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Sasha Zura: Red Dust


chaos_Leader

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Summary:

 

It is a short time before the Lylat war. The ailing Star Fox mercenary team has been devastated, the Lylat Union is disbanded. The forces of Venom and Corneria square off in a bitter cold war, on the very brink of being set off. Sasha Zura, officer in the Macbeth Military, finds herself caught in a deadly crossroads, both in her military career, and in a question of Love.

 

This is a new story, set roughly in the same headcanon as my "Legacy" story, but knowlege of Legacy is not necessary to enjoy this story at all. It can stand on its own. Major plot points will include action, spy-intrigue, with very strong romantic elements as well.

 

I may post chapters in text-form here, but the formatting for this site leaves me with headaches every time I try to make things look acceptable when I put them here. For now, I hope you'll be okay with me just posting links to the fanfiction site where it is.

 

Sasha Zura: Red Dust.

Chapter 1: Running the Gauntlet

 

As always, you are welcome to leave any thoughts, observations, questions and critiques you may have. I am happy to have you here.

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...You never cease to amaze me!

 

As far as the story goes, not much to say on my end since this is only the beginning (also, a lot of what I have to say in terms of your personal style can be found in my critiques for both Legacy stories), but I'm already getting edgy and excited to read the next entry into the story. As far as your writing and storytelling go, I feel you've actually gotten better - I'm not saying you were bad, but I feel your pacing has gotten better. There's just enough detail to paint a wonderful picture in my head, but not too much to bore. Also, the atmosphere you've generated is amazing.

 

And now I've nothing left but to point out those less-than-significant things that I greatly enjoyed. First is the silly-string touch. Not only did that make me smile a bit, but it also gave a sort of post-apocalyptic feel to the story (not to mention the use of the term "old soldiery trick"). And second; myself being a D&D player, I loved the D&D party set-up you created with Sasha and her squadron. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but I really enjoyed seeing this team in action side-by-side. Can't wait to see more. 

 

Good to have you back n' active on the forums again!

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Good to hear! And here I was dreading that my writing touch might've been dropping off. I can't say how active I'll be here, since I'm kind of busy with other stuff, but I'll still find time to do what I like.

 

Ah the silly string and tripwires; a trick figured out by US soldiers deailing with IEDs and booby traps overseas. A brilliantly simple solution to one of the more nerve-wracking problems of unconventional warfare, and made sense to use it here. Well, a crack spec-ops fireteam like the one there kind of does work like a D&D party in some ways. I wasn't going for the D&D feel specifically, but it makes sense, and I won't shoot down that comparison. XD

 

Oh, and you know that I've gotten up to chapter 5 posted, right? So you can just read straight on ahead. (look for the "Next" button on the upper right corner of the page)
Chapter 2: Shadows of the Past

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