Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Benjamin *Snipe or Bo* Darwin Lombardi Gender: Male Age: 21 Alignment: Good Origin: Fortuna Race: Black Falcon Height: 1.88 SM Weight: 74.84 SK Build: Strong but not much of a fighter. Eye Color: Yellow Feather: Extreamly dark Gray. Clothes: Black Jacket with short sleves,Yellow shirt,Brown belt,Blue shorts,Black Boots with a blue strap, and a Gray and Blue head piece. Family: Dad(48)(Left Snipe(2)) Mom(45)(Died of child birth)Brother:Knives(27)(The Cool oneStep Mom(36) Step Dad(40)Cousin Falco(29)(Snipe admires him) Carrer: Star Epic BestFriend: Epic McCloud GirlFriend: Star Marie Alexander Ship: A custom Arwing call the SkySpear or T-9100 and Drives the Custom Landmaster GroundDestroyer. Weapons:A Small Knife,Self-Improved Pistol,and a Custom Rifle named the 37-Killer. Strength: Expireanced Flyer,Marksman,And He is Trusted by many but never in command. Weakness: Saddness overcomes him at times,Predictible,Not much of a fighter,Easy to Fool. Training: Snipe gets trained by his leader Epic McCloud in his Strength,Flying,and Ground Shooting by Fighting the others in StarEpic,Dogfighting aganist StarViper(ArchRivals),and Shooting targets. Personality:He can get real mad at some times but he stays more calm to prove himself worthy to be the 2nd in command but he has not yet to achive that.He may lose it at times but stays under control. Story:The Star Epic's team 2nd member.He was abondoned as a child.He grew up with a mean Step Mom and Dad and had to live by himself but left to go to Flight School when he was 13 to have more years to learn to fly better. Snipe left the team briefly to be with his girlfriend Star. He joined to save lifes so people don't end up like he will.He loves Star Alexander.He has learned how to fight but only if there's something wrong or if Star is in trouble.He's really Nice and enjoys his time on Star Epic and likes all of the members.Snipe is the youngest member. He's been Epic's bestfriend since he was 10.He has really good flying skills but doesn't brag. He belives more in peace than anything else.He wants to out do Epic alot but fails. Altough he's a bird he loves to Swim every once in a while.He has a small pet dog named "Charlie".He has a Control pannel on his Right wrist that can transform him into the following, Normal, Fox, Wolf, Tiger, Hedgehog, and a Cat. He's always there for his friends.One day Snipe finds Earth and looks to see if there's life but this happened when the Autobots were helping the humans and he met Bumblebee and DeathFlyer. Theme Song: Somewhere I belong by Linkin Park Car: BumbleBee(Yes a transformer) and DeathFlyer(See my avi) Other Data Strength: 7 Intelligence: 6 Speed: 9 Endurance: 5 Rank: 5 Courage: 8 FireBlast: 7 Skill: 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Sounds like an awesome character, but why does he ned to have the ability to change forms? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 To spice things up a bit. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Okay, cool. I personally think there is going to be an identity crisis, but this is a cool character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Yes he uses it for stealth so his enemy's don't know who he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drasiana Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Okay, um, how is this guy NOT Falco? Seriously, he's just Falco...but black. You've literally just put different names into every description of Falco to have ever existed. The Star Fox team's ace pilot. Falco left the team briefly to be with his girlfriend Katt. He says he's in it for the fame, but rumor has it that he considers the team his family. He's really a kind-hearted and sort of-complicated fellow.Falco is the young hot headed pilot. He's been a close friend of Fox for quite a long time now. He may be a little insulting at times but its meant in good nature. His aggressive flying skills and reckless habits come from his younger days.He could be a better pilot than Fox if he wasn't as risky. Please try to come up with something more unique. Also, how is he related to Falco? Is he his brother? Younger or older? Son? Father? What he is in relation to Falco is very important to how he's characterized. They have to be mirroring and opposing each other in some way. Other notes: "SkySpear" sounds better than "SkySpearer", as "Spearer" is not a word. And wouldn't owning a dog in Lylat be a lot like slavery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 well, at least hes trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drasiana Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 "Trying" by...painting Falco black? There are obviously traits in Falco that he likes and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is no effort being utilized in simply ripping off a pre-existing character. He looks the same, acts the same, and has the same role as Falco. Try changing it up a bit. Again, how he's related to Falco in the first place can help determine who he is as a character, but Falco wasn't even really mentioned in the description, oddly enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Okay, um, how is this guy NOT Falco? Seriously, he's just Falco...but black. You've literally just put different names into every description of Falco to have ever existed. Please try to come up with something more unique. Also, how is he related to Falco? Is he his brother? Younger or older? Son? Father? What he is in relation to Falco is very important to how he's characterized. They have to be mirroring and opposing each other in some way. Other notes: "SkySpear" sounds better than "SkySpearer", as "Spearer" is not a word. And wouldn't owning a dog in Lylat be a lot like slavery? Alright I'll correct it and There is some change in it.Snipe is Falco's little cousin and All of what you said is not correct.Some of it is though and Snipe was based on Falco.He gets his traits from Falco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 I still give him credit for trying. I made a character based off of Colonel Miles Quaritch from James Cameron's Avatar, except it was his son. Not everyone will make the best stuff the first time. thats why we invented "Trial and error". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drasiana Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 What wasn't correct about my post? I just replaced YOUR description with the Star Fox character names, and they are identical to what occurs in the series. The only other thing I really said was that "spearer" isn't a word, which...it isn't. Being "based on" Falco isn't an excuse to make him the exact same character. Him being Falco's cousin is a good start. Does he know Falco? What's their relationship like? Does he admire him, envy him, hate him or want to be better than him? @Reynard: Yes, it's not going to be perfect the first time, but people get into the nasty habit of thinking it IS perfect when they recieve nothing but praise for it. "Trial and error" works only if you're allowed to point out and recognize the error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Snipe has a good relationship with Falco and tries to be like him.And I was saying that you said Falco he's in it for the fame but he's in it for the money is what it says and it doesn't say he left to be with Katt I added the to be with his girlfriend.And Snipe is not the EXACT same character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 well you could say he's like Luigi: He look like Mario, but he's a kid Brother who lived in Mario's shadow all of his life. Except SNipe isnt a wimp like Luigi ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Hm yes but doesn't fight much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drasiana Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Snipe has a good relationship with Falco and tries to be like him.And I was saying that you said Falco he's in it for the fame but he's in it for the money is what it says and it doesn't say he left to be with Katt I added the to be with his girlfriend.And Snipe is not the EXACT same character. I replaced the names with the names of the canonical characters that did the exact same thing. And yes, Falco left to go off with Katt in the manga Farewell, Beloved Falco (which is canon). And yeah, that line about "in it for the money", him leaving, and being "kind-hearted and uncomplicated"? It's directly copy/pasted out of Falco's Assault profile. Instruction book description - The Star Fox team's ace pilot. Falco left the team briefly to work on his own but has since returned to the fold. He says he's in it for the money, but rumor has it that he considers the team his family. He's really a kind-hearted and uncomplicated fellow. Nice plagiarism, bro. Reynard has the right idea with relationship dynamics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 But still I worked hard on Snipe It started out Sniper Z the Stormtrooper turned into Sniper then Snipe Lombardi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Hey snipe, why dont you just have the name, but come up with your own story? There are such things as people with the same last names, but not in same family. For example: there is a kid at my shcool who has the SAME EXACT ANEM AS ME (minus the middle name...this is why iI'd like a differtn name IRL, but what ever), but he was a sophmore and different "race" too. And my mom had a person with the same name as her too XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Yes but I still took loads of my time to Make Snipe what he is and I just don't wanna see that go down the drain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drasiana Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 You're still plagiarizing the Assault hand book. You know. Stealing. That isn't working hard at all. It's an easy and illegal alternative to trying to come up with your own character. Think of all the different options here. Does he have to be a falcon? Does he have to be related to Falco? No. Nor does he have to be an ace pilot, or a member of Star Team #23446465. You have so much opportunity in the world of Lylat but you choose just to slightly rephrase the Assault guidebook and say "oh it's not Falco, it's his COUSIN. He's different because he's black!" Explain to me how he isn't exactly like Falco, get rid of your thief-a-riffic character description, and then we can chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 OR he could be an impersonator who takes the last name for himslef and does stuff...? Moives AND books have done that loads of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Fine I'll change him.There happy?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Well that's not bad man. Although i will critic one part: "Altough he's a bird he loves to Swim every once in a while" Uhm, Duck love to swim, and Cormarants swim all the time, and Penguins dont ahvea choice. But MAbye just a bit more work to refine it, but overall its a good start :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipe Lombradi Posted June 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Yes but I love to swim and Snipe swims like a duck for a reason he doesn't talk about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulvokunvrii Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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