Jump to content

Dark Shift (long, Profanity)


Dark Fox

Do you like it!  

2 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you like it!



Recommended Posts

Okay, This is Dark Shift (yes, RL, I DO have the guts to show it)

I statted making this when I found this forum....

I'll post the html version. everyone will be able to open ti, I think

This is a story that was inspired by a comment my brother made, when I showed him a page I had saved (Krystal Ray)

He asked "what would you do if you just ened up in starfox, Rusty?"

I had to sleep on it, and still could not give him a decent answer, at least one that was honest.

this is a story of me if I got dropped into starfox.....(and had enuogh money for an airplane :D ) Seveeral other things from this demension are also pulled in, inculding a humvee, some guns, and random other thins (funny don't mention it part that I have not written yet :shock::shock: ). Of course it can't be a fanfic without a crisis, which hasn't relly developed yet, but starts just after this copy ends...abruptley (sorry, it is a rough draft, and I didn't post the right one, also, it wasn't relly desigen to be segemented.

This is also where my fanchar "Ember" comes from....(you love the first meeting. classic "you've gatta be kidding me!" stuff)

new link

I would just stick it her, but it's eighteen pages long in word, and the server trew a wrench, when I tried.

Hope you enjoy........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Eclipsed Phoenix

rusty, my dear brother,you know i think your book is sexy..ol...just kidding...but in all seriousness, i thinkyou are doing agreat job, and thats from an authors opinion. you know of the book/short stories that i have written. hell you need to make this one publishable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Eclipsed Phoenix

acctually you can, you just need to get nintendos permission, trust m they will give it, as they are desperate for good solid media that makes them lookgood, no offence intended

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It says it's a download... I can't download anything on this computer... it's my friends, as soon as I get back to my Dad's, I'll take a look at it, that'll be in about 1 week, I'm sure it's awesome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's acctually not, really, but you can find a floppy disk and use "save target as"

and it's decent, not awsome...... :cry:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...

OK, Majior update, it has grown from 12 to almost thirty pages, and ya finally meet the SF team, I will get the newer version up in a few days.

RougeLeader is being kind enough to act as proofreader/tech advisor for some Earth tech things (like not being able to esaily fire a single shot with an M60)

I can finally get into the arwing parts as I have just played assult for the first time....YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More shall come.

OK, would it be easier if I broke it up into chapters?

Edit

since scool is out for the summer, I will have more time for this thing

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yep, 404'd on the download.

I can tell you I'm not looking forward to reading this, however. Given your description, I'm expecting one big lump of Mary Sue. If you get the file working properly again, we shall see.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yea, that is why it has been taking so freaking long, I am trying to fix this.

it is really not that bad, but.......

....it needs tweaks.

(some parts are acctually Intended to give that impression for the sake of humor, but I may remove most of this.....Any sugestions? I have an alternate version)

Story of alternate version:

Human male (Myself) gets dropped into lylat (somewhere other than corneria), and steals a brand- new Venom crusier........by accident (I LOVE Pushing buttons). Corneria sends the Starfox team to hunt him down, so that Venom won't go to war again. He has no gus he knows how to use, no fighters, and the best Mercs out there are going to to arrest (or kill O_o) him.

This version would acctually be better, I think, but it would suck to rewrite the Whole thing (plus it would have a Krystal beatup sene that might be bad, and the SF team viewed as bad guys :? )..........nothing would get handed to him, save for the ship...and an allly.

It would be no fun to Croak in the end ethier

new link

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Eclipsed Phoenix

trust me guys, its going along nicly....little mary sue, but have you ever noticed that Star Fox is mary sued really bad?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes, he dose (he is being gracious to me), but in case he forgot, a char that walks in, busts up the place, and steals the girl without breaking a sweat. everyone likes him/her.and the list of no-no's goes on.....truthis, it is very easy to do thet, and I was trying to make a more believeable storyline to base a charicter version on.......as I realized (with some amount of disgust) that I had blown myself way out of proportions.......A N00B mistake.

ethier premise itself could be made realisitc, but I probibly lack the skills to do so....

(The Starfox team DEFINE Mary sue in and of themselves, 4 fighters agenst an entire army.....yep, thus this complicates it furthur)

oh....a WORKING LINK to the old one:

new link

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, the Mary Sue is more the unstoppably awesome character who is meant to represent the author. That's why Star Fox doesn't fit. I just don't see Shigeru Miyamoto going around thinking he's Fox.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just don't see Shigeru Miyamoto going around thinking he's Fox.

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Oh yeah, the first version smacks that allright!

oh, I didn't think about that, didn't know that matterd...(do write professionally, or somthing, you seem to know alot about this sort of thing)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Professionally"? No. Only for lack of trying.

I've got 5+ years of college English under my belt. And a superpower that involves grammar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^^^ lol oh, teh critique. Oh DF, I read your fanfic and yeah, I liked it, some minor spelling errors but yeah, it was good. Just one question, are you still writing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes........I am (just dumped what I had onto that server)

must've for got the holy Spellcheck ritual

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oooohhh great, I'm really enjoying the story, eagerly awaiting your next chapter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Progress is delayed for the moment due to The Power Supply Failure of Death! But it IS still moving along....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...
×
×
  • Create New...