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  1. Greetings, I don't need to explain myself of who I am. I'm making this post just to announce my leave permanently though I believe everyone has already know that or believed they have. I've requested Orange to delete this account so read this while you can. Achieve it even. There is no sentimental comment I'll place; I was not an angel to this community and that is known. I am flawed and regret some of my actions, yet at the same time, I've been vindicated to some and is seen as a terror to this community. I do not blame them, but I still feel justified for some actions here. This isn't an apology or admittance of "defeat" (whatever that means), nor is it a massive "fuck you" to the community here. I've learned some lessons here for better or worse. This is just a post of resignation and frustration that I feel need be venting here. In truth really all I ever wanted from this community was compensation and solace for the pain and mental damage I had received since 2015 and later in 2018 from certain members of the community. They know who they are. None of this would matter anymore, which deeply upsets me coming from someone who wish to seek retribution towards those who had hurt or wronged me then seeking redemption or acceptance soon after. All of it nullified and leaving just a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't want any pity from people; you know who you are and so am I. No comments about improvements no comments about how I am still wrong because it's become numb to me at this point. None of that. Don't look down on me either. Bad enough this community was one of the communities I've been in that legitimately gave me thoughts suicide of which I still have time to time and had worsen my depression that I was going through. Just leave me alone please, I don't want to hear it and it doesn't matter anymore. All I wish now is an understanding of where I am coming from, a simple "Okay Quadroline, we understand" and that's it. With that said, I repeat the title of this thread. Hello, goodnight, and goodbye. Don't follow me or come looking for me. Goodbye, Star Fox-Online. February 29, 2012 - May 15, 2022
  2. The VGM Lover

    Why do I lose control when I lose in a game?

    A few days ago, I went to a gaming event in my college. I was excited to be there. But then, I saw Smash bros. and immediately decided to play because a friend was there. When I did, all the excitement I felt ground to a halt. The only thing I felt was frustration after only one loss, and uncontrollable urges just to win followed. I felt like I was the laughing stock of the battle, even though no one was really laughing at me; they just told me to calm down, or make it seem like I was just a f****** CPU fighter. After losing every single match in our battle, I sat alone near a table for more than hour, just moping away, looking as if I got wasted on beer (even though I don't drink, I was just f****** miserable the whole time.) What should have been the happiest day of my life turned out to be the complete opposite. This isn't the first time I got frustrated over a few losses. This frustration peaked its head throughout my childhood, but it became all too apparent when I began playing online in almost any competitive game, like the aforementioned Smash bros., Call of Duty, Ironfall, even AC: Black Flag had me smashing my head in anger, and all I can do is blame myself for my poor lack of skill (Even though I can get the job done in single player, I can almost never win in competitive matches; my Win Rate for Smash Bros. currently sits at 28%). I think the source of my frustration is the fact that I pity myself every time I lose, and continue to kick myself until I win, and when I never win and I have to give up to avoid destroying something, I do nothing with a miserable look in my face for an extended period of time. I'm asking because this has gone for too long, and it's severely impacting my personal life: What do I do?