message from General Pepper. They weren't required for another hour or so, so Falco took a bath to relax.
      In Falco's tub:
      Falco was lathering his feathers when suddenly a giant machine arose from the water. It was the Blue Marine in its primitive state. Slippy
      had been testing it out in the hot tub, but this time it was on purpose to help Miyu get revenge on Falco.
      "Oh crud, jeez laweez, what the heck is that?" said Falco. The machine chased him, taking photos of his tail feathers as he ran. As Falco raced downstairs
      in a fit yet again, Miyu and Slippy laughed and high fived each other.
      "Put her there, you big bad bullfrog you!" said Miyu to Slippy.
      THIS STORY HAS TWO CHAPTERS! GO TO CHAPTER 2 NOW! Lol. Or get yourself a cup of coffee first.
      Pepper was seated in his office, chomping roughly on taffy and assorted candies. The walls were lined with
      quotes from many past Cornerian generals. He seemed rather cool and collected, but hiding underneath that
      exterior was a ferrocious commanding warrior hound with an incredible spirit. Pepper and Peppy often tossed back various strategies
      to one another, then relayed them to the rest of the team.
      "Good day, Peppy. I've worked out something that should prove to do well for the team's effort. If you have any questions, just ask" said Pepper.
      "Howdy. Well, alright then" said Peppy, seating himself directly opposite Pepper. Pepper slid over a piece of paper detailing the route he determined that the team should take.
      "What do you think? Does it meet your satisfaction?" asked Pepper.
      "Well, I'll tell ya one thing it meets sir, it meets mah eyeballs" replied Peppy.
      "Still working it out, I see. Have some taffy, good for what ails ya. In fact, one of these taffies before the toils of war saves us from gallons
      of blood on the battlefield, I swear by it to this day" said Pepper. Peppy unwrapped the taffy that the general gave to him and began chewing it while
      looking over the strategy.
      "Sir, I-I-I," Peppy could not finish his sentence.
      "Out with it you blasted bunny rabbit, what is it?" yelled Pepper, slamming the desk.
      "Well sir, it's just that I have an idea for a minor alteration to your plan" said Peppy.
      "What's wrong with it?" asked Pepper. Peppy pulled out a small crayon and began drawing over things, and then showed Pepper the piece of paper.
      "You think the team should go to Fortuna before Macbeth? You're mad!" said Pepper.
      "Listen sir, I know there's a lot of gigantic dinosaurs on Fortuna with helmets and shields and if we could conquer Macbeth first and take back that weapon Andross stole from your artillary base, we'd have a better chance against the dinosaurs. Also, think about it, it's a sneakier way to approach Venom, I happen to have stolen some of Andross's plans, and he's expecting the Star Fox team to take the first route, not the third" explained Peppy. Pepper looked over Peppy's new plan.
      "Bravo, sir. But hogwash. Are you blind, bunny boy? I wasn't planning on taking the team through the first route, in fact my spies
      fed Andross the phony intelligence that we were gonna go that way. Though I commend your sense of strategy, you're overlooking an important detail. We don't have enough fighters to
      deploy to free the rest of the galaxy. Also, if you look over my notes and blueprints you'll see that Fox will enter the black hole after
      setting out from the second route. Bottom line, we don't have enough fighters yet!" said Pepper.
      "Yes we do. I read in the Widow's Nebula that some members of Star Wolf have defected from Andross and are willing to help" said Peppy.
      "That's a bunch of hooey I don't believe it for a second" said Pepper, spitting his taffy in anger.
      "well, I see your point, General" said Peppy.
      "I should hope you do, sir. Content of character is very important to me. I've dealt with enough turncoats and traitors in my day" said Pepper.
      "What if I cloned myself into some kinda fancy souped up super weapon?" asked Peppy.
      "It is the unconquerable soul of a soldier, not the nature of the weapon he uses, that insures victory" replied Pepper.
      "Well I'll be, the unconquerable soul of a soldier, how bout that. Guess that's why we're outnumbered" said Peppy.
      "What did you say? Listen Peppy, my plan will work with some tweaking. The second wormhole in the Asteroid belt leads to a timeline in which
      our military is much more advanced" said Pepper.
      "I see. Well, maybe I'm just getting too old for this. How bout a corn dog and a cold beef sandwich?" asked Peppy.
      Peppy began devouring his corn dog ravenously.
      "Yeehaw, lord bless mah soul, this is the best meal I've ever eaten" said Peppy.
      "It may be your last. Eat heartily" said Pepper.
      "Well, I'm on my way now. Gotta go relay all this stuff to the team" said Peppy, getting into his Arwing.
      "Wait sir, I forgot to warn you of the warphole to Fichina on your way back to the Great Fox...oh well" said Pepper.
      As Peppy left, his only regret was that he failed to share his new chili recipe with the general.
      In a dark room, sitting at a table, the SF team planned their mission. Each member was sipping coffee and soda and enjoying themselves, for a while,
      then they began to wonder what was taking Peppy so long.
      "Where's the Pepster? I kinda miss him a little" said Miyu, pressing her nails against the table.
      "He's probably getting the map from the general. It should outline our course for this mission" replied Fox.
      "I think we should go the third route this time and take Andross by surprise" suggested Falco.
      "The last time we took the third route I had a disasterous experience with Wolf O' Donnel" replied Fox.
      "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Fox. I really need to learn to shut my big beak" said Falco.
      "Yeah, ya do!" said Fox.
      "Ca-ca-ca-can I say something?" asked Slippy.
      "Sure, Slip!" said Fox, flipping a quarter in the air and making it land on his nose. He then began spinning it on his nose.
      "I just wanted to say that I'm glad we're all here and that we should be thankful we have each other" said Slippy.
      "Yay, hugs all around!" said Miyu. Falco groaned, but Fox just chuckled.
      "Anything else, Slippy?" asked Fox.
      "Well, I was just gonna agree that trying to one up Andross by taking the third route might not be the best idea, there
      are black holes and time warps and things on that third route" said Slippy, stuttering. Miyu sipped her soda.
      "Peppy's late, he's usually here by now to chart the course and show us where we're going" said Miyu.
      "You know how Peppy is," said Falco. "He's probably asleep in a luxury hotel on Eladard or something. Peppy is anything but his namesake!"
      "Don't trash Peppy. He's the smartest, most wise and considerate guy I've ever met in my life, second only to you, Falco!" said Fox in a sarcastic tone.
      "Bushy tail, you earned yourself a cold beef sandwich!" said Miyu, tossing Fox a sandwich.
      "Thanks Miyu, this is delicious!" said Fox, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich. Miyu snapped her fingers, and another sandwich fell into the room.
      "There was more where that came from. Who else wants some sandwiches?" asked Miyu.
      "I sa-sa-sa-sorta want one. With some ba-ba-ba-ba-barbecue sauce, that'd be nice" said Slippy.
      "So you want barbecue sauce manufactured by the sheep people of the Baa Baa Galaxy or what?" asked Falco
      Later, after much sandwich eating soda sipping fun...
      "Well, Peppy isn't coming apparently, I tried to communicate to him on the messenger and his screen went to static!" said Slippy. But Falco was playing cards with Robert, and Fox and Miyu were having too much fun feeding one another to pay attention to Slippy.
      "Pour me some more Ginger Basil Grapefruit spitzer, Miyu!" said Fox.
      "Coming right up, your majesty" said Miyu, pouring Fox's drink. Fox guzzled it down, as Miyu deposited a grape in his mouth. Then she poured more
      spitzer into his glass, and into her glass as they toasted.
      "Some cheese with it?" asked Miyu.
      "Cheese would be great, you know in case you didn't know I love cheese" replied Fox.
      "To a long long riveting romance" said Miyu putting on a pretend accent of some sort, as she and Fox toasted again.
      "I gotta hand it to you Miyu, you're great at arranging little get togethers like this!" said Fox. Falco could not stop chuckling, and Slippy was
      about to panic.
      "I don't arrange the get togethers mah lord. They arrange me, but then I get back at em and one up em with my devout sense of preperation and
      servitude to the cause!" said Miyu.
      "Yeah, well, you're the best Miyu. Say Falco, we should all get together like this more often" said Fox.
      But Falco was playing cards:
      "Two aces, Rob!" said Falco. Slippy thwacked Falco with a frying pan.
      "Tell Fox and Miyu to get their ba-ba-ba butts into high gear now!" said Slippy.
      "Oh, okay. Yeah, good point" said Falco.
      "Tell them, now! Peppy's screen is static, his ship might have been shot down for all we know" said Slippy.
      "Okay Slip. Say Fox, have you forgotten something Fox? This is not a get together. It sure as hell wasn't arranged by Miyu! And the fate of the galaxy is at stake here.
      Is there something about cheese and grapefruit spitzer that sends you two off the deep end or something?" asked Falco.
      "The deep has no end, it keeps unraveling itself with one more tangled web, each getting more tangled and intricately woven than the other" replied Miyu.
      "Hahaha, my sentiment exactly," replied Fox, slamming the table with his fist.
      "Oooh, careful Foxy. Careful!" said Miyu.
      "We're doomed!" said Slippy.
      "Not necessarily. I've got a bullhorn for these silly tipsy whipsies!" said Falco. Falco used his bullhorn.
      "YOW! Falco, what are you doing?" yelled Fox.
      "Trying to bring you back into reality. Things are actually pretty grim right now we don't know where Peppy is!" said Falco.
      "Alas, poor Peppy," said Miyu, leaning back and staring into her fancy glass.
      "Remember that one time when he didn't show up till morning?" asked Fox.
      "Yeah, I do actually. But we should probably go meet with the General on his ship and get an update just to be safe" said Falco.
      So the team got their act together and flew their Arwings to meet with General Pepper.
      "Hello team. All the intelligence data and indications are that Peppy has gotten himself stranded on
      Planet Fichina in the middle of a blistering snowstorm! He doesn't even have a coat!" said Pepper.
      "What do you suggest we do sir?" asked Fox.
      "I don't suggest. I give orders.
      I order Miyu and Slippy to head towards Fichina, while Fox and Falco go and take out the Attack Carrier that has invaded Cornerian airspace" said
      General Pepper. Fox gave a military salute to Pepper.
      "Yes sir, Pepper sir" said Fox. He and Falco raced to their Arwings. Miyu and Slippy hesitantly teamed up, and went to their respective ships.
      We join Miyu and Slippy:
      "So, Slippy, this might be our first mission together, huh?" said Miyu.
      "Blurbitt!" replied Slippy. Miyu moved the Crystal Stick into gear and steered the ship into Fichina.
      "Blurbitt, huh? I like that actually" said Miyu. Suddenly, something came over Slippy as they entered Fichina's foggy atmosphere.
      "You missed a gold ring!" yelled Slippy trying to take charge of the Arwing's control pad.
      "No I didn't, Slipster what the heck are you doing?" yelled Miyu. Slippy sent the ship hurtling towards the ground, and Miyu jumped out and grabbed
      Slippy with her in a parachute. They both hit the ground and watched their Arwing blow up into smithereens.
      "Slippy, what was that?" asked Miyu.
      "I think it's just my allergies" replied Slippy.
      "Oh, yeah, terrific, Slipknot. You do realize you just got yourself the pink slip from me" said Miyu.
      "Is that a reward?" asked Slippy.
      "No, it's um, like, the opposite?" said Miyu.
      "You mean I'm still a calf frog in your eyes? Even after the little trick I hel[ped you orchestrate?"
      "Oh, Slippy, I'm a lynx, you're a frog, you know?" said Miyu.
      "Fair point" conceded Slippy. Miyu held Slippy's hand and attempted to comfort him as they trudged forward into the snow towards the red dot
      on their radar.
      Later...
      A giant missile nearly hit Slippy and sent him flying off far far away.
      Miyu entered the base, shown as a little red "dot" on her GPS navigator. She zapped all the guards with her ray gun and freed Peppy who was in a giant
      cage.
      "Pepster Pops, you're alive!" said Miyu, hugging Peppy.
      "Yeah, well hold on a minute pumpkin puss, I gotta check my pulse. Yeah. I'm still alive" replied Peppy.
      "Peppy, we've gotta find a way off of this planet. Did the baddies take your Arwing?" asked Miyu.
      "Remind me what a-what a...Arwing, as you call it, what is that thing anyway?" asked Peppy.
      "Oh, Peppy. You know what an Arwing is. Let's get out of here and get lunch!" suggested Miyu.
      Miyu and Peppy went to the Fichina Diner.
      "Miyu and Peppy, your tables are ready!" said a voice. Miyu and Peppy raced to their tables. Peppy looked over the menu. The waitress came over.
      "Hi, my name is Bloomeelia Glowdentissa, I'll be serving you today, how can I help you?" asked a cat girl in a maids outfit.
      "I'll have mashed potatoes with gravy and some beans" said Peppy.
      "Fichina's finest! And how may I help you?" said Bloomeelia, glancing at Miyu.
      "Grapefruit," said Miyu. "Just...grapefruit!"
      "Good choice! My friend Rallassa almost exclusively orders grapefruit here every time! I'll be right back!" said Bloomeelia.
      "So, Miyu, I've been thinkin, you know I have this chili recipe I'm thinkin' about perfecting once the war is over" explained Peppy.
      "Oooh, that sounds heavenly. Do tell me more" said Miyu, batting her eyelashes and gazing into Peppy's eyes.
      "Yeah. I'm thinkin' it needs some good ol' fashioned old time Cornerian spices" said Peppy.
      "Can't have enough of those," said Miyu, filing her fingernails.
      "Yeah. Some thyme maybe. Meatballs!" yelled Peppy, slamming the table. Bloomeelia came back with the mashed potatoes and grapefruit.
      "Thank you kindly Miss" said Peppy.
      "Yes thank you, rock on!" said Miyu.
      "You too, funky soul sister!" said Bloomeelia.
      "Do you and her know each other?" asked Peppy.
      "I ran into her once back in Academy. She dropped out early on though to become a sorceress" said Miyu. Miyu pressed the grapefruit against her mouth and
      nose and buried her face in it, soaking in the divine goodness of the moment.
      "Anyway, so I've got this chili thing all planned out" said Peppy.
      "Is your rabbit friend okay?" asked Bloomeelia.
      "He gets like this. His memory is fried" replied Miyu.
      "Well, I'm a sorceress and if I know one thing about memory, doing a special thing you haven't done in years usually gets your memories
      jogging like biscuit fueled fiends!" said Bloomeelia.
      "That gives me an idea of how we'll get the Arwing back from that base!" said Miyu.
      Later...
      "Peppy, you know your Arwing is in there, just because it's heavily guarded doesn't mean we can't get in there" said Miyu.
      "So many guards. Course, there are those barrels over there" said Peppy.
      "Exactly," replied Miyu. "We're gonna have to do it"
      "Get who to do what?" asked Peppy.
      "We're gonna do a barrel roll gosh darn it! I've waited my whole life for this chance" said Miyu.
      "I'm too old, Miyu" yelled Peppy.
      "No you're not!" said Miyu.
      "I'm not?" asked Peppy.
      "No, I think you're as prepped, ready, and as peppy as you've ever been" said Miyu, pushing Peppy into a barrel. She got into the barrel with him.
      "This is a tight squeeze. Crammed in here, but not bad. Not bad at all actually" said Peppy. The two began rolling down the hill, and they sent most
      of the guards running home, flattening some, to a degree. The barrel finally smashed into a wall and broke open.
      And there...in the midst of all...was the Arwing of Peppy, inside the base. Miyu and Peppy raced into the base.
      "Well, we did it, we did a barrel roll together" said Peppy, brushing off his pants.
      "Oh, Peppy. What would Vivian Hare think?" asked Miyu.
      "Who?" said Peppy, confused.
      "Ugh, do we need to do another barrel roll?" yelled Miyu.
      "I don't know but it never pays to underestimate Star Fox, that's for sure" said Peppy. Peppy was about to get into his Arwing
      with Miyu and fly off into the
      sunset when suddenly the dome like base's doors automatically shut, and a vortex appeared.
      Wolf and Falco came out of it.
      "Well well, look what the monsoons brought in. You know it's rather fitting that it end like this, as this planet
      is now the headquarters of Emperor Andross's entire base of operations. I'm only telling you this because I'm confident
      we will defeat both of you" said Wolf, putting out a cigarrette. He held a ray gun up to Peppy and Miyu and proceeded
      to tie them up.
      "You'll never get away with this, Bird Man and Wolf" said Peppy.
      "Falcky's joined up with Wolf and Andross? What the heck is going on?" said Miyu.
      "That can't possibly be Falco, his feathers are too ruffled" said Peppy.
      "No, it's really me. Been tempted to do this for ages, Fox always tried to one up me, he
      thought he had the upper hand of the deck, but now I'm the ace of spades. I now know the truth, that
      Pepper's been playing you all for fools and has you all eating out of his paws like termites, he broke the deal
      he had with Andross, not the other way around" said Falco.
      "Oh please, next you're gonna tell me Fox Mcloud's father actually died of cheese addiction" said Peppy.
      "Yeah, I'm sure some guy named Ben Cheese had something to do with it" said Miyu.
      "Please don't hurt us!" said Miyu.
      "Sorry lady, this is just our duty" replied Wolf.
      "Yes, Andross knows what he's doing" said Falco.
      "You see what's happening here? The bird finally started using his brains. You two can make up for your shortcomings if you so desire, I'm
      perfectly willing to get you two on my side as well, though I doubt you'll take me up on the offer" said Wolf.
      "I'd rather be put in a zoo!" said Miyu.
      "I'd rather be forced to deliver candy door to door in a bunny outfit" said Peppy. Falco groaned. Wolf continued speaking.
      "Cornerians are going to soon be upgraded, and those who refuse will be immediately terminated" said Wolf.
      "Upgraded? You mean experimented on and treated like an animal, right? Not gonna happen Wolf" said Peppy. Wolf pulled
      out a remote and activated a trap door with a growing wormhole underneath. He used the remote to lower the pillar Miyu and Peppy were tied to further and further down, hoping they would fall victim to the wormhole wherein Andross would kill them. He began mocking them.
      "Hey, no sweat dear fellows. Trust your instincts, don't ever give up, hahaha" chuckled Wolf. Wolf then got in Peppy's Arwing with Falco and was just
      about to take off, when Miyu began chewing on the ropes with her sharp teeth. She cut Peppy free the same way, and grabbed
      on to him just as he was about to fall into the hole. They began blasting inside the Arwing, causing the entire machine
      to start flashing. Wolf and Falco evacuated the ship and it burst into flames.
      "Congratulations, you destroyed your own ship!" said Wolf.
      "Not so" said Peppy, texting Pepper on his phone. A vortex opened and a fresh new Arwing appeared.
      "What the heck?" asked Wolf.
      "It pays to eat out of Pepper's paws, Wolf. But it doesn't pay to eat out of the hands of Emperor Andross, who's
      about to get his just desserts by the way" said Peppy, getting into his Arwing.
      "Take me with you" said Miyu, gazing into Peppy's face with starstruck eyes.
      "No, I'd feel too bad if something happened to you" replied Peppy.
      "Please, Vivian Hare's dead, and I...love you" said Miyu.
      "Oh, alright, if it means that much to you, I'd rather die with you than anyone else" said Peppy. Peppy
      and Miyu got into the Arwing, and flew into the wormhole to meet up with Andross. Wolf and Falco
      got into a seperate ship and followed in pursuit.
      The Final Battle Begins:
      Sure enough, there was Andross, complete with his diabolical mechanically constructed new face and metal hands.
      "The lynx and the rabbit, I'm not used to this. Very well, I'll destroy you both just the same" said Andross, as he
      began attempting to send enourmas blocks of energy towards Peppy's Arwing. Peppy fired many shots into Andross's hands
      destroying both of them. Finally Andross attempted to suck the arwing into his mouth.
      "Peppy, what do you do in this situation? Remember? You DO A BARREL ROLL!" said Miyu.
      "Understood, my precious lynx!" said Peppy, who made the Arwing do many consecutive barrel rolls succesfully avoiding
      Andross's sinister clutches. Finally Peppy began blasting the flashing red eyes of Andross, and Andross's face-ship split
      into pieces, leaving only a box with a giant brain inside of it. Peppy fired a nova bomb at it and it exploded. Miyu kissed Peppy's cheek and Peppy
      felt very relieved to be back in the game, and also incredibly amazed and amused, as he had defeated Andross for the first
      time with no help from Fox whatsoever.
      "Fox probly still thinks Andross is on Venom" said Miyu jokingly.
      "Yeah" said Peppy. "We rock!"
      "What about Wolf and Falco though?" asked Miyu.
      "Just got a text from Pepper. They've been taken into custody. Falco was exposed to a brainwashing helmet.
      The effects will wear off soon enough" said Peppy.
      Later...
      We join Falco and Katt in their apartment.
      "I can't believe I fell for Andross's garbage" said Falco.
      "It's okay, chickie poo. Your feathers have been ruffled enough. Come lather my fur why don't you?" said Katt.
      "Gee thanks, I think I'll pass for now" said Falco.
      "So, are you gonna take me on that vacation to Fortuna in that delicate ship of yours?" asked Katt.
      "Yes, but don't call it delicate that diminishes its value. Let's go, Katt!" said Falco.
      The Conclusion:
      "Wow, Peppy, I'll never consider you an old timer again" said Fox.
      "Congratulations to you and Miyu!" said Slippy.
      "Next week we're getting married" said Peppy.
      "I think I'm gonna cry" said Slippy.
      "I'm gonna cut the cake now. Know what it says on it?" asked Fox.
      "What?" asked Peppy.
      PEPPY WANTS YOU
      TO DO A BARREL ROLL