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Corrupt-a-Wish!


geoprimedonna

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T his thread is called "Corrupt-A-Wish", a magical thread of... Magical magicalness.... 

Anyway, the object of this game is to write something you wish for. The poster below you will grant it, but corrupt it in some way. 

For example: 

"I wish for a pony" 

Poster replies: 

"Granted, but on the first day you get it, it kicks you in the nuts." 

or: 

"I wish I had 4 seasons of LOST on DVD." 

Poster replies: 

"Granted, but all the bonus disks are missing, meaning you have to figure out the answers to the questions yourself." 

And last example: 

"I wish for a $50,000 computer with free wireless internet for life." 

Poster replies: 

"Granted, but the only game you are allowed to play on it is, 'Hello Kitty: Island Adventure'(which IS a real game, unfortunately for you)" 

Mine is that I marry with Fox McCloud. :p

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Granted, but he's only marrying for the money and cheats on you with Rosie O'Donnell.

 

I wish that I will someday make a significant and positive impact on the world, like what my grandfather did (he developed the international standard scale for grading Multiple Sclerosis) but bigger. Maybe developing a cheap and effective HIV vaccine or something like that.

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Granted, but the cure involves 42 painful shots in the buttocks. I wish for a million bucks, liability free with no death or property loss.

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Granted, but is done via an 80 year loan at 15% interest (and will increase with time)  :cool:

 

I want a inexpensive, death-free, good-looking ceiling fan that doesn't shake like a pendulum on the low speed.

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Granted, but now your residence shakes instead of the fan.

 

I wish for a working set of headphones.

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Granted, but they are pink and have Barbie written on the side of them, with sticky speakers.

 

I wish that I would've made a wish.

Edited by OneUnder
Fix'd. Mwahahaha
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Granted, but everything you love disappears.

 

I wish for world peace.

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Granted, but all people are dead. I wish OneUnder did not tamper with my post.

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Granted, but InfinitySquared is ran over by anti-Gardasil people. I wish Marcus could have a son.

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Granted, but it turns out to be Sinistar.

 

I wish that it wasn't so hot outside.

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Granted, but it's more frezzing than my butt! I wish it could rain ice cream

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Granted, but the ice cream is so heavy, houses collapse under the stress, and modern society comes to an end. I wish people weren't so stupid.

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Granted, but you are now surrounded by armchair intellectuals, couch conservatives, rocking chair radicals, morris chair modernists, spinny-chair socialists, and lawn-chair liberals who get all their info and ideas from Wikipedia, Reddit, and Tumblr.

I want a pizza.

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Granted, but it was delivered forty minutes late, and with the wrong toppings.

 

I wish for a comfier couch.

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Granted, but it is stuffed with orphan meat, which starts to smell of rot after a while. I wish for my one friend to respond to me on Steam.

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Granted, but they force you to assimilate into Origin.

 

I wish that my eyesight would improve.

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Granted, your head detaches and expands: you are now Andross. Team StarFox promptly attacks.

 

I wish I could hand off the keys to this account more often.

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Granted, but the account would then be assigned to geoprimadonna be default.

 

I wish for a decent lantern.

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Granted, but the lantern frame is the only thing decent about it. It doesn't light up.

If I could have one last wish, I would like a tasty fish.

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Granted, but the fish eats you. I wish my cat wasn't so goddamn fat.

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Granted, but your cat spends no more time with you as it is off exercising constantly. I wish for a cup of tea.

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Granted, but then you die from pretty much every awful disease because you weren't vaccinated.

 

I wish my parents would stop buying so many damn luxury cars.

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Granted, but you'll encounter even more first-world problems afterward.

 

I wish that I had a better source of relieving boredom.

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Granted, an influx of my army spams the shit out of SF-O in a way that doesn't immediately break any rules.

 

I wish I could make a productive post here.

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