Four-eyed Vulpine

Fan fiction discussion.

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Guest Black_Zawisza

Well, it defeats the purpose because the reason I'm here is to find out whether my fanfic is worth anything or not. It would be a huge waste of time if I wrote the fanfic, posted it here, and you told me it sucks. If you all could settle for a more detailed summary, THAT I could do.

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Four-eyed Vulpine

Well, if you did post a chapter, we wouldn't do something like strike it down and call it a failure that shouldn't be continued.  That's immature and wasteful.

What we would do, however, is provide constructive criticism to the author for revision.  All works require revision, it's just a fact of life.

Heck, you could even email me the chapter, and I could proof it for you.

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Guest Black_Zawisza

Mmm. Maybe. I think I'll post it so I can get feedback from everybody.

I'll start right now. It'll be finished in a few days. Don't expect it to be glamorous though; I'm pretty good at writing anything BUT fan-fiction. I won't surprised if your constructive criticism involves telling me to never write fan-fiction again.

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TakeWalker

Telling you never to write again isn't constructive. Constructive criticism involves pointing out highlights and flaws, explaining why they are such, and how to improve if necessary.

So I guess you've completely misunderstood why we're here. Which is okay. Looking forward to seeing what you're capable of now.

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Guest Black_Zawisza

Dude, I was JOKING. I know what constructive criticism is, and I understand why you're here. I'm not a dumb***, you know.

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Gene Inari

Dude, I was JOKING. I know what constructive criticism is, and I understand why you're here. I'm not a dumb***, you know.

Sarcasm is a lost art on the internets.

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TakeWalker

Dude, I was JOKING. I know what constructive criticism is, and I understand why you're here. I'm not a dumb***, you know.

Honestly, not everyone does. Standard response. Also, calm down. :shock:

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Ranger One

Sarcasm is a lost art on the internets.

Lost art? Heck, from what i've seen, 70% of people on the internet can't recognize sarcasm even when it walks up and bites em on the nose or something. (check my avatar pic... that game alone says it all, lol)  :oops:

Posting here for additional reasons, tho - i've been brainstorming again over Broken Lines, and will be posting a new section after this (it's already been typed, just wanted to have more material available to post after it is all) - I've also got some fic notes that give a decent sized ammount of background about the Cerinans and their home system, so that'll be going up in it's own thread sometime soon as well. Please Read & Review. :D

*Edit*

**REQUEST**

PleasepleasepleasePleasePLEASE give me feedback on what i've posted so far on Cerinan culture (It's all in chapter one, right near the end of section 3.) I'd like to know if i'm pushing the line a bit here or not before i continue, because the last thing i want to do is violate the rules/guidelines for posted works here. While it's never going to get descriptive, if anyone thinks it sounds like it'll be a bit "too much" now, LET ME KNOW so i can curtail it now and save a lot of trouble. Thank you!  :cool:

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PuffNStuff

Well, i have lost most of my enthusiasm for regret... Not that I don't like it, it's just it is getting so hard to write more than a paragraph a day! I'm not giving up on it though. I am trying to type it, but it is coming around SO SLOW! i got 3k words so far in chap 9, yet I am  only half way done! Bleh.... >_<

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Syphe D. Mar

Ya know, I always hated the idea of aliens invading Lylat. There's no tragedy in having aliens die, especially if they're a hive mind.  :P I never liked the idea of following legends' perspective. Too much limitations personality-wise and too "fiction". Instead of that, a couple of random dogs, apes, gators, ect. and you have a drama. A drama that does not give any side super powers. No god modded craft that can survive a million blasts. No bombs coming from a portable light-speed satellite cannon. No side undying.

Anyway...

3 Factions

Cornerian (Fleet?)

Venomian (Fleet?)

Macbethan Armed Republican Militia Syndicate (ARMS)

Setting: Takes place during the Lylat War when the Cornerians (or Fox but not credited to not eliminate other in-game paths) recaptured Macbeth.

Plot: Macbeth is a planet where Venomians build stuff. Cornerians recaptured it. The company who did the mining/building separated from Venom and began building new techs and joined with other criminal organizations to form Macbethan ARMS. First, they captured Macbeth. Then, they tried capturing everything else but failed miserably. Before the Lylat War ended, all three factions signed a treaty that declared their neutrality in the war and only Macbeth was theirs. Focuses on character development and the tragedy of war rather than shooting.

(Main) Characters: 1 Cornerian Ace, 2 genetically engineered ARMS Aces (envious, tempered male & calm, sadistic female), Commander of an ARMS flagship.

ARMS overview:

Technology

Rotary seating + 360 view - Allows pilots to see all around them without moving; cockpit is usually placed at the side for MP ships. (e.g. the ship moves around the pilot. When one barrel rolls, one would not be dizzy from spinning like real pilots do.)

Psychic Automated Control Chip - Not related to psychics, it allows anyone to control their designated ship (capital ships can be controlled by its navigator and superior officer)

Advanced Bits - Similar to Venom's automatic sentries, except it is controlled by genetically engineered officers (rare). Majority are launched from a flagship, but two specially modified crafts have been designed to be used along with bits.

Project Psychic - A project used to produce officers able to use bits and improve control chips. Currently, subjects have shortened life span.

Electrical Split Particles (ESP) - Allows instant maneuverability for all ships and weaponry connected by electrical particles; weapons are separate from the ship and has its own engine, giving it more articulation, which can be used with PACCs. Capital ships have PACCs for every weapon and every compartment of the ship can be controlled (requires multiple personnel to be used effectively) NOTE: The flagship (too expensive to let it be destroyed) and MP crafts (few parts to disjoint = $) have disjointed compartments separated by ESP. Other ships (destroyers and the like) only have disjointed weaponry.

Army

Run by crime organizations and mercenaries. Genetically enhanced officers are usually orphans and those loyal to ARMS. Consists of Cornerian and Venomian veterans as well as new soldiers.

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starfox87

I had another idea that I may or may not do depending on how I feel:

Basically, it's set after the "Goodbye Fox" ending of SF Command. Marcus (who, BTW, I've modified from the game version to be good-looking and have no curl on his head) has founded a new SF team, and after flying missions for some months, decide to take a vacation on a planet full of beaches and sea. However, things are now a bit different as Marcus decides to bring his girlfriend, a pretty, southern-accented raccoon named Luby Marquez, along for the ride. Marcus then tends to spend more time with her than with his friends, driving a wedge between them and complicating things when a new mission on Sauria comes up.

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Four-eyed Vulpine

That seems parallel with the scenarios I've seen that involve Krystal joining Star Fox, resulting in a tear between Fox and his original teammates due to his relationship with her.  Nonetheless, I don't think I've seen too many stories based on SF Command endings, so it sounds like an interesting idea.

You're going to take that humongous curl off of Marcus' head?  THANK YOU. :(

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starfox87

Yep, the curl's gone. My version of him has just a little patch of white fluff like Fox. It looks so much better that way.

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Gene Inari

I've always toyed with the idea of a Corneria-Katina conflict of some sort yet never really done anything with it. If I were to do it, I would probably use all original characters while game characters get cameos and the like. Emphasizing on the opinions of soldiers on both sides of the conflict. 

Basically the conflict starts with a fleet of ships from Corneria to Katina, filled with troops, supplies, ect. But then one of the ship inexplicably explodes and takes out most (if not all) of the fleet with it. After a unusually brief investigation done by Corneria. It was officially called a "dramatic engine failure" (I'm still working on exact and correct details) and Katina almost immediately blames Corneria, saying there was a bomb planted to keep Corneria the dominant military power. After tensions rise Katina attacks a Cornerian base on (I haven't decided where, but probably Aquas or Macbeth) and then it escalates to a full on war, with other planets getting dragged into the fight. And it gets kinda self-explanatory after that.

Although what I'm gonna keep hidden is the fact it was sabotage, but not by Corneria, but Venom. To get revenge on the Lylat System for defeating them in the last war. Venom actually has people working in both governments and is convincing both sides that the other is "evil" basically and widening the rift between them.

So far this is just an idea in my head.

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starfox87

Sounds cool...you should do it... :oops:

Also, I decided, after reading foxbird's story, that I'm going to weave song lyrics into a chapter of my story about Marcus McCloud.

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foxbird22

NO COPYING!!!!!!!

Hehe, just kidding.  :oops:

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starfox87

No worries. I'm going to use a totally different song for the chapter. In it, Marcus starts to have major feelings of self-doubt after being told off by his friends for hanging with his girlfriend instead of them.

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PuffNStuff

Wo bist do. A really good song by Rammstien, would be a great one shot!

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Gene Inari

Wo bist do. A really good song by Rammstien, would be a great one shot!

It's always Rammstien, ain't it? :oops:

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starfox87

My song is a song from a movie I like.

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Four-eyed Vulpine

The key to writing those stories is to come up with an excellent parallel in the text to the lyrics.  I don't feel I have the writing depth to pull something like that off, yet.

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starfox87

The song I'll be using is "Through Heaven's Eyes", and the way it'll work is that Marcus will be sitting in his bunk feeling worthless due to his friend's comments, and then he hears this music playing in his mind, and then the voice of Fox begins singing the lyrics.

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PuffNStuff

Truth be told, the entire time I was reading "Reflections of a New Generation" By Kit Kamarak, one song kept playing over and over in my head. Body Breakdown by DragonForce. read the whole fanfic then listen to the song and read the lyrics... You will be like "OMG"

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starfox87

Ok, the first part of the story is up. The fic is called "A New Team".

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PuffNStuff

Another good song to use would be "Ghost Love Score" By Night Wish.

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