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Someone Stole Sandor's Shoes!


Arminius H O Fiddywinks

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Korben sighed. He was unsure whether to be honest or lie. He was good at doing both, and knew the consequences of both. After a brief pause, he made up his mind.

"Nope," he admitted, shaking his head.

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Amelia looked at Korben just as she brought the car to a stopĀ "You don't? Oh..." Looking ahead, she shifted into drive and pulled down the isle towards the exit. Turning down an isle towards the ramp to a lower level. "Well..." She entertained the idea of inviting her ex-husband to be their barbecue chef. They were friends, as they decided to maintain a friendly relationship for the kids. But it would be a little weird to invite her ex boo-thang to a party with her current situation. She shook her head free of the idea. "...--We'll figure it out. That's why we have YouTube!"

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"Genius!" exclaimed Korben. "Or... We c-c-c-could invite m-m-m-my friend, B-B-B-B-Bohdan. He's a v-v-v-very g-g-good chef. He can b-b-b-barbeque even w-w-w-without a g-g-grill."

Bohdan indeed was a great chef. He enjoyed cooking meat with nothing but his breath of fire, searing them to perfection. He also enjoyed livening up his dishes with exotic Ruthenian spices, spices which could make the mouth scream and shout, and beg for more. And the best part? He always served with a smile.

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"Oh? Barbecue without a grill?" Amelia said, incredulous as she pulled to a stop at the exit and signaled to turn onto the downtown boulevard. "What's he going to do? Breathe fire on it?" Then she realized all to well how that made perfect sense, considering that he actually was a dragon.

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"All right." Turning his head he shouted at the group. "Hey goin on a job, all drinks on me!"

A cheer came up from the other side of the room.

he kinda regretted seeing how much they had already drunk. "ah well." He set down 5 100 credit pieces to pay for whatever they ordered, as well as an extra 100 to be broken. after a moment the waitress brought back his change. "Feels kinda, too thick." he thought silently to himself as heĀ thumbed his way through it. There's his answer. a small piece of paper was alsoĀ in the stack. "Huh." he thought as he stuck everything in his wallet. Ā "All right lead the way."

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Sandor finished his drink in one gulp and paid for itĀ before getting off the tall stool and pretending to stumble down, along with his cane. He picked himself up. "Ah!" he uttered. "Alright, let's go to my car." Sandor limped out, with Solomon following behind, who had caused quite a commotion. "Come on, man! Why the violence?" Sandor asked as he saw Solomon's work.

Ā 

"That's right," Korben responded, looking both ways up and down the busy boulevard.

Ā 

Bohdan made a quick stop at the local MaxMart, a chain of hypermarkets founded, owned, and operated by Maksim "Max"Ā Nesterenko, a Ruthenian immigrant, and his family. Although Cornerians are slow to accept this new chain of stores, the Ruthenian, Magyar, Vlach, and Balt population of Corneria are more than enthusiastic about shopping at stores owned by one of their own. Bohdan parked his Lamborghini in an open space quite a ways away from the entrance to the store, which was strategically located at the edge of Little Kitezh, the Ruthenian neighborhood of Corneria City, and Stavro Heights, a middle class urban community of Cornerians. As Bohdan emerged out from his sports car, carrying Salamon, he was observed by multiple surprised and impressed Ruthenians, who saw such wealth only from Cornerians and the nobility back in the Empire.

"Come, Salamon," said Bohdan to the child, "we will get you all your necessities, and perhaps some of the luxuries!" Salamon cooed. The two of them went towards the store's entrance, with Bohdan taking a shopping cart as he went inside. When the automatic doors opened, they were greeted by the various foodsĀ found only in the majestic Ogniemite Nations: kielbasa, kasha, pierogis, shchi, pelmeni, shashlyk, goulash, palascinta, bejgli, Dobos cake, chiftele, musaca, baclava, cepelinai, duona. Farther towards the right of the store, other consumer products could be found, such as unique clothing, cheap medallions made from tungsten and covered in gold or silver paint, Vlach films (among the best in the four nations), Magyar video games (among the best in the four nations), toiletries, cleaning products, and kitchen items. Towards the left, more Lylat products could be found, such as Lylat-made appliances and furnishings. However, Bohdan went to the right, where he could find Magyar-built baby products, since Salamon himself was Magyar. He placed Salamon in the infant designated seating on the cart.

Salamon was stunned by the sheer amount of things as his head darted between one shelf and the next. All the pretty colors and big words drew him into the world of the consumer. He outstretched his tiny arms to try and get it all. Unfortunately, he was held back by the cold plastic and metal of the cart. Frustrated and saddened, Salamon began to cry.

"What is wrong Salamon?" Bohdan asked. "What do you want?" He edged towards a shelf lined with baby formula, and Salamon grabbed several cans. "I was already planning on getting that, my little friend. Come, let me put them in the cart." Bohdan did as he said, and placed the baby formula in the cart. A few minutes of shopping later, and Bohdan arrived at one of the cashiers. He placed his items on the conveyor belt, where the cashier, a tall and lanky Ruthenian woman with a unique purple scale color, waved the bars over the scanner, the device beeping as each price was displayed. Bohdan had also thrown down some R-Bars onto the conveyor belt, which the cashier scanned.

"88.72 credits," said the purple dragon. Bohdan nodded as he gave his credit card to the cashier. She slid the card through the reader, and was paid in full. She gave the card back, and sawĀ that the items were already placed in bags by a proportionally tiny Balt man, who had glasses and gray fur.

"Have a nice day," said the Balt slowly with a grin. Bohdan picked up on the Balt's mental challenges.

"Thank you," replied Bohdan. "You have a nice day, too." The Balt looked on with that same grin. Bohdan wheeled the cart away with the bags and Salamon, back to his car. Bohdan opened the Lamborghini's doors,Ā and did his best to pack the passenger seat with all of his items, which was not as difficult as one might seem, since the supercar was much larger than regular. Bodan decided to place Salamon in his lap as he drove, seeing no more space for the child to sit at. Bohdan turned on the car, much to Salamon's delight, since he jumped up and down in Bohdan's lap and laughed, clapping his hands. Bohdan sped away from the parking lot and back to his condo in La Catalina, some ways away. He soon arrived andĀ parked his car. BohdanĀ asked aĀ friendly Ruthenian neighbor named Stanimir, who always wore a black bathrobe when he stayed in his condo, to help with the groceries

"Of course, Father Bohdan," replied Stanimir, closing up his bathrobe. Bohdan opened his condo's door, and he and Stanimir placed the grocery bags onto Bohdan's kitchen counter. When the task was completed, Stanimir retired to his room.

"Thank you, Stanimir," said Bohdan. Stanimir nodded as he went to his residence. Bohdan went to his condo, and closed the door behind him. He had placed Salamon on the couch, where he was staring at a familiar sight: his father's tattered gray and white shoes. "Strange..." Bohdan said as he caught sight of the shoes and approached them. He saw a sticky note beside the shoes that said, "Bohdan, do not give these to Sandor!" The note was signed by Iosif "Joe"Ā Ionescu, a long time friend of Bohdan. "Why would you give me these, Iosif?" Bohdan then put two and two together, and realized that Joe had stolen Sandor's shoes. But then why would he leave Sandor's shoes at his condo?

"Daddy," said Salamon, pointing at the shoes.

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The Saurian shook his head, sighed, Ā and walked out behind Sandor. As they came out of the bar, he saw Kimber and Kosovo waiting on them.Ā 

Ach Teliefshin.Ā Solomon swore to himself as he saw Kosovo approach Sandor. Whatever was about to happen wouldn't end well.

"What in the actual hell, Sandor?" Kosovo demanded.Ā 

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"What, the cop?" Sandor asked, gesturing to Sven. "Ah, he's just the Raggedy Man in government issue clothing. He will help us. Now..." Sandor looked to his left and saw a truly unthinkable sight: his Camry was being towed! "What?!" he bellowed, limping with his cane to the towing truck. "Hey, I'm handicapped! I can park there!" he argued.

"Your handicap sticker expired six months ago," replied the driver of the tow truck, who was observing the linkage between the Camry and the truck.

"You lie!" Sandor spat.

"No sir," said the driver. "Here: see for yourself." The driver gave Sandor the sticker, which had indeed expired six months ago.

"Aaaagh!" yelled Sandor, throwing the sticker into the street. He then tripped, landing on his back. He once again yelled out in frustration and anger, squirming on the ground.

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Sven followed Sandor out of the bar only to see his ride being towed. "Sandor, you want to take my car?" he asked as the car was being lifted. He simply tried to ignore his behavior.

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Kimber laughed as the vehicle was towed. Ā The stress and the sheer hilarity of the conundrum they were in had overcome him.Ā 

"This is perfect." He said.Ā 

Looking atĀ Sven, he added. "And nowĀ we have a Cornerian glory boy."

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Amelia twisted the cap off of a bottle of SmartWater and took a couple of swigs as she pulled up to the stop line for a red light. It had just turned red as she was pulling up, so she shifted the Buick Enclave, in Dark Sapphire Blue MetallicĀ into park since they'd be there a few minutes. Putting the cap back on her water, she put it into the door bin and waited as cross traffic entered the intersection.

"--You know," she started after thinking about something long and hard, "I don't necessarily know if I want someone to breathe on my food to cook it."Ā 

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Sandor eventually pulled himself up from his seizure-like state. He looked down the street and caught sight of an idling Buick Enclave waiting at a red light intersection. Sandor decided to seize this opportunity and... "commandeer" the vehicle, for the greater good. He threw down his cane and sprinted towards the Enclave. Once he reached the window, Sandor knocked on the driver's window.

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Amelia turned to the man knocking on her window with a start. Her first instinct was to lock the doors. "--Um, who the hell are you and what are you doing?!

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"Oh God --- Alex?!" exclaimed Korben in stark surprise. His face showed his emotions of shock.

"Oh, hey Korben!" replied Sandor, waving. "How are you?"

"Uhh.... Go away," replied Korben.

"No. My four friends and I need a ride."

"No youĀ don't."

"Yeah, we do." Korben and Sandor glared at each other, forgoing Amelia's presence, for an uncomfortably long time.

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Amelia looked back and forth between Korben and this Alex guy. She finally gave them notice to her existence when she blurted out, "Uh, what the hell is going on? Matter fact, I don't wanna know. YOU--" she looked at this Alex individual, who she could have sworn she'd met somewhere, and said, "--get the hell away from my car before I call the cops."

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Meanwhile, Kimber worked on trying to rally Kosovo and Solomon into following Sandor.

"He is stealing a car." Solomon said.Ā 

"So? I stole your's." The teenager replied.

"You took it out for an hour and brought it back." The dinosaur responded. "That is not the same as taking a stranger's vehicle with no intention of giving it back."

"Come on, Sol." He said. "He's my friend."

He huffed and gave a halfway beaten "Alright."

Kimber grinned and turned to Kosovo. "You in?" He asked.

"I have to be." He said.

"Good." The adolescent Venomian denizen responded. "Let's go." He said as he picked up a small piece of steel off of the ground and aapproached the car Sandor was holding up. Once they arrived there, he begins attempting to unlock the back door with the piece of metal.

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"What--what the hell?!" Amelia shrieked as she turned around to see more goons around her car and some scraping and clunking as if one of them were messing with her precious car. She was getting freaked out now. She couldn't back up, as there were vehicles behind her. She couldn't haul off into the busy intersection and cause a nasty accident. She was stuck. "Who are all of these people?!"

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Spoiler

"Hey

"Hey wait!" he shouted atĀ them asĀ they ran to the car. Sh*t, he cursed under his breath as he ran across tje intersection.

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After a few seconds of messing with the door, Kimber had managed to open it. He stands there for a second, smiling and giving a contented "ha." before coming back to reality.Ā 

Upon seeing the woman, he reaches into his robes, trying to pretend he had a gun.

"Out." He said.

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"Kimber!" yelled Sandor, who approached the foolish raccoon. He smacked him on the side of the head. "Did the Venomian air give you autism or something? Stealing my friend's girlfriend's car makes me look bad." Sandor then saw his towed car idling behind the Buick, and remembered he left his Sz. 17 in the car. He ran to it and opened it with his key. Sandor opened the driver's door and pulled out his gun. He closed the car door and locked his car once again. "Now we're going to have to actually steal this thing! God, you know, you don't regard anyone else's thoughts on things."

"Pot and kettle!" yelled Korben, reminding Sandor that he too usually actedĀ like Kimber did in this situation.

"Nyaa!" blurted Sandor. Korben shook his head as he took out his Van der Sloop from his shoulder holster.

"Sorry, Amelia," he said as he turned to the back to face Kimber with his pistol. He aimed the laser sight at Kimber's head. "Run off."

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"Fuck all of you assholes!" she said as she pressed a button on her rear view mirror. "I'm calling the cops!"

There was a musical jingle, followed by a recorded voice. "Thank you for using OnStar!" it said in a cheerful tone that belied the current situation. "You are being connected to a licensed OnStar advisor. Please note that your call may be recorded or monitored for training and quality assurance."

"Bitch, will you hurry the fuck up?!" Amelia spat.Ā If this was a real situation, she'd have already been murdered by the psychopath.

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Sven saw guns come out, and it went from bad to worse. ""Jesus christ!" Ā His handgun was on his hip, but he needed something bigger, meaner. He had an implant, composed of Nanites.

"all i gotta do is put myĀ hands out like this and...." there was a small flash of light as the weapon materalized in his hands. He was close to the car now, pointing the barrel skyward he pulled the trigger. After the plasma bolt cleared the barrel he shouldered the weapon aiming at the one at the back door. "EVERY ONE DROP THE GUNS!" he flipped the fire select to automatic ""I wont hesitate to shoot!"

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Kimber looked at Korben.

"I can make you eat that gun eighty-five different ways." He said. "Now, if you want to fight, get out of the car and we'll have a showdown. Now, please, do not make this messy."

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"Ohh..." groaned Sandor, moving back towards Kimber. "Don't be soĀ hardcore parkourĀ on my buddy!" Sandor did four pelvic thrusts when he said the words "hardcore parkour". He continued pelvic thrusting at Kimber as his girlfriend, Teresa Sanchez, pulled up in a minivan. She stared at Sandor pelvic thrusting. Sandor looked in Teresa's direction, adjacent to Amelia's Enclave.

"What the f--k are you delinquents doing?" she asked when she lowered the window.

"Baby!" yelled Sandor, going up to Teresa's window. "We need a ride, my Venomian friends and I." Teresa raised her eyebrow. She motioned him to get in. "Alright! Guys, we have a ride!" Sandor hopped into the front passenger seat, gesturing his other friends to get in the vehicle.

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"Thank you for using OnStar, Miss Cimmaron. My name is Sheryl, how may I help--"

"CALL. THE FUCKING. POLICE. on the bitches who are surrounding my car!!" Amelia yelled, not even giving the adviser a chance to finish her statement.

"Okay," Sheryl said nervously, "I will send the emergency servicies right now to your location atĀ the corner of Hobath Avenue and Gennessee Street."

"Hurry!"

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