starfox87 Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Note: I'm brand new to the forum. This is an alternative follow-up to Star Fox Adventures. It also uses the idea of one of the endings to Star Fox Command. In this, Fox and Krystal have retired, and are expecting their first child. However, a new enemy has risen on a remote desert planet and Fox is pressed back into action when the team goes to investigate and Krystal is kidnapped. Some of the planets, vehicles and characters are mine. Major Fox/Krystal. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1 Fox McCloud reclined on his new sofa. He and Krystal had married and retired from the Star Fox team. They had settled on a distant world called Korvara, a beautiful planet of tropical forests and oceans. Their home was built in Tarana, one of the planet's several large cities and also the capital. He now worked as a security guard for one of Tarana's many museums, while Krystal mainly stayed behind to care for the home. It was a good life for the both of them. Fox reflected how his life was about to get better due to the fact that Krystal was pregnant. In fact, she was due to have the baby any time now. He thought about what fatherhood would be like. However, his thoughts were shattered by Krystal's scream. "FOX! IT'S TIME!" she shouted. "Huh?" Fox said aloud. "IT'S TIME!" Krystal shouted again. Fox leapt up, got Krystal and headed out for their garage. They boarded their groundrunner, a new type of personal ground vehicle given to the couple by Peppy and Falco as a wedding gift. It had four seats, which would come in handy for the new family. Fox drove as best he could. Soon, they reached one of Tarana's hospitals. Fox signed Krystal in and she was taken to her room. Soon, the time for the birth came. Krystal grabbed hold of Fox's hand. Soon, it was over and Krystal and Fox were the proud parents of a new son, whom they named Marcus. He had blue fur like Krystal and looked like a cross between the two of them. However, Krystal took a turn for the worst. The doctors and nurses tried to stabilize her, but to no avail. Her life was slipping away fast. "FOX!" she said. As he went to her side, the annoying beep on the monitor slowed. Krystal's eyes began to close a bit. The beep got slower until it finally stopped. Krystal had died. Fox began to choke up until he burst out into fresh tears. "NO!" Fox screamed as he jolted upright in bed. It had been a terrible nightmare. Sweat drenched Fox's fur. Krystal felt the jolt and woke up to check on her husband. "Fox? Are you all right? It's 3:00 in the morning," she said. Fox was happy to hear his beloved's voice. However, his voice had traces of worry in it. "I had a nightmare about you dying in childbirth," Fox said. Krystal placed her hand on her belly, for she really was pregnant, and the stress of knowing had taken its toll on Fox. "That's not going to happen. The doctors said I'm in perfect health," Krystal said. Fox tried to dry some of the sweat from his body. "Fox, I know things have been tough lately, but we have to keep going," Krystal continued. "Yes, you're right," Fox said. With that, he fell back asleep. For the remainder of the night, Fox slept relatively calmly. The next day at work, his dreams weighed heavily on his mind. His boss, an iguana named Haran, noticed. Haran was a good boss, wise, intelligent and loved by his employees. He saw Fox looking down. "Fox, what's going on?" he asked. Fox explained everything. Haran decided let him have a day-off to recover from last night's terrible nightmare. Krystal was doing some housework when Fox came in. "You're home early," she told him "Yes, the boss let me go home early because of what happened last night," he replied. They spent the rest of the day together. When night came once again, they slept. Little did they know, however, that a new enemy would bring both of them back to their old friends. Their new enemy would be terrifying to behold, a creature of nightmares, one like they had never seen before. For Fox, it would also turn out to be a deeply personal rescue mission For Krystal, it would become a matter of survival. Meanwhile, in space, aboard the Great Fox, Falco and Peppy were having a discussion. "We should call him," Peppy said. "But he's retired," Falco protested. "Still, with this situation, we might need him," Peppy replied. "It's nighttime on Kovara," Falco said. "We'll need him," Peppy said again. "Fine. I'll wait a few hours for the planet's morning," Falco answered. Fox slept in peace that night. However, his peaceful new world would be shattered in the morning, when he would be forced to revert to his old life. Morning came, and after a simple breakfast, Fox and Krystal decided to hang out together. As they were doing so, the holoprojector began to go off. "I'll get this," Fox said. Fox went over and pushed the answer button. Falco Lombardi's hologram appeared. "Nice to see you again, old friend," Falco said. "It's been awhile," Fox answered. "How's Krystal?" Falco asked. "She's fine," Fox replied. "Well, do you want to know why I'm calling?" "Why?" "We need you," Falco said. "But I've retired. I've also got a wife to support," Fox protested. "I know, but for this new mission, we need everyone," Falco responded. Fox looked down, then at Krystal, then back at Falco. "Fine. I'll be there. Just give me some time to tell my boss at the museum that I'll be gone," Fox said as Falco's image disappeared. Krystal looked at her husband, her beautiful eyes gazing at him with a questioning look. "What's going on?" she asked. "Falco wants us back for a mission," Fox answered. Krystal sighed. "Couldn't you have just told him that I'm pregnant?" she asked. "I'm sorry," Fox said, his ears going down in sadness. Krystal got up and walked towards him. "If you've been called, I support you, my love. In fact, I'm going with you," she said. "Krystal, no," Fox said nervously. "I'll be fine," she replied. Fox reluctantly allowed her to go with him. Together, they informed Haran, who was very good about it and allowed them to leave without protesting. When they arrived at home, a transport driven by Falco himself arrived. Falco watched them get in. There was something different about Krystal. Instead of her usual outfit, she was clad in a long white robe. Something was clearly going on. However, it had been almost a year since he had last seen her, so he could be wrong. He put the thoughts aside and transported them to the Great Fox, where Slippy, Peppy and ROB 64 waited. Fox turned to Krystal "Wait right here. I'll see what this is about," Fox said. Fox walked in. "Fox, you're back!" Slippy said in his annoying voice. Fox just looked at him. "I sense something is up with Fox," ROB said. "What is it?" Peppy asked "Something quite exciting actually," Fox responded. "What?" Slippy asked. Fox called Krystal in. "I don't get it. What's happening?'' Slippy said. Krystal pulled back her white robe a bit, revealing her belly. Everyone except Slippy figured it out. "What's happening?" the high-voiced toad asked yet again. "She's about to have a baby you dolt!" Falco answered. "Oh. I thought she was just eating too much," Slippy said. The comment made Fox angry. "You take that back right now!" he screamed. "Ok, ok!" said Slippy. The team got down to the serious business of the mission. General Pepper told them that the mission was to destroy a cruel dictator, a monitor lizard named Kana, on the remote desert world of Goralon. "Well, that seems hard enough," Fox said. "Hmm, you think?" replied Falco. Later on, Fox and Krystal had a talk. He wanted her to stay aboard the Great Fox, but she protested and wanted to go to Goralon's surface. Little did she know that it would turn out to be the worst decision of her life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuffNStuff Posted July 28, 2007 Share Posted July 28, 2007 Ok i see where it is going, but you are moving to fast. Slow it down and try to fit in more detail on whats happening. Don't give away to much, I see you gave a little peek into the future a couple times, try to avoid to much of that. its good so far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Four-eyed Vulpine Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 It's a good introduction, in my opinion, and I wonder why Puff believes that the story is going too fast... I'm not sure if you're still continuing on this, being it's mid-September now and you're working on other stuff, but this is a story I wouldn't mind seeing future chapters to. Slippy thought Krystal was just fat? What a dumb frog. o_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuffNStuff Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 Eh, I am just used to more of a back story.... I am on ff.net too much I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Four-eyed Vulpine Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 So you like more back-story leading up to Chapter One, then. But what about the back-story of the back-story? Or the back-story of the back-story of the back-story? Or how about the back-st--*brick'd* At that rate, we'll be discussing the beginning of the universe. It's probably one of those "writer's discretion" kind of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuffNStuff Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 I swear, I am going to brick u so many times, u are going to have a little cabin by the end of the week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starfox87 Posted September 12, 2007 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 Here's the explanation as to why some of the parts looked rushed: This was my first ever Star Fox fic. Prior to this, I had been writing for the Over The Hedge fandom. My fics tend to be like this whenever I start a new fandom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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