ITT: Milky tells about why he is a furry despite popular opinion

[Milkyway64]

So it has come to my attention (again) that a lot of ladies and gents here see me as a problem. The main demographic for this are the resident furries, who feel I am antifur or bigotted. Not the case, I as a matter of fact am very furry, it's just I'm a weird one. The first thing to note is that I am a gentleman first, furry second. The manly code of the refined man heavily conflicts with the norms of the furry fandom. Putting it simply, the way furries act is way too primal for the polite, reserved guy. It's a blight on the ideal society I stand to uphold, so yiff, loose yiff roleplays, and the corruption of what could be likeable, decent anthro people triggers a fight reflex that I take seriously. This is not to say the two cannot co exist, though, it's just no one really cares.

Secondly, because I was not born a furry, I was made, much in the same way as I was not born gentlemanly either. A few years ago, when I was maybe... 15? I stumbled across a website called fanfiction.net. It was temporarily awesome and caught my attention for the better part of a week. I was all over all the franchises I knew and yes, StarFox was here. There was a particularly bad fanfic that served as the catalyst for my furriness. It was very adult, dealing in dark things like sick violence and physical and mental torture. Krystal, being in the center, instantly grabbed at my good nature and- well, let me just cut to the chase. The fic had a somewhat hidden message in it. It told me to fly to Nevada and investigate area 51. Through some clever convincing, I set up a family flight to the state for a vacation, where I staged a fake kidnapping to get some alone time to search. My quest was halted by tight security, however, but that meant little. I found something odd on the outskirts as I searched for some way to sneak in Solid Snake style. It was a golden... lamp thing. Like straight out of Aladdin. I snuck it back home (or as close as I had in Nevada) and told the epic (fake) tale of how I got free of my kidnappers and saw them brought to justice.

It was time for phase two of my transformation. I sat in my room alone, looking at the lamp. I was compelled to touch it, although my gut told me not to. Truly a strange sensation but the former side won. My fingers glazed over it's shiny, metallic surface, again and again. As I did, I noticed the world around me distorting. Oddly enough, it seemed normal to me at the time, I really didn't think anything odd of my furniture morphing to new, unfamiliar objects, and the lighting dimming to a pale black-light effect. I was awoken from my trance when the demon itself showed it's face, or rather two torso-sized eyes.

"Whom is my new master...?" it asked in a disturbingly submissive undertone for it's rumbling, smelly voice. I was perfectly content with whimpering like a baby, but like a puppet, my body and speech came out clear and confident, without my consent. "It does not concern you, foul one. You will serve your purpose and disappear back to the hell you came from!"

"What do you require of me...?" it trailed back, taking the insults well. "You will birth the army. Bring forth the one in my heart, make her real, make her obedient. She shall be the beginning of a new order."

"...Yeeesssssss...." And, then, the darkness bled into the fearsome red eyes, overtaking it like rapidly growing plant roots. The remaining fractions of the eyes liquefied and merged with the darkness, beginning to take a visible form and color. I recognized it as Krystal from the StarFox series and fic I read. I also realized my body was my own once more, and I had some damned questions to ask.

"Okay, what the HELL is going on?" I barked at Krystal's unconscious figure. She responded about as well as an unconscious figure can; standing up awkwardly and staring like she doesn't know what the ****. Then came the part where she approached me in the same creepy, confused manner. I forget exactly why, but I ended up running away into the infinite darkness, never ever losing her or gaining ground despite me sprinting versus her leisurely stroll. She finally caught up and touched me, waking me from the lamp realm back to my room. Krystal was present and sitting on my bed casually, and just then my mom walked in asking about dinner. She nodded to the anthropomorphic MONSTER too comfortably, as if she was a common guest, and left. I figured now was as good a time as any.

"Hi?" I said to her. "Hello" she replies, dressed in modern street clothes. "Dear."

Dear? I don't even know what's going on and she's sweet talking me?! Alright, I gave up. Real life doesn't work this way, heck, FANTASY doesn't work this way. Something was seriously up. Okay, so like a week passes and Krystal the entire time is totally trying to seduce me, not a single time getting the hint that I was totally clueless on why she thought we were engaged or something, and finally the interesting part happens. We're all having dinner, she's not giving me my space (I kinda need that hand to eat, let go of it you clingy broad) and suddenly BAM BEAR OUT OF NOWHERE.

The entire table just scrambles at this point. Every man for himself, except me. Krystal stayed hot on my heels and insisted on cramming herself in the same closet I chose to hide in.

"Dude, seriously, get off me!" I whispered harshly, noting the door would not shut all the way with her present. "No, I love you! We have so much to do!"

"Oh please... You're... not even human." I retort. "What could you possibly need with me?"

"We have a world to rule, with our children." She said this as if it were the most normal goal in the world. The bear catches onto our hiding place, unfortunately, nosing the door open. It drags her out painfully. "And if we can't have it, no one can." she continues, oblivious to the grisly freakin wounds being inflicted on her. Oddly- well, I guess not given the nature of this story, I knew that if she died some disaster was going to happen. An uprising of sorts by furries? An answer came to mind in a voice that wasn't the one I usually "hear" my thoughts in.

"Become a furry, it's the only way..."

"WHAT?" I yelled back.

"You must become a knight amongst them to stop the Apocalypse..."

"But I don't wanna be a furry!" I whimpered.

"Do it, you'll save everyone, including her." I considered it a moment, glancing at Krystal, whom was amazingly unphased by the bear'ing she was getting. "Well?"

"Fine! Fine, I'll do it!"

The bear disappeared. Or rather, dissolved into a dark matter that spread over every surface. Krystal did much the same, but into the red eyes from before. It whispered. "Fool..."

It just had hit me that this deity was the embodiment of the furry fandom, and for some reason it put me through ALL THIS just so it could claim my soul into it's ranks. Sick sense of humor there, says I. It blew away in a strange wind, leaving me at peace, and alone, in my cramped hiding space, door once again shut. Reflecting over everything, and motivated myself to move, taking my first glorious step out of the closet.

And now here I am. My soul belongs forever in the dark, corrupting hands of the furry fandom. Moral of the story, stay away from shady fics, DON'T go near area 51, and above all, do a barrel roll next time an entity tries to steal your soul through a hollow empty anthro shell in attempts to convert you and add to their army.

[Guest Julius Quasar]

At least you're not like Zicka.  He was once a furry, now he hates them.  That stupid hypocrite...

[Sabre]

So you're an elitist, believing you are more 'gentlemanly' then the rest.

[Milkyway64]

So you're an elitist, believing you are more 'gentlemanly' then the rest.

Exxxactly! *tips hat*

[Sabre]

Enjoy your delusion.

[Milkyway64]

Wait, THAT'S a delusion as opposed to the rest of this topic?

["User"]

Wait, THAT'S a delusion as opposed to the rest of this topic?

Secondly, because I was not born a furry, I was made, much in the same way as I was not born gentlemanly either. A few years ago, when I was maybe... 15? I stumbled across a website called fanfiction.net. It was temporarily awesome and caught my attention for the better part of a week. I was all over all the franchises I knew and yes, StarFox was here. There was a particularly bad fanfic that served as the catalyst for my furriness. It was very adult, dealing in dark things like sick violence and physical and mental torture. Krystal, being in the center, instantly grabbed at my good nature and- well, let me just cut to the chase.

We both know that this is the only part of your story which is actually true and the rest is just a big hoax.   Why don't you tell us EVERYTHING truthfully next time? :P

[Hatsworth III]

if you are a gentleman first and a furry second, you could be both at the same time, like a gentlefurry or something....

[Redeemer]

Lmao, oh you guys. *ruffles everyone's hair*

That made me smile, Milkshake, and while most of it was made up, it was nice of you to share what actually turned you furry.

and while Milkshake is very gentlemanly, I also think Sabre is a gentleman too. Most people here, actually, are very polite, there are only a few rude individuals. :3

["User"]

Lmao, oh you guys. *ruffles everyone's hair*

That made me smile, Milkshake, and while most of it was made up, it was nice of you to share what actually turned you furry.

and while Milkshake is very gentlemanly, I also think Sabre is a gentleman too. Most people here, actually, are very polite, there are only a few rude individuals. :3

Milkshake!! :P

[Kursed]

Lmao, oh you guys. *ruffles everyone's hair*

That made me smile, Milkshake, and while most of it was made up, it was nice of you to share what actually turned you furry.

and while Milkshake is very gentlemanly, I also think Sabre is a gentleman too. Most people here, actually, are very polite, there are only a few rude individuals. :3

I do hope I'm not one of the rude ones.

[Mr. Krystal]

First two paragraphs - "Yeah, I remember you telling me that. This is a serious topic."

Rest of the paragraphs - "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaat?!"

[Scott7]

So thats you were planning last night...  :facepalm:

[Milkyway64]

We both know that this is the only part of your story which is actually true and the rest is just a big hoax.   Why don't you tell us EVERYTHING truthfully next time?

Because the truth does not cure boredom.

Lmao, oh you guys. *ruffles everyone's hair*

That made me smile, Milkshake, and while most of it was made up, it was nice of you to share what actually turned you furry.

and while Milkshake is very gentlemanly, I also think Sabre is a gentleman too. Most people here, actually, are very polite, there are only a few rude individuals. :3

Mm hm.

if you are a gentleman first and a furry second, you could be both at the same time, like a gentlefurry or something....

And that is what I do. Unless, of course, boredom calls to do something evil, like lie about how much the fandom disgusts me in- oh, wait, wait... That bit is true to some extent too.

First two paragraphs - "Yeah, I remember you telling me that. This is a serious topic."

Rest of the paragraphs - "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaat?!"

[Samantha Weltzin]

A good fanfiction, and Krystal was portrayed fairly accurately. The delving into the main character's psyche was a nice touch not often seen in furry writing. However, the shameless self-insertion is a mistake many amateur writers make, so I'm going to have to take off for that.

4/5

[Milkyway64]

A good fanfiction, and Krystal was portrayed fairly accurately. The delving into the main character's psyche was a nice touch not often seen in furry writing. However, the shameless self-insertion is a mistake many amateur writers make, so I'm going to have to take off for that.

4/5

But it ain't fiction! It's trooff! *pout*

[Samantha Weltzin]

But it ain't fiction! It's trooff! *pout*

You're getting off-topic. Quick! Mods! Lock this!

["User"]

Because the truth does not cure boredom.

Maybe not for sure but the truth would actually be quite entertaining to all of us I can tell you that much.  And I'm personally more entertained at "interesting" true stories than ones that rely on fantasy - I hear enough of that kind of stuff as it is.

[Robert Monroe]

[Redeemer]

I do hope I'm not one of the rude ones.

Don't worry, my post wasn't directed at anyone in particular, every forum has its rude few.

And Robert, LOL. :D

[SPEAKERnight.]

YES.

[Guest DRL]

More furry drama.

To be honest, yes, when

you first came here, I thought

you were an anti-furry.

You said something along the

lines of "[...]I've been using it

to blast furries since[...]" or

like that.

["User"]

More furry drama.

To be honest, yes, when

you first came here, I thought

you were an anti-furry.

You said something along the

lines of "[...]I've been using it

to blast furries since[...]" or

like that.

It's not uncommon for people to be furry while still poking fun or "blasting" their own subculture - especially the most bizarre "f*cked up" aspects of it - and believe me there's a LOT of that in 21th century furrydom.

[Guest DRL]

It's not uncommon for people to be furry while still poking fun or "blasting" their own subculture - especially the most bizarre "f*cked up" aspects of it - and believe me there's a LOT of that in 21th century furrydom.

Now, that barely makes sense.

let's say that is ok.

[Milkyway64]

Now, that barely makes sense.

let's say that is ok.

It makes perfect sense. Your people are pushing aspects  not your own onto you through your association to them.