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The "Uncles" (some mature scenes/language)

Arminius H O Fiddywinks

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I'm in a writing mood. However, this is no grimdark super edgy fanfic. It's simple, light, and rather laid back. It's a short read, and it won't kill any of your brain cells. Critiques are welcome. There are some mature scenes and language, so readers beware.


1: The Search

The Papetoonese capital city of Tara shined alone amid kilometers of godforsaken sand and rock, disturbed only by the mighty Conchobair River, which breathed life into the lush valley where Tara was located. The dry, hot desert air was filled with the sound of midday traffic, the hustle and bustle of countless pedestrians, various conversations concerning the weather, friends, family, and work, as well as loudspeakers proclaiming the daily news and the well-being of the State and of the People in general. The Societist Party of Papetoon is the governing body of Papetoon, and its omnipresent and omnipotent existence is known and respected by all. The McClouds were no exception, despite James McCloud being a loyal member of the Party, and a decorated, respected war hero.

James sat in the living room of his modest home in the suburbs of Tara. Sitting beside him was a toddler Fox, who was watching State Television with his father. The television showcased pictures of the Papetoonese People's Army, and included training exercises of various kinds, including infantry and armored exercises. The narrator proclaimed the glory and power of the People's Army, encouraging all citizens who wish to join to sign up immediately. "Daddy, aren't you in the People's Army?" Fox questioned, looking up at his father. James looked down to answer his son's question.

"That's right, Fox. Your Mommy and I are both in the People's Army. She's a doctor helping people who were hurt because of that earthquake in the Hasswick Mountains. She'll be back soon." He sighed, wondering if he'll see his wife again. The Hasswick Mountains are a notoriously geologically unstable and volcanically active region. Why anyone would build a city of 10 million people in the Mountains was beyond James. What if another catastrophe struck the area? What if his wife was crushed by a building, or fell into a crack in the ground?

"You promise?" Fox asked, his wide eyes piercing James's sunglasses. Those eyes persuaded James to answer.

"I promise," James replied.

"Pinkie swear," Fox said, sticking out his infinitesimal pinkie finger to his father. James, chuckling, stuck out his pinkie finger and shook his son's. Suddenly, the doorbell of the house rang, and James instinctively jumped up from his seat. He walked to the door, expecting government agents to execute a random search, as it has been ever since the Party's coming to power centuries ago. Composing himself, James opened the door, and made a clear path for whoever was waiting behind the door so that they could easily enter.

"Fox," he said to his son as he fully opened the door. "Remember, be nice to the officers. Say 'Yes sir' or 'No sir'." Fox nodded obediently. Suddenly, three Papetoonese Police Officers in summer uniforms entered the living room of the house. One wore a peaked cap, a long-sleeved officer's uniform, and combat boots, with the shirt, pants, and cap in russet brown. He was the superior officer of the other two officers, both of whom wore helmets made with a titanium alloy and painted russet brown, like their uniforms, which were short-sleeved. All three officers were carrying standard Papetoonese-issue sidearms, which the young Fox looked at intriguingly.

"Daddy," he said as he darted up from the couch to his father's side. "Don't you have clothes and guns like these guys?" James looked down at his inquisitive son.

"That's right, Fox," James replied. Meanwhile, the superior officer ordered his two underlings to search the house for any sign of political dissent. The officers looked high and low, tossing the cushions on the couch, opening drawers and rummaging their way through, opening all the cabinets in the kitchen, looking through the refrigerator, tossing the beds of both Fox and his parents, thoroughly searching each closet and opening every door, and even using x-ray and thermal scanners to search the walls, floors, and even the ceiling. All of the pictures in the house were disturbed, with the exception of a picture of Dennis O'Collins, the current Premier of the People's Republic of Papetoon, which hung above the television inserted into the wall. After the 10 minute search, the officers found no sign of dissent. The superior officer ordered his two men outside to speak privately with James. The two underlings closed the door behind them, and waited by a car parked on the curb. "Thanks again, Thomas," James said to the officer. "I'm always comfortable with a friend searching my house rather than a stranger."

"You're very welcome, Seamus," Officer Thomas replied in a thick, gravelly Papetoonese (Irish) accent. He looked down to Fox. "That's a fine lad you've got there, Seamus. Groomin' him to be a soldier like his father, hmm?"

"I'll let him choose what he wants to be, Thomas." The two shook hands, and Officer Thomas left James and Fox. He stepped into the police car, with one of his fellow officers taking his seat on the passenger's side, and the other sitting in the back. Within moments, the car drove off, seeking another home to search, thereby filling their quota. James closed the door, which was leaking precious cool air into the desert environment. However, another car approached the McCloud household, this time containing three very different characters.

(End of Chapter 1)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Awesome so far. Also, in the TV show I'm writing, one of the police officers is named Thomas. Go figure.

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2: Look Who's Here

As the car drove up onto the curb and parked itself, out came three very different gentlemen. One was a Cornerian rabbit named Peppy Hare. Another was a Magyar tykeriel named Laszlo Kalocsai. Finally, there was the Ruthenian Sclavic dragon named Bohdan Chmielnicki. All of these men, including James, had one thing in common: they survived Hell together: although not all of them left the battlefield unscathed. Lazslo lost his right arm during the War, and now had a bionic arm. Bohdan, however, lost something far more profound than a body part. "I believe that's the Commissar's house," Peppy announced, pointing to James's residence. His voice had a slight southern drawl to it.

"Well then, let's greet our old friend," Laszlo said with a Magyar (Hungarian) accent. Bohdan simply nodded, and the trio stepped away from the car. Peppy pressed the lock button on his car keys, and the vehicle chirped, its lights blinking twice. The three of them walked up to James's door, with the grass in his yard lush from the constant watering and the feast of fertilizer it receives monthly. A children's tricycle was sitting in the yard next to some bushes and flowers, which constituted as the home's garden. The driveway contained a mini-van, the latest in Papetoonese automotive engineering: it's leather interior encasing automatic drive capabilities, parking assist, GPS, a DVD player, and even a video game system, not to mention advanced safety systems. As Peppy knocked on James's door, the harsh desert sun beat down upon the exposed Lazslo, who was sweating profusely. Tykeriels were not used to the desert, and he was squinting his eyes. His v-neck t-shirt was drenched with sweat. Bohdan, however, who was wearing an opened hooded jacket with the sleeves rolled up, was perfectly fine. In fact, Bohdan felt quite cool, since the average internal temperature of a Sclavic dragon was 75 degrees Celsius. The three of them waited patiently for James to answer the door.

James, meanwhile, was attending to his disrupted home. The overturned bed sheets and pillows, along with the opened cabinet doors and tossed plates and other silverware, and the disturbed pictures, needed to be rearranged back into their original positions. Fox was still hypnotized by the television as his father nonchalantly put his house back together. The young Fox, however, had his attention caught by the knocking on the house door by Peppy Hare. "Daddy," he said to his father in the kitchen, who was placing various dishes back into their respective cabinets. James turned to his son sitting on the couch, the television still playing in the living room. Fox pointed to the door, saying, "There are more people knocking on the door." James stepped out of the kitchen, curiously staring at the door. He approached the door, and turned on an interface beside it. It showed, on a monitor, the McCloud doorstep, and three people standing in it, waiting. They were a rabbit, a tykeriel, and a dragon. James smiled, and opened the door.

"Hey, guys!" he said warmly.

"Ah, James!" Peppy said. The two of them shook hands firmly.

"How are you, Jakab?" Laszlo asked warmly.

"Oh, I'm just fine, Laszlo," James replied. He and Lazslo embraced each other, patting each other on the back. James then turned to the hulking Ruthenian dragon, standing at over 2 meters tall. "How are you, Bohdan?" James asked. Bohdan nodded.

"I am better," he said with a thick Ruthenian (Eastern European) accent. James then gestured the trio to step inside, and they did so. James closed the door behind them. Fox, meanwhile, jumped from his seat, excited to see his "uncles" once more.

"Uncle Peppy! Uncle Laz! Uncle Bo!" he said elatedly, hugging each of the men's legs. Upon reaching Bohdan, Fox was raised up almost to the ceiling by Bohdan, who was carrying Fox on his hip.

"Oh, my little man is getting bigger, yes?" Bohdan said. Fox nodded "yes" proudly.

"Daddy says I'm growing a centimeter a day!"

"Well, with a strong body such as yours, one can expect that!" Fox giggled.

"You talk funny, Uncle Bo," Fox remarked. Laszlo, meanwhile, stumbled into the kitchen, desperate for a drink. Peppy sat down on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief. James noticed Lazslo's foray to the refrigerator.

"Hey," James said to Lazslo. "Don't make a mess, I still have to clean up." Laszlo nodded before sticking his head into the open fridge door. He rummaged through, and after a few moments of searching, finally discovered a bottle of juice at the back of the fridge. Grabbing it and plucking it from its icy hovel, Laszlo closed the fridge door. He opened the bottle, and gulped down its contents, finishing the drink in mere seconds. Laszlo put the empty bottle down on the kitchen counter and, now satisfied, stepped back into the living room. Bohdan walked around the room, carrying the young Fox. James continued to fix up the house's disheveled state. "So," James began, straightening some pictures on a cabinet in the living room. "What are you guys doing here?"

"What, we can't visit our old war buddy when the War's over?" Peppy asked. James chuckled.

"Of course you can," James replied. After finishing up, he received his son from Bohdan, and placed Fox on the couch next to Peppy. James then sat down in an armchair adjacent to the couch. "So, how are you all?"

"I'm just fine, Jimmy," Peppy said. He sat back on the couch. "My family back home's still doing well." James nodded.

"I'm doing good, too," Laszlo proclaimed. "My son is planning on marrying his high school sweetheart. Thank God the wedding bill's going to be split between the bride's parents and my wife and I!" All in the room laughed, including Fox, although he did not fully understand the joke.

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Awesome chapter. I like the edition of the other two people in James's strike team, Bohdan being my favorite. Keep it up.

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3: The Coin and The Casserole

"Hey, Roka," Laszlo said to Fox. Fox looked up to Laszlo in curiosity. Laszlo approached the couch, and then crouched down to Fox's eye height. "You want to see a very special coin?" Fox smiled, and nodded enthusiastically.

"What are you planning, Laszlo?" James asked.

"Nothing," Laszlo claimed. However, he grinned as he pulled out a silver coin from his pocket. Laszlo showed the coin to a mesmerized Fox, who stared at the coin with his wide eyes in awe. "This coin has been in my family for ten generations," said Laszlo. "From father to son, it's been handed down through the years, and now I have it." Laszlo turned the coin over from an image to the Imperial Magyar Fortress to the image of a long-dead Emperor of The Magyars: Istvan V. "This man, right here, was the Emperor of my people when my great-great grandfather was still alive." Laszlo pointed to the image of Istvan, whose regal presence was forever implanted into the coin. His image eternally gazed to the right of the coin. Laszlo then closed the fist where the coin was, and put down his arm. "I never let it leave my person." He then reopened his palm, only to discover that the coin was missing! Laszlo gasped, and quickly stood up. "Where's my coin?!" he exclaimed. His attention turned to James. "Did you take it?!" he asked bluntly, almost at a scream.

"I swear Laszlo, I didn't." James said, putting his hands up. Laszlo, somewhat satisfied with James's answer, then turned to Peppy.

"What about you?" he said. "You look very suspicious." Peppy cleared his throat.

"I did not take your coin, Laszlo," Peppy said. Laszlo scoffed, but believed the rabbit. Finally, he went to Bohdan, sitting quietly on a proportionally tiny ottoman. Laszlo pointed menacingly at the hooded dragon.

"You!!!" he growled. Laszlo approached Bohdan, with the Ruthenian shaking his head, chuckling. Laszlo then grabbed Bohdan's wide shoulders, with a fiery glare emblazoned in his eyes. "Where is it!?" he screamed. Bohdan sighed, then proceeded to smack Laszlo's skinny arms away from his shoulders, and stood up. His towering frame dwarfed Laszlo, who looked up in sheer terror. Bohdan had a cocky smile on his snout. Laszlo then turned back to the others in the room, and confidently said, "He doesn't have it." James, Peppy, and Fox laughed, while Bohdan sat back down. Laszlo was running out of suspects, and had only the small Fox left to interrogate. He slowly walked to Fox, and crouched down. He calmed down his nerves. "Roka," he said in a very soft voice. "Did you take my coin?"

"No, Uncle Laz," Fox answered honestly.

"Really?" Laszlo asked.

"I'm sure," Fox replied. Laszlo then tuned to Fox's left ear.

"Then, what is this?" Laszlo then reached around Fox's ear, and pulled the coin from what seemed like nowhere. Fox was utterly baffled, grasping the area behind his ear. His mouth was wide open. "Aha!" Laszlo yelled, triumphantly holding his coin up high in the air. Suddenly, he said "I am hungry."  He put the coin back in his pocket. Laszlo walked to the kitchen refrigerator, remembering that he saw a covered plastic container holding an as of yet unknown substance. Hypothesizing that it was some sort of food, Laszlo opened the door and took out the container. He struggled to open it, but it eventually acquiesced, revealing its strange contents. He curiously smelled it, and upon detecting no odious odor, put it in the microwave to reheat and consume it.

"Uh, Laszlo?" James said, turning to behind him while he was sitting in his armchair. He noticed Laszlo standing in the kitchen, waiting beside the microwave as it nuked the contents of the container. "What is that?"

"Some sh..." Laszlo began, but upon realizing Fox was still in the room, edited his words. "Some stuff I found in a plastic container with a dark-red lid." James then realized what Laszlo was heating.

"Laszlo, that's my mother-in-law's casserole." Laszlo, however, was unfazed by James's warning. After a few moments, the microwave was completed with its duties, and Laszlo plucked a piping-hot casserole from the microwave. He smelt a whiff of the casserole, and once again failed to detect any sickening scents. He opened a kitchen drawer, found a fork, and took it from its place. He then closed the drawer, placed the container onto the counter top, and dug the fork into the orange-red casserole. Laszlo placed the food in his mouth, and chewed it for a few moments. However, his face soon contorted into one that tasted an utterly disgusting food. He dropped the fork and dashed to the garbage bin, where he vomited the contents of both his mouth and his stomach into the bin. James, Peppy, Bohdan, and Fox all laughed at Laszlo's folly.

"Uncle Laz threw up!" Fox yelled, laughing. Laszlo, after spitting the remnants of his vomit from his mouth, closed the bin, and looked to the rest of the group still sitting in the living room. He sighed in relief.

"Now I'm even hungrier," Laszlo complained. James, rolling his eyes, stood up.

"Alright, you want food?" he asked. "Come on guys, we'll get food: all of us."

"Yay!" Fox and Laszlo yelled.

"Now, that's a plan," Peppy stated enthusiastically. Bohdan nodded in agreement.

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Heh, this is great so far. Loving it! :yes:

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