Gene Inari Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 An age old question of the internet: What is your opinion of long distance relationships? As for my thoughts, well, I've lived a long distance relationship for five years. I firmly believe they are doable. In fact, the reason I am no longer in said relationship, distance was on the far bottom on the list of reasons and I am still a good friend of my ex. :3 I'd like to know SF-O's thoughts on this kind of relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Yoshi Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 My honest opinion would have to be that long distance distance relationships don't mean much until you actually meet up with your lover irl, or perhaps through a webcam (preferably in person). You can't truly get to know someone until you actually touch their hand. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asper Sarnoff Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 14 days left till I've been a full year in a long distance relationship. I belive they are definatively workable if both parties are comitted enough to it, and working toward the common goal of moving together.Spent two weeks around christmas together with her, she'll spend three this summer with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redeemer Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hmm. This is tricky. I myself have never been in one, therefore I don't really know how to do one. My little sister is engaged to a guy in Canada (we're in Scotland) and... sometimes I can't get my head around it. But I believe that's more because of "That's my little sister you want to do dirty stuff with and as long as I'm around she will remain innocent, you son of a f-" ahem. She's 17, he's 19 but I think he's very near 20. I'm unsure when his birthday is. He's a nice guy, pretty damn funny too, but he's interested in my sister and therefore I will always rageface. My honest opinion would have to be that long distance distance relationships don't mean much until you actually meet up with your lover irl, or perhaps through a webcam (preferably in person). You can't truly get to know someone until you actually touch their hand. I agree with most of this besides the "not meaning much until they meet" part. In my opinion, if you give your heart to someone, that means something. But I'm a girl, so I was bound to come out with that crap. XD But putting my little sister aside... I don't see anything wrong with them, as long as they're based on true feelings and not camsex. And of course, there's the issue of trust. But if both people trust each other and genuinely want to be together in the future, I'll give them my blessing. Unless they're my sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Yoshi Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 I agree with most of this besides the "not meaning much until they meet" part. In my opinion, if you give your heart to someone, that means something. But I'm a girl, so I was bound to come out with that crap. XD Perhaps a better wording would be, long distance relationships aren't complete until you actually meet up with your lover irl. *shrugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redeemer Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Perhaps a better wording would be, long distance relationships aren't complete until you actually meet up with your lover irl. *shrugs* Hmm, I guess so. What you said was still pretty thoughful, so... *tips hat* :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Yoshi Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hmm, I guess so. What you said was still pretty thoughful, so... *tips hat* *Bows* Tbh, I never really had a long distance relationship before. So...maybe I shouldn't even be talking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarita Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 *poster child for long distance relationships* Steve and I have been together for 4 years as of April 10th. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluxy Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Well, I guess most of it has really already have been said, so I'll just add a penny or two. It's not truly if Online relationships are a good/bad thing, per se. It all depends on the people in them, and their threshold for handling stress and sometimes an overwhelming feeling when they can't be with the other in person. So long as both are mentally and emotionally strong to some degree, I think it is entirely possible it to work. *Shrug* I just personally don't think they are the type for me, but by all means, that doesn't mean they are bad in any way, just means I am not too stable enough for a really long time without even seeing them in person really. It all has to do with factors in the end, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmony Descent Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 To be quite honest, I don't believe in long distance relationships. That being because like what everyone has said. But, my main reason is that I would hardly get to see them and it's quite pointless in doing. I mean, sure, it's ok to have one and be together for a food while, but what I'm getting at is WHY. WHY would you want to date someone that is either overseas, a country away (think that's the same thing, but whatever), only see them every once or so, and/or knowing that's the real person you're talking to? I know some of you will disagree with this by reinstating what the others said above, but I'm just trying to get that I'm against it; no offense given to anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluxy Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 No offense given at all, Harmony, but it would be -best- to read others posts a little. I already covered the -why-. People aren't truly against long distance relationships, they simple are not made out for them, because they can't handle. You are just not one of those people. Others can find an attraction/love with someone online, and take Fira and Asper for example. Asper is overseas many a time, but Fira accepts that, because she loves him and their relationship can handle it. You can't explain love also, Harmony. Sometimes it just lets you feel certain ways, and no one will know why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asper Sarnoff Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 To be quite honest, I don't believe in long distance relationships. That being because like what everyone has said. But, my main reason is that I would hardly get to see them and it's quite pointless in doing. I mean, sure, it's ok to have one and be together for a food while, but what I'm getting at is WHY. WHY would you want to date someone that is either overseas, a country away (think that's the same thing, but whatever), only see them every once or so, and/or knowing that's the real person you're talking to? I know some of you will disagree with this by reinstating what the others said above, but I'm just trying to get that I'm against it; no offense given to anyone. Instead, WHY would you be with someone you don't truly love? I've yet to find someone I'd want to be in a relationship more than with Fira. By a long shot. I'm not going to let something as trivial as the Atlantic ocean get in my way when I've set my sights on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gene Inari Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Here's another question, how far would you consider long distance? How far do you think it takes for distance to become a notable obstacle to a close relationship? My first relationship, I forget the distance, was a 14 hour car drive. For those in the 'States, From Illinois to Texas. I've had two other chances for relationships, but decided to not to go through with it because the distance was a hassle. Second one was a girl in New Mexico, a fair bit farther from I am in Illinois, so that was an obvious no-go that we mutually agreed on. The third one was from Wisconsin, a lot closer, relatively speaking. And this is where things get muddy. An older uncle of mine had a similar relationship, roughly the same distance with someone from Michigan. Bit of a drive, but definitely doable by car for, say, a weekend stay or so. So distance was a relatively minor and easily surmountable obstacle in this relationship until they moved in together. I was more than willing to make the effort to drive back and forth, to and from Wisconsin for this girl, but she felt the distance would be too much of a burden for her to take, and that was that. But to reiterate, how far would you consider distance a definite or indefinite obstacle; what's your "range?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Long distance relationships require more than just "love" to stand. You need money, and I mean it, specially if you are both from different countries. To give an example, Sara and I annually spent around 1400 dollars in plane tickets. Also...yeah, for a long distance relationship to work, you need to actually meet up irl, but I wouldn't recommend that unless both parties are able to do irl meet ups frequently, or else, it might mess things up. When an IRL meet up occurs, the whole relationship thing switches to something more formal, and both parties are now entitled to decide whether or not they want to invest so many resources in said relationship. You also need family support and understanding from both sides as well, or else, don't even bother. If the girl you are dating has parents that are all "no, we don't want you to date someone from "inserts country"" then you are screwed. I'd say, it would work better if you are both already independent. Finally...compared to "normal" relationships, long distance relationships can have the upper hand sometimes, specially if you are a college student. I prefer spending 3-4 full months with sara, than just 6-8 hours per week, which is what most of my friends at school tend to spend with their gfs due to college load, and they still don't focus their vacations on them. To resume things up, a long distance relationship CAN end up beating a normal relationship when it comes to irl shared time. Also, if you are the male, you will have to suffer Bah, I just woke up and my writing skills are that of a 1st grader Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Monroe Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Been in one since June 2006. It only gets stronger. But it requires a lot of dedication on both parties. Definitely not for "casual" dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redeemer Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Considering all the long relationships here at SFO, sounds like they're pretty possible for the right people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 In my opinion, a long-distance relationship is possible, depending on several circumstances, mostly requiring that you've actually met the person. But anyway, certainly possible, may be difficult but sure, what relationship isn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fira-Astrali Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Well, I'd like to weight in on this one, since there is to rarely a topic that I know anything about XD My opinion about long distance relationships is kind of muddled. Would I perfer it if Asper lived closer to me? Heck yeah! It's hard to get enough snuggles in only a couple weeks that will last me the months until I see him again, and if I was only in it for the physical part, this would have fallen apart ages ago. Long distance only works if you are in the mindset that you are looking for a deep, 100% commitment from another person, and you are willing to give that in return. In my opinion, a long-distance relationship is possible, depending on several circumstances, mostly requiring that you've actually met the person. But anyway, certainly possible, may be difficult but sure, what relationship isn't? I don't think you need to know the person before hand in order to start a long distance relationship with them, but obviously you need to meet them at some point ^^; What would your other cercumstances be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 What would your other cercumstances be? You're asking me this question? Most Interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fira-Astrali Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 You're asking me this question? Most Interesting. ...urm, and why is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asper Sarnoff Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 You're asking me this question? Most Interesting. Not really, given "depending on several circumstances" leaves you open for questioning on what you think these are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Elite Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 (edited) ...urm, and why is that? because people usually ask me that question so they can get an easy cheap insult in. "Depending on several circumstances." What it means is that you will eventually, (if you haven't already) meet the person. A LDR is more of a transitional thing. It's good for establishing communication, and fining out about the other, but you can't establish a full relationship on it. Edited April 23, 2011 by Sara Please remember we have an edit function for your posts :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star Fox Runner Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I'm currently doing a long distance relationship. We've been together for a year and 4 months now, and I actually met her here as a matter of fact! It's working pretty well, but I am well aware that things could fall apart, but the way I see it that's how it is in any relationship. The best thing to do is to follow your judgment to the best of your ability, and if your patient, things may just work out and you'll be together. That's the way that I like to see it with my relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fira-Astrali Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 because people usually ask me that question so they can get an easy cheap insult in. "Depending on several circumstances." What it means is that you will eventually, (if you haven't already) meet the person. A LDR is more of a transitional thing. It's good for establishing communication, and fining out about the other, but you can't establish a full relationship on it. mmm, except several tends to mean more than one. Hmm, i disagree with the not being able to establish a full relationship, but i suppose that depends on what your idea of a full relationship is. I'm currently doing a long distance relationship. We've been together for a year and 4 months now, and I actually met her here as a matter of fact! It's working pretty well, but I am well aware that things could fall apart, but the way I see it that's how it is in any relationship. The best thing to do is to follow your judgment to the best of your ability, and if your patient, things may just work out and you'll be together. That's the way that I like to see it with my relationship. Thats a very good way to put it ^^ That's how I think of it with Asper. Alot of ppl think I'm crazy to be with someone so far away, but it won't be too long before the waiting pays off, and he's not so far away any more ^^ distance is one of the easiest things to defeat in a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sluggsnipa Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 An age old question of the internet: What is your opinion of long distance relationships? As for my thoughts, well, I've lived a long distance relationship for five years. I firmly believe they are doable. In fact, the reason I am no longer in said relationship, distance was on the far bottom on the list of reasons and I am still a good friend of my ex. :3 I'd like to know SF-O's thoughts on this kind of relationship. I would not like a long distance relationship,I can barely handle one In real life,I got dumped,yeah. I DO NOT APPROVE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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