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Of Jarheads, Spoonheads, and Foxheads (Star Trek/StarCraft/Star Fox Crossover)

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Warning: This fic is NOT for children.  Contains violence, blood, gore, foul language, psychic torture, and some drug use, although it's not promoting the use of drugs, but merely using some native to one of the franchises used here.

Prologue: For seventy years, the United Earth Directorate and the Cardassian Union had fought on-and-off.  The death toll of these horrifying conflicts exceeded three billion millitary deaths, ten billion civillian deaths, and the near-destruction of the planet Bajor's biosphere.  On the eve of what would be the Sixth War, however, something different happened.  The inhabitants of a small, until then unnoticed planet would rise to power, and set in motion a chain of events that would forever alter the face of the galaxy.  Heroes would rise, old ways would crumble, and legends would be born.

This is the story of how that happened.

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Chapter One

March 17th, 2516.  Cardassian warship Zuvarek.  Just outside the Sarpedion system.

"Any changes?"  Gul Tret Morke'el asked the young science officer at the back of the room.  The young woman shook her head.

"No sir.  I'm reading no indication of any monitoring.  It seems as if we're in the clear from both our own monitoring systems and the UED's."  Gilora Rozar said.  Tret nodded.  Ever since the UED had shocked the Cardassians silly with the use of iron-fusion missiles, the Central Command had pushed for the development of new weapons to counter these miniature supernovae.  After nearly two years of research and development, Cardassian scientists had eventually stumbled across a way to harness the mysterious particle known as the tetryon, and use it as a weapon.  The Zuvarek's job out here was to work out the kinks in the tetryon cannon design.  Every time they thought they got it right, one more structural flaw showed up.  An out-of-allignment magnetic barrel one day, an overheated particle emmitter the next, UED monitoring, and a very cranky engineering team all made for a miserable time testing this weapon.  But if the science and engineering teams were right, now would be the time that things would go right.

"Very well then."  Tret said.  "Gilora, what are the properties of that asteroid?"

"Nickel-iron composition.  Five kilometers in diameter." 

"Tactical!  Target that asteroid with the tetryon cannons and fire on my mark."

"Aye sir!"  The man at the tactical console replied, as he locked the targeting scanners on the lump of metal floating before them.

"Three... two... one... MARK!"

In an instant, two sapphire beams lept from the Zuvarek's frontal weapons array, impacting the asteroid.  Almost instantaneously, the great mass of nickel and iron cracked open, spewing molten metal and plasma into the inky coldness of space.  Half a second after that, the asteroid flew apart in a colossal explosion, leaving debris no larger than a van flying through space.  Cheers came from the Zuvarek's bridge crew.

"Well, now that that's done with, we should report back to Cardassia.  But before that, why not celebrate?  The mess ahll is open, and we've got a shipment of some of the best kanar brewed this century.  2408.  Very good year, if I'm not mistaken."  Tret said.  The rest of the crew grinned.

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Chapter Two

Two hours later...

Tret watched as the last of the crew left the mess hall, giddy and slightly intoxicated.  Today was a good day for not only Tret and his crew, but for all of Cardassia as well.  The tetryon's potential had been unleashed, with magnificent and devastating results, if the shattered remains of that asteroid were any indication.  The Zuvarek was currently en route to Cardassia Prime itself, to present the results of this find to the Central Command and Detapa Council.  Without a doubt, this new weapon would level the playing field, and possibly give Cardassia an advantage over Earth, as these weapons simply needed time to recharge, as opposed to the iron-fusion nukes.  Tret sighed, and began heading back to his quarters, when a message came through.

"Gul Morke'el?"  Gilora asked.  "Private message for you, sir.  Straight from the Central Command."

Well, speak of the devil...  Tret thought.  "Patch it through to my quarters, I'll be there in a minute."

"Aye sir."

Tret smiled as he walked into the turbolift.  The timing of their call could not have better, unless the UED had seen the test and fled in fear.  Tret walked out of the turbolift, and for a few feet before coming into his quarters.  Sitting down in his chair, he flipped open the computer on his dsk, only to reveal the face of Legate Tekheny Ghemor himslef looking at him.  Tret nearly jumped back in surprise.

"Legate!"  he said with a mix of surprise and respect.  "You'll be happy to know that the tetryon cannon was a success, and that we're retur-"

"While that's good to hear, Morke'el,  that's not why I called."  Ghemor interrupted.

"Oh.  Then why?"

"I've come to inform you that your ship is scheduled to rendezvous with the UED battlecruiser Leonidas at Mektal V.  There's been an incident that concerns both us and the Directorate.  It seems that the research stations on Emnar VII were attacked this morning by unknown forces."  Tret remembered Emnar, how it was settled by both humans and Cardassians as one of the conditions of the treaty signed at the end of the Fifth War.  It had always been a powder-keg planet, and this recent turn of events certainly wasn't helping.

"Terrorists?"  Tret asked.

"From what we can tell, no.  Whoever it was did a very thorough job at removing personnel.  At both bases, not a single soul was found, and the body count was much lower than the bases' compliment,  which points to capture.  Plus, even on a volatile planet like that, one base should have been left intact, if the group actually wanted to start a war."

"Natives, then."

"The precise reason that planet was chosen was the lack of natives.  Remember what happened to Bajor?"

"So, who was it, then?"

"That's what we're currently trying to find out."

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Chapter Three

Colonel Rick Thompson quietly sat on his bunk in the darkened room, the only light being the red-orange glow from the cigarette he currently held between his teeth.  Thompson liked his quarters dark and silent, if only for the fact that it helped him concentrate on the thoughts of the crew of the vessel.  One of the many advantages of being in the Ghost program.  While examining the crew's thoughts, he heard the distinct beep of the ship's intercom system.

"Colonel Thompson?"  A masculine voice asked.  "The Admiral would like to see you now."

"About damn time.  Be up in a sec."  Thompson said.  He flicked out his cigarette and stepped on it, extinguishing it, before opening the door, and stepping out into the light of the hallway.  At first, he squinted, his eyes taking some time to get used to the light.  After his eyes had adjusted, he found the turbolift and got in, ready to face the Admiral.

Stepping onto the bridge, Thompson found himself face-to-face with none other than Admiral Gerard DuGalle, one of Earth's greatest millitary heroes, and veteran of the Fourth and Fifth Wars.  The admiral turned to face him, holding a ruby port in each hand.

"Ah, Richard."  DuGalle began.  "I take it you know why you've been called for this mission?"

"Well, the way I see it, there are three reasons.  The first, is that I'm here to find out what destroyed those bases.  The second is that the mission is going to be dangerous.  The third is some reason you know, and are about to tell me."  Thompson said, with a smirk on his face.  A smirk likewise shared by DuGalle, who offered him one of the ports, which he accepted.  The only reasons Thompson didn't know the third part were that he hadn't been told, and that it was agianst UED law (and Ghost training procedures), for a Ghost to read the mind of a superior officer, unless said officer was behaving erratically.

"You are here to keep an eye on our Cardassian partners in this mission.  If they try anything funny, you are aurthorized to... correct... such errors in behavior."  Thompson smiled.

"So, when do the Cardies show up?"

"Any minute now, Richard.  Any minute now."  Said DuGalle as he turned to face the inky starry sky.

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Chapter Four

"Dropping out of warp in three... two... one."  the Zuvarek's helmsman said, as he returned the warship to sublight speeds.  The image of the starfield that was indicative of warp speeds was replaced by the green, brown, and blue sphere that was Mektal V, with the gunmetal grey battlecruiser Leonidas floating in low orbit above it.  An impressive sight by any means.

"Sir, we're being contacted by the Leonidas."  Gilora said.

"Onscreen."  With that, the image of a human male in his early sixties appeared onscreen.  Tret could see from his uniform that this man was an admiral, but not just any admiral.  Tret had seen this man's face in history books concerning the Fourth and Fifth Wars.  The human man onscreen was none other than Admiral Gerard DuGalle, the UED's most decorated admiral.  Damn.  DuGalle himself?  This MUST be important for the Directorate to send him out here for this mission.

"Greetings, Gul Morke'el.  I am sure you know of the situation on Emnar VII."  DuGalle said.

"Only the basics.  Bases obliterated by an unknown enemy.  No one left at the bases to tell the tale."  DuGalle nodded at Tret's statement.  "There's more, isn't there?"

"Yes.  Apparently, whoever destroyed the bases not only took prisoners, but is still on the planet.  The sensor probes sent to investigate were both attacked and destroyed by who we can only presume were the original attackers.  Before the probes were destroyed, they recorded this:"  DuGalle stepped back, and footage from both the Cardassian and UED probes played, showing footprints in the dried mud, some of which were clearly the ones left by the boots of the scientists and security personnel, while the ones on either side of them were of the unknown attackers.  At roughly the same time, the sensors on both probes detected movement, along with the sound of tree branches snapping.  As they turned their cameras to the nearby forest, two energy pulses flew at the probes from between the trees, and a split-second later, the footage was replaced by static.

"So, that's it?"  Tret asked.  DuGalle nodded.  "And I've been called here for what, search and rescue?"

"And a bit more."  A much gruffer voice said, seemingly from nowhere.  The bridge crew of the Zuvarek watched as a man suddenly appeared in front of their eyes.  "Search and rescue, yes, but also to retrieve the attackers and bring them to justice for Crimes Against Earth."  The man paused.  "And Cardassia as well."  He said with a laugh.

"Gul, I would like to introduce you to Colonel Richard Thompson.  You're partner in leading this mission."  DuGalle said.  Tret and Thompson looked at each other for a second, and then nodded, each man acknowledging the other.  "He will lead our forces in the mission, as you will lead your people's.  We will depart for Emnar within the hour.  DuGalle out."  And with that, the image on the viewscreen was replaced by that of Mektal V and the Leonidas.  Tret could only stare in disbelief at what he had seen.

"A Ghost.  They're sending a frikkin' Ghost with me for this mission."  he said.

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Chapter Five

Emnar VII, Same Time

Darkness rapidly filled the forest as the twin suns set behind the Kranto'y Montains, plunging the area into night.  Deep within the forest, however, lights flickered on in abundance, but not lights of any organisms that inhabited this planet.  Or organisms of any planet for that matter, as they were thoroughly artificial, being made by visitors to this world.

Priestess Azore watched as the aliens sat around their campfires, quietly simmering with resentment at both their current situation and their captors.  While at first glance the two races looked nearly identical, she eventually learned the differences between the two.

The first, the ones without scales on their necks and ridges along their eye sockets called themselves "humans", and were as dumbfounded as they were angered.  One had said that they'd "been captured by blue fox furries", which prompted laughter from some other humans, rolled eyes by others, and looks of confusion from her own forces.  The humans had been the easier of the two races to read telepathically, but just because someone was easy to read, didn't mean you liked what they were thinking.  Tossing aside trivial thoughts, they had found that the humans came from a pseudo-democratic militaristic socialist society, one named the "United Earth Directorate", an arrogant and xenophobic state, one that had long fought with the other race that the prisoners belonged to, the Cardassians.

The Cardassians were very much like humans in appearance, but certain distinguishing features soon became noticeable, namely the reptillian scales along their eye sockets and necks, as well as the spoon-shaped imprint on their forheads.  The Cardassians were harder to read than humans, mainly because their minds were so disciplined.  From what they learned, Cardassian society resembled human society very closely.  Militaristic, expansionistic, arrogant, and xenophobic.  But while human society at least had the pretense of being a democracy, the Cardassians made no effort to hide their fascistic government.  Apparently, humans and Cardassians had fought five vicious interstellar wars against each other in the last seventy years.  No wonder they had gotten so infuriated when some of her troops made the mistake of mixing up their species.

The young priestess could only sigh as she saw these two groups of aliens sitting around the campfires in the middle of her base camp on this planet.  The fact that these aliens had the audacity to set foot on one of the holiest planets in the galaxy was seen by some as a prank pulled by the gods, or proof that demons had made their way into the mortal universe.  Whatever the case, just by being here, these aliens were blaspheming.

"Priestess?"  A masculine voice asked.  Azore nearly jumped with surprise as she turned to face Lieutenant Tolomar, her second-in-command for this mission.  She had been so focused on the aliens she hadn't sensed him arrive.  "What are we to do with these aliens, once we return to Cerinia?"  Azore let out another sigh.  She knew that it would eventually come to this, she just wasn't sure what to do in this situation.  No matter what they would have done, it just would seem wrong.  On the one hand, these aliens likely knew nothing of the gods, and made an innocent mistake by coming to this system.  On the other hand, heretics and blasphemers must be punished.  She eventually told him the only option left.

"We will take them with us, and present them to the Emperor and the Ecclesiarchy.  They will decide the aliens' guilt or innocence.  And if guilty, their fate as well."  Tolomar nodded at Azore's statement, and then turned and left.

Tonight was not going to be an easy night.  Not at all.

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