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Haldo, I'm new here. I've been lurking around for awhile, and decided to join today.

Some of you may know me from arwinglanding, IGN, or SF-HQ boards cuz' I have an accounts there. (And I think some dude named PuffNStuff has an account here, he gave me a review for my fan fic on fanfiction.net)

Anyway, I loike to post this franchise I've started called "Star Pig". I post it pretty much everywhere, 'cuz my site needs the marketing. Check it out if ya' have the time.  :mrgreen:

I'm posting the whole fic in one post to avoid post flood, so here we go:


Chapter One: Pshaw!

The great fox hummed quietly through space.

Piggy, who had been captain of the star fox team since before he was born, clicked the comm button on his desk, and ordered fox to bring him a cup o' tea.

"Cup! Cup! Cup o' tea!" he said.

"Yessir." said fox.

In 1/3 of an hour later, Fox had finally managed to bring the tea to his master.

"What took you so long?" Piggy demanded, he secretly got his blaster ready behind his back!

"The ship is so big, sir and--" fox started to say, but then he was blasted down by Piggy.

Piggy looked down at the dead fox and snorted in disgust.

"Pshaw! Never trust a fox!" he said, then he slammed the command button again and said "I'm taking over the ship! All hands, battle stations!!"


Chapter 2: Battle Stations

All was quiet on the great fox... Untilllll... TYRANOSAURAUSES IN SCORPIAN CLASS ATTACK CRUISERS!!  (I applaud my own genius!)

Piggy slammed the command button. "Why isn't anyone bring my cup o' tea?!" he shouted.

A voice came back through the receiver, "You've already had 7 cups, Mr. pig!"

Piggy roared and ripped the communicator right out of the dashboard. Then he sat and thought to himself.

What I need, he thought, is MONEY! Lots and lots of MONEY!!

The next second however, money was the last thing on his mind! For the door to the docking bay had opened, and Piggy, who had been sitting in the docking bay, was sucked out into space!!


Chapter 3: 2 years earlier...

Piggy was test flying in the academy with his best friend, James McCloud.

They were supposed to be working together in the simulation to navigate through an asteroid field, but as soon as Piggy saw his chance, he fired a nova bomb and blew James up.

Piggy sped out of the space debris, receiving a medal of honor, and passing the test flight with flying colors, but his best friend was dead and the world moved on...


Chapter 4: An Unexpected Turn

Piggy flew through space, blasting whole armadas with single shots from his laser.

"All squadrants, follow my command!" he crowed.

Just then, Piggy slammed his ship right into a hunk of space debris and was slammed against his control pannel, knocked out, COLD!!

When he woke up, he had been sleeping and 15 years had passed.


Chapter 5: Is there no other way?

Piggy hated the routine. Get up, eat, go to bed.

He grunted as Peppy shoved some battle plans over the desk.

"Is this it?" Piggy asked nonchalantly.

"Y-yes" the old hare said, but the words were barley out of his mouth when Piggy whipped out his blaster and shot him down!

Piggy shoved the frying corpse off the seat and took a look at the battle plans.

Not bad, he thought, not bad at all!


Chapter 6: The End of the Beginning?

Piggy glared at the troops before him.

"I have braught peace to my new empire!" he barked at them.

The soldiers applauded and Piggy swelled his chest with pride.

He held his hands up, signaling them to stop.

"This is not the end though, my friends. Oh no! Far from it! I plan on making a 100 chapter fan fic!" Piggy shrieked.

The soldiers wept tears of joy, Piggy readied his blaster behind his back, and then fired, slaughtering all those standing before him.


Chapter 7: War begins? War... ENDS!!

3 years later...

Piggy flew his arwing into the cover of a meteorite field.

Quickly, he switched off all the lights in the cockpit and waited expectently.

Sure enough-- his arch nemesis: Los Mucho appeared!!

Piggy quickly turned back on his ship and zoomed from his hiding space as fast as he could! He sped past Los Mucho, and the chase was on!

It's a one on one game of chicken! Piggy fastened his seatbelt, and did a barrel roll, hoping to throw off his persuer but had no such luck!

Los Mucho tryed to fake Piggy out with a sudden drop in altitude, but Piggy was too big and mean!

Los Mucho fired not one-- but two charged shots at piggy's left wing, smashing it right off!

Piggy went spinning out of control, about to crash into the planet (not a planet!)!

Through the blur of his spinning around, piggy saw Los Mucho laughing from inside his cockpit!

"Is this the end?!" he squealed.


Chapter: 8: File #247...

Piggy was standing on the bridge of the great fox, fingering his blaster and waiting for someone to step out of line.

Slippy coughed nervously, but before he could realize his costly mistake, Piggy had fired!

However, he accidentally missed Slippy and the blast smashed into Slippy's control panel- activating the self-distruct sequence!

Piggy's eyes grew wide with fear, and he ran for the exit, shoving other members of the team out of the way to save himself! As soon as Piggy was through the door, he turned around and locked it so no one else could get out.

Piggy heard pounding on the other side of the door but did not turn back.

Quickly, he dived into an escape pod and ejected!

Through the fog of his half unconsious mind, Piggy watched the great fox blow up seconds after his escape.  Piggy nodded off and went drifting out into the vast dark space... All was well.



Piggy watched the primitive tribe of weasle-warriors from a tree.

It was night, an the whole tribe was all sitting around a fire in a circle.

Piggy caught them all by surprise by jumping down from the tree and right in the middle of the circle.

"I am magic!" he shrieked.

The weasles were amazed, and the leader (cub-tub was his name) turned towards a very old weasle who had no teeth.

The old weasle nodded vigurously. "Yah! Yah! Pig big magic!"

The weasles hopped up and down yelling "big magic! big magic!"

But Piggy was gone!

While the primitive fools had been looking towards the elder for advice, Piggy had slipped away and now came from behind the tribe and jumped back into the center of the circle.

The weasles took this as magic too and were all hopping up and down. "Big magic!" they crowed.

Good! Thought piggy, Very good! Now that I have captured their attention, I can take control of the tribe and then kill them all!



"Come out! We know you're in there, Piggy!"

"Never!" Piggy shouted from his hiding place as he ripped the top off a gernade and chucked it in the direction of the voice.

He grinned in satisfaction as he heard the explosion followed by cries of terror.

"Come out, Piggy! Come out in the name of Jim Bridger!" the mayor called.

"Jim Bridger?" Piggy said to himself through gritted teeth. "Yeah, Jim Bridger and Kit Karson!"

"No use boys," said the Mayor from outside the bank. "We'll just have ta' smoke him out!"

Piggy noticed the smoke coming in through cracks in the wall.

He gasped and then whistled for his horse.

the noble steed, Chicadee-Beans, came galoping up!

Piggy hopped on, fired at the wall with his aperture portal gun, and was off in a second! Trotting off into the sunset, Piggy turned back in the saddle and saw the villadgers watching him leave. He called back,

"Don't worry! We'll all meet again in star-pig 2: the search for more money!"

And then he was off!


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So in your version of Star Fox, a pig is the team captain. Interesting.


Heh, yeah.  :shock: Say-- you're the writer of "Fox Becomes Addicted to Cheese"! Lol that was the best fan fic I ever read. You should do a sequal or something.  :ok:

Funny as always.

Shanks, wolfy!  :D

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