Pitch the Worst Idea for a Star Fox Movie That You Can Think Of

[Patch93]

Dude, that is beautiful. Absolute genius. XD

[geoprimedonna]

This is valid too, right?

Then...

And 8 years later...

~the end~

[unoservix]

adam sandler definitely needs to play andrew

[Drasiana]

how dare you say these things to me

[InfinitySquared]

Starfox (Adam Sandler) is a bumbling Jewish Cornerian pilot, until Andross (Morgan Freeman, assembled from clips from Morgan Freeman movies) threatens to take over the galaxy! Can he and his lovable pals Falco (Vince Vaugn), Slippy (Gilbert Gottfried), and Peppy (Will Ferrel), rise to the occasion and save the day? And will he hook up with his lifelong crush Krystal* (Drew Barrymore), or will his longtime rival Wolf O'Donnell (init. Tyler Perry, switching to Jonah Hill halfway through) get in the way? Or will his flatulence get the best of him?

 

Also including: Megan Fox as Katt Monroe*, Eddie Murphy as monkey soldiers, Rob Schneider as Beltino Toad, Snoop Dogg Lion as Fox's penis, Zach Galifianakis as Bill Grey, and Ron Jeremy as General Pepper. Soundtrack by Nickelback and Chris Brown. Sponsored by Pace Salsa, Mercedes Benz, Nike Shox, Magnum Condoms, Stearns & Foster Mattresses, Elmer's Glue, Steinway & Sons Pianos, Apple computers, Hampton Bay Ceiling Fans, Kohl's, Armani, Exxon, Deer Park, Boeing, Sony, Bose, Texas Instruments, Band-Aid, Google, Energizer, Gatorade, Dos Equis, Red Bull, Nintendo, Sunkist, Simon & Schuster, Levi Strauss jeans, Wurlitzer organs, Beats by Dr. Dre, and 900 others.

 

*play no role in story b/c women are for sex and not doing stuff amirite

[Gestalt]

I am led to believe any SF movie not an animation or at least stop-motion will only get an initial reaction of involuntary puke.

[Drasiana]

until Andross (Morgan Freeman)

 

okay now this would own

[unoservix]

andross (morgan freeman) tells you in his wise old man voice that only he has the brains to rule lylat

 

and he says it in his wise old man voice that lets you know he's seen the world and he's seen through all the bullshit and he knows how it really works and maybe you'd really be better off if andross ruled lylat because you know what after his long life with all its experiences maybe he really is the only one with the brains to rule lylat. and it wouldn't even be so bad, really. it'd be a homespun down-to-earth sort of affair. no bells and whistles that don't need to be there, he'd have the whole kit 'n kaboodle all squared away, all nice and neat. really, the biggest downside, if you can even call it that, is that you'd be reading everything in his voice--including this post. you're doing right now, aren't you? yes you are. isn't that something.

 

morgan freeman would be the best/worst andross. he would be the best because morgan freeman; he would be the worst because if you're star fox, are you really gonna argue with morgan fucking freeman? no. no you aren't. if you're corneria, are you really going to exile morgan fucking freeman to venom? no. no you aren't. besides he's gordon freeman's black godfather* or whatever so do you really want gordon fucking freeman coming to crowbar you to death? no. no you don't.

 

anyways i'm fairly sure bandicoot cummerbund or whoever that guy is, the british mascot of tumblr, that guy, i'm pretty sure he has to be in this

 

*incidentally, in the inevitable half-life movie series starring benadryl cumberland and megan fox, can morgan freeman play eli vance? please?

[hoo]

Have the worst movie poster made by yours truly!!!

 

 

I'm guessing that I was the only one who noticed that it says the movie is based on a novel by Nintendo?