• Welcome to StarFox-Online!

    StarFox-Online is dedicated community of fans of Nintendo's Star Fox series, Nintendo's other properties, and gaming in general.

    The purpose StarFox-Online is to provide a fan-friendly, all-ages, site that contains useful and unique information about the Star Fox series while maintaining a community of fans who discuss the series as well as other topics among each other in a peaceful and friendly manner.

    Please Join Us and become part of our community! Please do take a moment to read-over our rules before posting.

  • Buying the SNES Classic


    InfinitySquared

    Like many of the devoted faithful, I and many others woke up bright and early the morning of the 29th to line up at Toys 'R Us to get a chance at buying a vaunted SNES Classic. My roommates and I piled into my roommate's beleagured old Volvo, and arrived at 8AM sharp, finding a line that was already stretching back to the entrance of the adjoining Baby's R Us. It was a chill fall morning, and I offered multiple times to leave my spot in line to run to the Wawa a block away for some coffee and donuts. Everyone else was good, apparently. In front of us, a fashionably dressed mother attempted to explain to her equally well-dressed children why she was "buying a toy for herself". It vaguely dawned on me as to whether or not those kids would even comprehend the games on the SNES Classic as even being video games as they knew them. If those games were relatively primitive and obtuse to me growing up in the early 2000s, I can only imagine how incomprehensibly primitive they must look to fresh modern audiences. Or perhaps not so primitive, given the massive revival in sidescrollers and 8-bit gaming. Who's to say? Behind us, a rather grizzled scalper in a ratty sports coat and faded Pokémon tee. We'll call him Al, totally not after the villain from Toy Story 2. Al moaned loudly about Target's "bullsh*t" policy of only allowing one console per customer, and droned on about his console collection-2 of every console from the NES onwards in the box, the entire TurboGrafix 16 library, and was currently on the hunt for a "third" Model 1 Sega CD. When I asked how much of those he used, he seemed rather puzzled. "I just emulate them", he said, cocking his head to the side. Quite a character. 

    As the hour went on, more and more people began to show. Rare sightings of the elusive inhabitantis cellarium were made. Young and old queued up in a line that reached almost to the Wawa a block away. It was hard to tell if the young kids were dragging their parents along, or their parents were dragging their kids along. Attire ranged from stained graphic tees to Louis Vuitton, and there was a trio cosplaying as the Mario Bros. and Princess Peach. Finally the manager of the store walked out, congratulated all who showed, and quietly began handing out tickets to purchasers before admitting them into the store. Just as it seemed there was enough to go around, a twenty-something in a black S550 and matching suit hurried into the back of the line, only to be greeted with a glum look on the manager's face. He walked off silently, tail between his legs, and everyone began to sort into the store. I probably wasn't the only one holding their breath, anticipating a storm.

    As someone who hadn't set foot in a Toys 'R Us in a good decade and a half, there was a weird feeling of nostalgia mixed with a feeling of being out of place. Fidget spinners, drones, and My Little Pony merch sat alongside the Rubik's Cubes, RC cars, and Pokémon cards, bringing back some nostalgia and relief that nostalgia is still being made. My reminiscence was short lived, however, as the line moved forward at record speed. My roommate almost snatched the holy object out of the cashier's hands, and it was back to the dorms in a flash. 

    No time was wasted setting the diminutive console up. I really can't emphasize how tiny this thing is-it's exactly the size of an NES cartridge and weighs about as much. My roommate immediately booted up Super Metroid, and marveled at the quality of the graphics and sound. I got about 30 minutes of gameplay in myself, playing through Corneria in Star Fox in order to unlock Star Fox 2. Overall, it's mostly similar to the ROM that has been available over the internet since the late '90s. The dialogue and font are perhaps the biggest changes (similar to the footage shown at CES 1995, before the game was officially canned), and I'm sure someone will weep for the loss of "Expert Mode" on the main menu. Lock-on targetting seems to be missing, making space battles a bit more of a hassle. To this day, it remains my favorite title in the series, and continues to fascinate and entertain every time. 

    The graphics scale nicely to modern HD sets, and a pseudo-CRT filter is provided for those that desire a more retro experience. Definitely better than plugging an original Super Nintendo via composite, but the scanline filter seemed a bit strong compared to the original equipment on an actual CRT. The sound is a perhaps a bit more crisp than the original hardware, but it still has the rich warmth and deep bass that we know and love. Super Mario World is airy and pleasant, Super Metroid envelopes you in dark, skin-crawling synths, and Star Fox carries a lot of punch and images fantastically.  Frame-rates are at least as good as the original games, perhaps a bit smoother with the benefits of modern tech. Overall, it's definitely on par with a good emulator or the Virtual Console platform, and whether or not it's worth buying is entirely up to you. For what it is, you're getting an officially licensed Nintendo product with a good $800 worth of games and no aging equipment to worry about. That's 10x the Classic's MSRP, and roughly 4x what the ballsiest scalpers are demanding online. Sadly, Nintendo's limited it to just one product run of course, so the average consumer looking to relive their childhood or get into retrogaming will probably have to look elsewhere. All in all, nice piece of kit if you can get it. 

    Edited by InfinitySquared



    User Feedback

    Recommended Comments



    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • TheRadFox987
      By TheRadFox987
      Why didn't Battle Mode make it into Star Fox 2 final release?
    • TheRadFox987
      By TheRadFox987
      My idea for a Star Fox game would be a massive multiplayer online game where people could pilot Arwings and either battle or race each other for galactic win. You could have a customization thing like Guitar Hero where you make not only your own ships but your own characters/wingmates. You could make furries and ships and then launch them into battle! In addition, there would be an adventure mode that would be offline. This mode would be similar to Star Fox Zero but it would be its OWN game and NOT a remake of Star Fox 64. This kind of idea IMO would save the series but only if done properly.
       
      Thoughts?
    • TheRadFox987
      By TheRadFox987
       \ (_,
      / (_)\_( )_\ FOX BECOMES ADDICTED TO CHEESE: EPIC NEW VERSION EDITION
      ) /\/ _ (o)( The Shining Achievement of All FoxKind
      \ \_) (o) /
      \/_/
      A desolate planet of pollution and waste. Venom's Voleech City was ugly as rotting paste. As I say all of this, Fox had to make haste. He was scurrying behind buildings and blasting at bots, bursting their circuits as they screamed out 'bleeps' and 'blots'. Made of tech, they were, they had no blood clots. Fox's boots continued to make more trit-trots, as he fox-trotted his way into the Death Weapon Factory. Robot armies followed him inside, could it be that Fox had nowhere to hide?
      "I need to destroy these weapons so that Andross won't use them against Corneria" Fox thought to himself. He isolated each in a gravitational field, then set a timer on each one, eventually they'd come out well done. Sooner or later, they bursted into flames, sending scrap metal everywhere, killing the robot armies who had no names. Then Fox got an incoming message from Falco, not Slippy. Man oh man, is that bird ever lippy.
      "Andross is here, he's bringing death and fear. Get your ass to Corneria, hurry right now! We can't make cheese, they've slaughtered every last cow! We've even got less freedom here than on Venom, I'm just thanking God that my jacket is Denim" said Falco. Fox jumped in his ship as soon as he could, then set off for Corneria, to restore peace and brotherhood. When he arrived on his homeworld he was not very pleased. The cities were in shambles, even Admiral Z's house of cheese. Cheese had been banned under Emperor Andross's new law. No one could have cheese throughout the land, not cubed nor sliced, not even one strand. Children were crying and wailing in pain, where was Fox when they needed him? No cheese is quite lame! The giant block of cheese atop Admiral Z's had melted down, far down to the ground, trapping Cornerians...wait isn't the earth round?
      "Cheese can't possibly be that frickin' sticky. Something's rotten in Wisconsin, and this ain't no job for Slippy" thought Fox. Fox got an incoming message from Wolf, who was flying overhead. He didn't like Fox, he wanted Fox to be dead.
      "Hey Fox it's the Wolfster, your people are worthless eaters. We added adhesive properties to the cheese, so now they're all stuck. You'll never defeat Andross cuz face it Fox, you suck. Cheese is for losers so kiss your planet goodbye. All you animals must bow before Andross and die" said Wolf. Sick of all the distress and war, Fox couldn't take it, no not anymore. Fox dropped his cell phone, and began losing his mind. He couldn't take what was happening, even so, saving planets was his 9 to 5 grind. But when all seemed lost, Peppy flew by, dispatching himself with a parachute to the ground, sniffing out trouble better than a foxhound. He got out a long stick of measuring tape, and began charting, graphing, and plotting the melted cheese landscape. Finally he knew just what the Star Fox team should do.
      "Ah, dang, I'm gettin' carless. Fox, Gimme a spare Lylation Nova Bomb" ordered Peppy. Fox pulled a Nova Bomb out of his pocket and placed it in Peppy's hands.
      "Ah, that be the one. Now watch and learn Fox mah boy" said Peppy. Peppy began strapping on giant mecha-gloves to prevent his hands from getting stuck, then started lifting up the cheese straight off the earth. That took strength, power, and mirth? He rolled up the cheese against the nova bomb, then hastened to a cannon, firing it at Andross's ships one by one. If they wouldn't let Cornerians have cheese then let them have what they took. In the form of planetary defense prepared by a master cook.
      "DO A CHEESE ROLL!" ordered Peppy.
      "Man, where'd you learn to do that?" asked Fox in amazement.
      "I learned it at the Cooper's Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake. It's an event near Gloucester, England, where they roll cheese down hills. Now if you don't mind, it's time to defeat the emperor's evil shills!" said Peppy, rolling up the nova bomb in all of the melted sticky cheese from the demolition of Admiral Z's restaurant. Fox began rolling up a nova bomb in cheese, and freed all the citizens who had been stuck. Then Fox and Peppy loaded up the cannons, taking out each one of Andross's minions. Eventually appeared Andross himself, pissed off as hell, like a wargod-elf. Fox jumped into his Arwing, and prepared to take him down. He wasn't gonna lose his beloved planet to that Planet of the Apes reject CLOWN!
      "You will die, just like your father" declared Andross.
      "Not over my dead body!" said Fox.
      "You do realize the irony and foolishness of your response, do you not, Fox?" thundered Andross.
      "I realize that you're going down!" said Fox.
      "If I'm going down, then I'm taking you with me" said Andross.
      "NEVER!" yelled Fox.
      "It is foolish to come against me. You know that I control the galaxy!" said Andross.
      "The universe is like waaaay bigger than that" replied Fox. "TASTE CHEESE YOU FREAAAAK!" yelled Fox, firing a cheese laced nova bomb into Andross's mouth. Andross's ship exploded and Andross parachuted himself to the ground, along with his robot buddy and number one confidante and fan...Fantron.
      "I have a splitting headache," said Andross. "Why must I always lose?" he wailed, pounding the earth with his fist.
      "Master, perhaps next time you should attack your own planet, Venom. Then get everyone to think Fox was responsible. Maybe then your people would finally support you and your unquenchable thirst for war" said Fantron.
      "Not a bad idea" said Andross in his evil robotic-like Darth Vader-esque voice. But then Fox cornered Andross, plasma blaster in tow. He looked quite proud, he had put on a good show!
      "Correction Emperor. That's a very BAD idea!" said Fox. "You're going to Corneria War Crimes Prison for at least thirteen years, you won't get any cheese, just cheap Norwegian beers!" Andross looked confused.
      Later that day...
      Fox, Falco, Peppy and Slippy, watching cheese burn in a restaurant founded by a hippie!
      "Yay, Fox!" clapped Falco, Peppy, and Slippy, as a giant block of cheese slowly melted under a candle's flames. They all clinged wine glasses together.
      "LONG LIVE TEAM STAR FOX. AND LONG LIVE THE GLORIOUS GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING...CHEESE!" they all yelled. The three men cheered and shared a group hug, then devoured more cheese and dived into an oversized apple cider jug. Outside the room was the beautiful Krystal, aspy. She had seen enough, Fox just wasn't her guy.
      Note: I took the words "THE END" and made them be out of cheese. Then I rolled them up in an awesomely tasty text sandwich.
      / \ (_, THE END
      ) /\/ _ (o)(
      \ \_) (o) /
      \/_/
       
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.