By The VGM Lover
A few days ago, I went to a gaming event in my college. I was excited to be there. But then, I saw Smash bros. and immediately decided to play because a friend was there. When I did, all the excitement I felt ground to a halt. The only thing I felt was frustration after only one loss, and uncontrollable urges just to win followed. I felt like I was the laughing stock of the battle, even though no one was really laughing at me; they just told me to calm down, or make it seem like I was just a f****** CPU fighter. After losing every single match in our battle, I sat alone near a table for more than hour, just moping away, looking as if I got wasted on beer (even though I don't drink, I was just f****** miserable the whole time.) What should have been the happiest day of my life turned out to be the complete opposite.
This isn't the first time I got frustrated over a few losses.
This frustration peaked its head throughout my childhood, but it became all too apparent when I began playing online in almost any competitive game, like the aforementioned Smash bros., Call of Duty, Ironfall, even AC: Black Flag had me smashing my head in anger, and all I can do is blame myself for my poor lack of skill (Even though I can get the job done in single player, I can almost never win in competitive matches; my Win Rate for Smash Bros. currently sits at 28%).
I think the source of my frustration is the fact that I pity myself every time I lose, and continue to kick myself until I win, and when I never win and I have to give up to avoid destroying something, I do nothing with a miserable look in my face for an extended period of time.
I'm asking because this has gone for too long, and it's severely impacting my personal life: What do I do?
So I decided to go back through some of my early posts.
Posts from when I joined the site.
Oh dear God.
From vacuous thoughts to indiscriminate immaturity, I was a different person four years ago. A significantly different person.
Recently I realized, or at least, re-realized, that this site, more than any other, has shaped me as a human being. I've learned to interact and converse with others without being a complete vacant dumbass. I've learned how to write cohesively and when to hold my tongue. I've learned how to be funny and how to enjoy humor from others, and while I'm still learning, I've come a long way.
I realize that this was a sort of socialization that I can't get elsewhere. Usually children are socialized entirely by their peers at school or their family, leading to a more closed-minded individual. However here, I get a variety of cultures and ideas that has helped to round me off as a more tolerant individual. SFO is a community of fresh minds and various age groups, which has led me to mature in a way that is unique from the standards of a cookie cutter society. SFO has helped me to come out of my shell and find who I am.
My interactions continued once I got on Steam, and while that alienates me from some of you Skype users, that's shaped me as well. Being able to enjoy a game night of intelligent people that just love to enjoy video games is great. You're all distinct individuals that I can recognize by voice. Some of you have become extremely close friends to me, people that I can trust and confide in. And it's weird to see just how far I am from that awkward mid-teenage individual that I was when I joined.
My learning experience will continue as I approach 3000 posts. 3000 moments that will have accumulated to shape my being. I was there when the site changed faces, I'll be here for years to come. This site isn't just about video games. It's about coming of age and becoming a great person. It's an escape from a sometimes rough reality.
TL;DR, I've learned a lot from you guys and I hope to continue to become a more culturally and emotionally literate human being. SFO is a home for me.
You guys are fantastic <3 sorry for beating it around the bush a little bit. It's difficult to get this general feeling of gratitude put into words.
I was just wondering how many of you are moving away from your parents' place this year. Living alone for the first time is tough, so I was going to make a thread for you who need help, which will include tips on saving money and cheap but tasty student recipes to keep you well fed and healthy.
Let me know what you want to see, and I'll type it. I've been living alone for 4 years now and I'm a total pro. :troll: