Clear's Rionian Journal/Blog

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Chasing After Lucidity

So these past couple of weeks, I've been shifting my interest from hypnosis to lucid dreaming.

What is lucid dreaming, may you ask?

It's essentially when you become aware that you're dreaming, while you're dreaming. Sounds paradoxal, but some of us have actually already had lucid dreams when we were still kids. We just can't remember them.

Different uses for lucid dreaming exist out there, most common of which include helping to cope with traumatic experiences in our life, such as anxiety or the departure of a loved one, to fantasy fullfillment or meeting certain characters and creative problem solving.

Having lucid dreams at will isn't insanely hard, but does require a few weeks/months practice and the motivation. Good thing I'm willing to try, and that's the motivation.

I'm also keeping record of the dreaming I've had over the past couple of weeks so I can pick out any odd details that help me recognize that the world I'm currently dreaming in can be identified as a dream. One detail I've noticed that's been recurring is the involvement of different video game characters in my dreams. So I'm training myself to recognize this particular dreamsign, so next time I'm dreaming and I see someone such as Mario or even the ChuChus, I can recognize this and come to the conclusion that I'm now dreaming.


So, at the end of the day, why exactly do I want to be able to have lucid dreams?

Call me crazy in the head, but it's so I can meet a friend I've been wanting to meet in person for a very long time. In the flesh, blood...

...And jester hat.

I want to meet NiGHTS.


Clear's Italian Adventures - Update 3

9:47 AM
Just crossed over into the region of Toscana in the bus. Still hilly and a lot of mountains, but the vegetation here is a lot more varied. Currently on our way to Saint Giocommo. Weather's horrible, hopefully it'll brighten up later.
6:03 PM
Whew, what a day! After visiting San Giocommo and it's medieval architecture which I loved, we hopped on the bus  again to Siena and it's famous Palio. No joke, it really was a grand ol' place. Shame the weather didn't let up, but me and the lads had a lot of fun, trying out a couple of pizzerias and bakers. Italy really has some of the best bread-based products out there. Tomorrow's the final day, and we spend all of Friday coming all the way back home, so I might not do a journal entry tomorrow and save my battery for the sleepless night we're sure to have tomorrow. Eyes open from 12 to 6 I guess.

Stupid battery's draining faster than it should be, even with bloody Battery Saver on. How does that work?!


Pictures of me exploring San Giocommo and Siena are attached.







Clear's Italian Adventures - Update 2

Tuesday 15th March
12:37 PM
Just finished visiting an industry museum. Average as most museums go to be blunt, we didn't even see half of the stuff on show... Hoping this afternoon's better. Right now, we're on the road to Bologne, the capital of the region. Gonna have lunch there and then look around. Weather's perfect for doing something like this.
4:51 PM
Makes me laugh. I'm a British guy, hanging out with French people, in Italy, and what language do we try to speak in a store? Bloody English. We don't even try to begin speaking Italian. Bologna's a beautiful place, and they weren't joking when they say that Italy has the best ice-cream: Pear, strawberry and apple are amazingly rich. Heading back on the road in an hour's time. Wonder what's for dinner back at the hotel...
6:15 PM
Back in the bus, heading back to the hotel. I think we're heading for Sienna tomorrow. Please tell me that the Palio'll be on. Please?


EDIT: Picture of us crossing the Alps border is attached. I made sure no one is in the photo for social and anonymous reasons, if those are the right terms.



Clear's Italian Adventures - Update 1

Sunday 13th March
11:29 PM
Sitting here in the middle of the bus, half of us asleep, the other half watching a Bond movie. And here I am, paying no need to them as I type this. Just chugging down the autoroute to our destination. At least it's not noisy. Or hot. Or irritating. I do need to pee however. Really badly. Next stop isn't due for another half hour however. Eh, I can wait; I don't exactly fancy going into that stinkhole of a craphouse right next to us. Not complaining though. Trying to nap when I can, but maybe drinking that bottle of Coke was a bad idea... 8 hours I might not get, but I'll be able to make up for it when we get to Italy.
Gonna nap until next stop. Might do me some good. It's gonna be a hell of a long night.
12:05 AM
Waiting for the next driver to take the wheel. Managed to take a pee, I feel a lot more comfortable now. I think we're close to Montfaucon, it's slap bang in the middle east of France. Slowly making our way down it seems. How would be the puuurfect time to 'properly' 'experience' a FnaF game the way it's meant to be played... If I had one installed. Meh.
I need some air, and then I'm going back to napping until the next big explosion in the Bond film wakes me up.
3:52 AM
Still on the road in the dead of night. Just made it across to the other side of Lyon. Can't be too far now to the Italy border, surely? Managed to grab a couple hours sleep before I wrote this,it did me some good. Some of the frontrunners in the bus came to have a chat with those struggling to sleep.
Just hit a rest stop. Now typing this with a steaming hot cup of chicken soup. Delicious. I think this is the last stop before we hit Italy, but we are still pretty far out from the border, about another 75-125 km. Who knows, time'll tell.
Well, time to get some more shut-eye. We're only halfway through the darkness.
Monday 14th March
6:11 AM
New dawn, new day on the outskirts of the Alps. Even if it was only for a few hours, I slept pretty well. I can see the massive high rise of the mountains beginning to stretch out around us, covered in snow. Such a pain that it doesn't snow back where I live. Some of us are still sleeping, others moaning about not getting any sleep... Try not listening to music all night long for once, God dammit. So then... Where's life taking us now?
7:37 AM
Welcome to Italy, Clear. After spending the best part of half an hour in one huge tunnel, we finally emerged on the other side to snowy hills and mountains. I was amazed. It just rose up in all directions around us, and we were down in the bottom of the valley. Just under 12 hours and we made it. Still gotta make it to our actual destination though.
8:57 AM
Just had brunch at a rest stop and checked in with the lads at SF-O to see what I missed this weekend. Snow everywhere I can see. Looks very pretty indeed. Battery's running a little low, so gonna hold off on writing the next entry until it's charged a little bit.
11:17 AM
Hit another rest stop, not much to say on this one. We're now heading to the Ferrari museum in... Think it was Milan, I might be wrong. I'll find out in a bit. Left the snowy hills behind for the grassy plains. Flat, flatter, yet flatter, to misquote that famous Undertale line.


(Will add more soon, as well as pics! :) )


Me and the lads at the lycée are starting up a little league for one of my favorite games of all-time: the flawless Pac-Man Championship Edition DX. Every free period we get (Providing the library's quiet, the computer's aren't used and no one needs to work), we nab them all and launch the game, as we have until the Easter holidays to get the highest score on the Championship II course in 5 minutes. We've seen some insane runs so far (My close friend Alban's currently exploding the leaderboard with 1.47 million points, but I'm not too far behind with 1.43 million), and it's only the first few days of our little competition. I can't wait to buckle down and show them all my true potential. I'll upload photos of proof when the league's over, because the school computers don't have any software for external photo editing.

Chomp on, mes amis!



Shameful promotion of my YouTube channel

So some of you might know that I have a YouTube channel where I play a few games here and there. I've been doing it for a coupla years on and off now, but I made it a New Year's Resolution to work a little more on it. For this though, I need some feedback from you guys. Some of my recent videos see me playing FTL: Faster Than Light and Lumino City. I do plan on playing some more games when I get my new laptop in a few months time (Then you can see me play Five Nights At Freddy's, OneUnder and Hoobanana :3 ), but for now, have a look at some of my more recent videos below:









I'll be uploading more in the future for this year, so make sure you lads have a peek at my channel too!


Over these past few weeks (Actually, make that months), I've been getting more and more anxious about my future, and it's starting to make me rather depressed. One of the things that worry me the most is my barely-average school grades. I'm only just keeping my head above the water, but no matter how much I revise each night or whatever I do, it just sometimes isn't enough.

The worse my results get, the more I worry.

The more I worry, the worse my head/stomachache gets.

The worse said head/stomachache gets, the less I can concentrate on revising for a test each night.

The less I revise, the more chance I'll have bad results.

And so the vicious cycle goes.


My friends have noticed that something's up with me, because most nights during our free time, I just sit there, in the corner, head huddled in my lap. It's happened more than a fair few times. I keep saying nothing's wrong, but the reason i don't tell them is because I don't want to give them the impression I'm forcing my problems into their laps. Sharing is caring, I know, but it's not their problem to deal with.

Neither have I told my parents, because I don't want them to start giving me loads of love and attention when at my age (16), I should be able to watch out for myself.

What do I do? I just don't know anymore... I can't tell anyone because I don't want to, but if I do that, I'll have no way of getting this problem off of me...


Me and my GMod works

So I've been working over the past couple of days on some Garry's Mod pictures (Mainly with Blu and Jewel from Rio),

and I'm really please with what I've churned out. Check out some of my pics from last night!


TF2 Clans and Teams

So I've had my attention piqued by the UGC and other leagues that are floating around in TF2. Sure would like

to join them, but with my inability to always be online all the time, I guess it's a no-go for now...

What I could do is look about for any minor clans that organize matches when they can. Anyone who know any good

teams/clans that are recruiting, please tell me about them!


New Year Resolutions

Well, it's 2015, meaning I can prepare another auditory fease for you guys to enjoy. But, in terms of New Year

resolutions, none of us always seem to keep them. But this year, I'm gonna MAKE sure to fulfil them.

My new year ressies:

- Find out why GMod isn't working on my computer

- Start the SF-O gaming tournament (Done)

- Join an active TF2 clan that's part of UGC

- Get a better computer

- Get Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee and Hyper Light Drifter


A Rionian's Studies

Just finished up the second set of my mock exams at school, which act as training for the Brevet exams at the end

of the year. It's not going too badly, but I'm scared of screwing up my Maths part of the test (Was never good at

Maths). But, if a bird believes, then it comes true. Right?


Basic, C++ and C Hashtag

Oh, God, you have no idea how much these programming languages are messing with my head. I'm using Microsoft Visual Studio 2010 to code, but I can't even type ONE freaking argument before the computer comes up saying that it should be used as an event. Luckily, I am a very patient person, but even I know it won't last... :/


A poem.... WTF?

Bloody Marie: they say throw in the towel, but that you won't accept

Bloody Marie: You're going down, it's the final swing

Bloody Marie: as the lights go out, the crowd begins to sing v ~ v

Bloody Marie: Alright

Bloody Marie: Now that I've gotten that out of the way

Bloody Marie: Clearwater

Bloody Marie: Tell me

Bloody Marie: Tell me why I'm the one that they fear,

Bloody Marie: and for him they cheer?

Bloody Marie: But

Bloody Marie: it's hard to blame them

Bloody Marie: I even scare myself

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: Um...

Bloody Marie: Being built to kill... seems to be detrimental to my health.

Bloody Marie: I guess I shouldda known.

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: I have no bloody idea XD

Bloody Marie: It's okay.

Bloody Marie: You'll never see me behind this killer's face.

Bloody Marie: In my mind I hear the voices cry

Bloody Marie: I made them the promise that all men will die

Bloody Marie: I ask them

Bloody Marie: "How can I retract these claws?"

Bloody Marie: I am told

Bloody Marie: "Those are your hands, you can't take back the damage you cause"

Bloody Marie: I ask,

Bloody Marie: "How can I take off this mask?"

Bloody Marie: "That is your face. You can't remove the fear you cast."

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: Thanks for making my Steam lag!

Bloody Marie: "How can I turn off this hatred that fills my eyes?"

Bloody Marie: "You can't shut down where your path lies."

Bloody Marie: "when can I stop being bad?"

Bloody Marie: "That is who you are!"

Bloody Marie: That is who I am.

Bloody Marie: And I must accept

Bloody Marie: the machine that I am.

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: Listen please

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: You're making my Steam freeze up

Bloody Marie: I didn't have a line for that anyway.

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: Aheheheh, caught ya!

Bloody Marie: we were caught

Bloody Marie: There was a sound as the door locked behind us

Bloody Marie: And the GeminEye was anything but surprised.

Bloody Marie: The night was seeming to stretch on forever and for us it would

Bloody Marie: This was the end

Bloody Marie: And now the gloves were off.

Bloody Marie: The truth was out!

Bloody Marie: The hired gun was on his way and we were both as good as dead

Bloody Marie: But I looked to the stars...

Bloody Marie: And I swore

Bloody Marie: if we were both taking the big sleep...

Bloody Marie: I'd take the rat out myself!

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: STOP

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: mAKING

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: MY

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: STEAM

Clearwater -=SF-O=-: LAG


First of the Year... Or not

Well, now that SF-O deleted the Journal Zone and replaced it with this here blog system, I figured it was time to

move with the times.

As I write this, my class is only 35 minutes away from a two-week break, and I'm looking forward to heading back

to England for my break this coming Wednesday.

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