Robert Monroe

Starfox Assault MEGA RANT. Rob lays down the law at long last.

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Ori

While still laughing my ass off here and agreeing with pretty much everything you say there's a liiiiittle tidbit about the discount Macross of a Gen. Pepper boss fight that calls to me:

 

General Pepper is a Veritech pilot? Or does Namco not know what the hell a "flagship" is? The answer should be obvious.

 

The answer should be really obvious indeed.

 

On another note I can't stress how much I agree with Corneria City's Megafloat-wannabe design being a load of BS. I mean for chrissakes, it's a floating square in the nothingness, there's not even a discernible docking area. Not only it breaks the little consistency to be had (then Command makes Corneria City a coastal city again what the hell), it also makes absolutely no sense since its size is barely enough to be called a city. Those guys never heard of skybox/dome parallax-scrolling background cities with invisible wall limits to avoid player intrusion have they?

 

And as you mentioned there's sooooo much that they could explore in possible spin-offs and make better use of in world building. LOOK AT GODDAMN DEUS EX, I won't spoil anybody who hasn't played here but let's just say Eliza Cassan becomes an important (if in a strange manner, but strangeness is not news in a game featuring fucking Illuminati) in a portion of Human Revolution. A minor element nobody would've given a shit about turns out to be a hidden Chekov's Gun. And then there's that glasses-wearing Krystal reskin in one of the larger random info holo-panels that seems to be a news reporter or anchor person. A Project ACES approach never hurt anyone by adding emergency civilian news broadcasting mid-mission between the radio chatter and comms for sake of immersion at the very least. And I'm not even talking about the other things that pile up into the "Unused Worldbuilding Content" box.

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Robert Monroe

I -wish- Assault was as pants-on-head-crazy fun as goddamn Ace Combat is. Actually, I read somewhere Assault was developed by the Ace team? So how it came out as bad as it did I'll never know. A Starfox reskin of an Ace Combat game would've suited me just fine.

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Vy'drach

I -wish- Assault was as pants-on-head-crazy fun as goddamn Ace Combat is. Actually, I read somewhere Assault was developed by the Ace team? So how it came out as bad as it did I'll never know. A Starfox reskin of an Ace Combat game would've suited me just fine.

 

 

Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City was done by Slant Six, the folks that did SOCOM Confrontation, and it came out terrible too while Confrontation was fantastic, after a few fixes.

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Robert Monroe

How do so many games made by people who should know what the fuck they were doing turn out so bad?

 

the-world-may-never-know-thumb.jpg

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Ori

I -wish- Assault was as pants-on-head-crazy fun as goddamn Ace Combat is. Actually, I read somewhere Assault was developed by the Ace team? So how it came out as bad as it did I'll never know. A Starfox reskin of an Ace Combat game would've suited me just fine.

 

Sadly as far as I could gather Project ACES -responsible for pretty much everything since Ace Combat 4- didn't touch a single finger onto Assault, so we can only imagine what would have happened from a dramatic side story of a civilian caught in the horrors of war to secret nazi-by-any-other-name extremist parties to a prelude to the beginning of the Lylat Wars that brings up the most gruesome and red-taped events of the war with personality, style and relatable characters.

 

Now you might be talking about Ace Combat 2 devs that got into the game and that's been apparently true; AC2 was rather shallow on story but still fun to play and decidedly HARD (I take it they were shoved off into the combat design which wasn't all that great so we still have that to wonder about). 

AC2 didn't tease you with story bits, or unused lore content, or faux-personalities. It gave you what it promised: Simple, straightforward, pure dogfighting. Plus we have Ace Combat: Cross Rumble+ for 3DS as a spiritual remake with story so who's complaining? e3e

 

As a side note Ace Combat 3: Electrosphere -the series' oddball- was developed by the same Namco team as AC2 apparently though had different direction. People to this date try to bring the original storyline of the non-export version (US/EU versions had story cut because of rushed development and the launch of the PS2 coming soon by then) which apparently was great.

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Robert Monroe

I only played 4 and 5 but I always assumed that was the series trademark with the over the top cheesy melodramatic war story horrors thing.

THAT'S WHAT I HATE ABOUT WAAAAR NO MATTER WHO WINS PEOPLE GET HURT THATS WHY I HATE IT

wisdom of the fucking ages right there

I did know that AC3 had the plot removed from the NA release which blows ass given it had branching fucking story paths so yeah kind of a big deal thing to cut out. Oh well.

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Pharaoh Shadon

How do so many games made by people who should know what the fuck they were doing turn out so bad?

 

the-world-may-never-know-thumb.jpg

 

Uggg, I swear it's done on purpose. You heard of Sonic Chronicles the dark brother hood? That crappy RPG with a crappy story? WELL it was made by Bioware, the creators of Mass effect and Dragon age. HOW they mess something up so badly that they basically mastered I'll never know DX My only guess is that they made that game bad so people will be more inclined to spend their Christmas money on their game.

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Joseph.

I -wish- Assault was as pants-on-head-crazy fun as goddamn Ace Combat is. Actually, I read somewhere Assault was developed by the Ace team? So how it came out as bad as it did I'll never know. A Starfox reskin of an Ace Combat game would've suited me just fine.

 

Assault could have been better but the thing is, it was suppose to be a multiplayer based game called Star Fox Armada. The team showed it on E3 2003 and everyone hated it. Now remember, Assault came out on February 2005 (just a couple of months after 2004) The team began working on Armada during 2003 and later merged the whole multiplayer concept into the story when they started working on Assault.

 

This explains why every On-foot mission feels like an empty sandbox level. Those empty levels were meant for multiplayer mode only. They probably merged multiplayer levels with the story because they only had about a year and a half to work on it. 

(Clearly not enough time to create awesome story mission levels, good dialog, Nice animations, good voice acting, and polished graphics

 

RECAP

-The team wasted 2003 working on Star Fox Armada

-They showed the game on E3 and no one liked it

-The team scrapped the Star Fox Armada concept (after working on it for months)

-Merged multiplayer levels with mission levels to save time

-Only had a year and a half to work on Assault (2004-2005) after scrapping their main idea (that they worked on since 2003)

-In the end we get a rushed game that was ok to say the least...

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Patch93

Wow. So that would explain why the game turned out to be so mediocre.

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Robert Monroe

Does anyone have the E3 2003 Starfox Armada/Assault footage? Hmm...

EDIT: Wait, you mean the terrible pre-rendered CGI video?

This?

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Drasiana

Here's an old article about the gameplay pre-namechange: [x]

 

It doesn't really sound like it was that massively different to what Assault's multiplayer ended up being, except for this:

 

 

There are even various interactive objects, like a rail car, which you can hop into and ride around an arena while blasting apart the competition.

 

That would've been interesting.

 

Anyway yeah "Armada" was the game's title when they were planning on releasing an arcade tie-in. Its name was changed to Assault presumably after the arcade thing fell through. Here's the article confirming I'm not crazy about the arcade thing existing and that I do indeed properly remember its announcement: http://ca.ign.com/articles/2002/05/08/namco-brings-gcn-support

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Joseph.

 Notice how the trailer never mentions a story.

 

I forgot where i read this but this trailer was harshly criticized  during E3. This made the team scrap Armada but the problem was that now they only had a year and half to work on it.

 

They had a deadline so they simple merged the multiplayer aspect of the Armada with Assault.... The Team saved time but...yeah, your review says it all.

 

EDIT: The only screenshots of Armada were split screen sections of Multiplayer (No enemies were seen as well) They later released Assault beta screenshots showing a new HUD and Fox shooting enemies

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Drasiana

EGM said that it was "remarkably unimpressive"; there's no evidence that this alone made them change it. More likely it was the overall failure of Nintendo/Triforce's arcade project, since F-Zero AX was the only one that wound up being released and it didn't do very well. Armada was using an engine developed by Triforce that doesn't seem to be present anymore in Assault, so they pobably had to throw together a new engine and slap the previous assets on it.

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Joseph.

EGM said that it was "remarkably unimpressive"; there's no evidence that this alone made them change it. More likely it was the overall failure of Nintendo/Triforce's arcade project, since F-Zero AX was the only one that wound up being released and it didn't do very well. Armada was using an engine developed by Triforce that doesn't seem to be present anymore in Assault, so they pobably had to throw together a new engine and slap the previous assets on it.

 

You're right about Armada being an Arcade game. I got confused since Assault had about 3 name changes (Star Fox, Star Fox 3?, Star Fox Armada, Assault)

 

 I read somewhere that the E3 trailer was terrible. Other then that i thought, well the same team (Namco) that is working on the next Star Fox Game Cube game had to merge those multiplayer areas with Assault to save time. Usually a development team is given a deadline to finish their product. Namco had been working on that game since 2003 and Assault came out on Feb 2005. 

 

Two years and half is enough time to create a Game Cube title.....but since they scrapped their own idea they only got about a year and a half to develop Assault which resulted in a rushed game. 

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AlGore'sleftshoe

I'm not sure if there's an appropriate wat image for this post so I'll just go with the following:

826359__safe_twilight+sparkle_fluttershy

He may hate the game with a burning passion but that doesn't mean his points aren't valid, and if you read his review there are some things about the game he actually likes such as the Meteo level.

my point is; he has some irrational hate of the game, maybe he doesn't like parts of the game, guess what I DON'T EITHER, I fucking hated Corneria, the only thing likable was that the map was cool, some of the bombing enemies were....a good idea but poorly executed, the map's pretty sweet looking, and I guess Pepper's transforming mech-fighter is pretty badass and I want to see more shit like that in future games, Meteo...I did not like that much either, especially not the beginning, I like the 64 version of Meteo better. Some of the voice acting annoyed me, remember those ghetto monkeys on Sargasso? I wish you could turn them off, Leon's voice just wasn't "I am the Great LEON!!!" material. Leon's one of my favorites. *My favorite characters are Wolf, Panther, Krystal, Peppy, Leon, Wolf, and Miyu* I don't see what's so great about Fichina either, I love the LandMaster section because...LandMaster, and it was a cool boss fight, but I can't get over wing riding. I know it's supposed to be like an arcade shooter but for christ sake I don't like turret shooting, it get's boring REALLY fast, same with Corneria, "Oh no, one of my favorite cafe's got totaled, when this is all done....one first class meal ;)~" keep your dick in your pants Panther. The On foot could have been a lot better, but it wasn't putred, hell it's better than Mercenaries on foot, and that game is probably one of the top five greatest games of alltime IMO. The pacing of some missions is a little bland, and in general for the rail shooters, 64 wins for the most part, but Assault still has BY FAR THE BEST dog fighting in the series, I actually loved the StarWolf fight, between Wolf and Panther's badass charisma and shooting down battleships and team StarWolf themselves AND that orgasmically epic music, it just blows me away. their AI is actually pretty good, but not great. hardly even good but they fly into shit and die all the time in 64 so that's a plus.

Adventures and Command are both on my hit list, yes. I'll also be doing reviews of SF64, SF1 and SF2 as well. Basically I wanna give the whole series a nice in depth look eventually.

SF2....oh go can you kill me first? Adventures wasn't a good thing to happen, but it was a good game. I know SNES has aged, but it's a classic. 64 definitely doesn't pass for a modern game, but it's still a great game nontheless.

My point is; he hates Assault with some sadistic passion, he doesn't give it the rating it deserves. Assault at very least is a 7/10 game, same is 64. Neither of them are good enough to be released today, but guess what? they're REALLY FUN GAMES, is that all that matters in the end? looking at all the bigotry that's hit the gaming industry, apparently I'm too open minded to be a part of it.

I HATE StarFox Command, that game truly is a piece of shit, it doesn't entertain, there is ONE SOUNDTRACK *the ending theme* that doesn't sound like shit being shoved through my ear holes and bursting through my ear drums, and ONE ENDING that actually sets up for a decent sequel. what kind of StarFox name is Marcus? name that little bastard James, after Fox's "deceased?" father. but that ending is still shat. F-ZERO RACING!! what? the image of Fox crying still haunts the back of mine eyes today. but guess what? I'm not going to go into NEAR as much depth on how and why I hate it that much, not like what Rob does.

"Lays down the law" seriously that's as conceded as it gets, I honestly don't think I've ever met someone that has that much ego, seriously chill.

Does anyone have the E3 2003 Starfox Armada/Assault footage? Hmm...

EDIT: Wait, you mean the terrible pre-rendered CGI video?

This?

oh god, this is the one voice of Fox that's worse than super smash bros 4....WHY ARE THEY PUNISHING US LIKE THIS!!?

also this trailer is better than sex, 64 voices, Assault cutscenes, scenes Armageddon, and BattleStar Galactica melded well, that and the freakin Wingless Corneria theme; the most epic fanmix I've ever heard.

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Drasiana
 

 I read somewhere that the E3 trailer was terrible. Other then that i thought, well the same team (Namco) that is working on the next Star Fox Game Cube game had to merge those multiplayer areas with Assault to save time. Usually a development team is given a deadline to finish their product. Namco had been working on that game since 2003 and Assault came out on Feb 2005. 

 

What's throwing you off here is that Armada and Assault were never "merged"; they were always the same game. The issue was they basically had to rebuild Assault from the ground-up after they scrapped the vital arcade tie-in and its engines. Pretty much what happened to Adventures, really: they'd gotten so far into development when the entire focus of the game was drastically changed and they weren't given enough time to make it properly.

 

my point is; he has some irrational hate of the game

 

he has given paragraphs upon paragraphs of incredibly intricate, step-by-step criticism of the game. you have done nothing but screamed incomprehensible walls of garbage at him any time he says literally anything. your hateboner for rob is seriously weird and annoying and the only way i'm thinking you can contribute anything worthwhile to this community is if you pretend he doesn't exist and stop basing your entire existence here on trying to be his weird little nemesis. 

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Xidphel

he doesn't give it the rating it deserves

To quote Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation

 

 

You like numbers? How about four? As in four-k you! Do you really need someone in authority giving you a simple yay or nay before you buy anything? Why don't you roll over so they can stamp on the other side of your face?

 

He's giving it his review of the game as he's playing it. End of story.

If you want to show your irrational hate of HIM as you clearly did the FIRST thing you did here after coming back, you know where the door is!

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AlGore'sleftshoe

 

 

 

What's throwing you off here is that Armada and Assault were never "merged"; they were always the same game. The issue was they basically had to rebuild Assault from the ground-up after they scrapped the vital arcade tie-in and its engines. Pretty much what happened to Adventures, really: they'd gotten so far into development when the entire focus of the game was drastically changed and they weren't given enough time to make it properly.

 

 

 

 

he has given paragraphs upon paragraphs of incredibly intricate, step-by-step criticism of the game. you have done nothing but screamed incomprehensible walls of garbage at him any time he says literally anything. your hateboner for rob is seriously weird and annoying and the only way i'm thinking you can contribute anything worthwhile to this community is if you pretend he doesn't exist and stop basing your entire existence here on trying to be his weird little nemesis. 

 

Read my comment again, I've said that I hated a lot of things in Assault too, do I agree with him in some areas, yes. but I still don't see how he can hate a game that much, he went way over the top with this criticism, it's just a game, not a perfect game, but a great game nontheless, he's trying REALLY hard to make it seem like Sonic 06 bad, with the hateboner thing I thought it was the other way around, everything I've posted so far he's blasted me to bits with HIS angry antics. He HATES me, I DO NOT CARE about him, at all.

Anyways, I've posted a story, and had some sensible gameplay arguments WITH YOU on the gameplay post by DZComposer, if you think you are telling the truth about how I haven't contributed anything worthwhile is because you don't like me, if you want me to leave the group, not that I'm gonna listen to you, just tell me flatout. I always thought when you have a serious problem with someone you have to be brutally honest with them, go ahead and batter me all you want it makes no difference to me.

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Xidphel

He HATES me, I DO NOT CARE about him, at all.

 

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TREATING HIM LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL?! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL BITCHING ABOUT HIS "IRRATIONAL HATE" FOR THE GAME!

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!

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AlGore'sleftshoe

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TREATING HIM LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL?! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL BITCHING ABOUT HIS "IRRATIONAL HATE" FOR THE GAME!

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!

I'm not treating him like the devil, I pointed out he has a very passionate hate for a game that isn't NEARLY what he says it is., second thanks for being honest, even though I already knew you hated me, but I have no problem with that. when I bashed him it was in retaliation after he already bashed me, several times. he's insulted me with names numerous times, he's called me this and that, but you don't see me making whole posts about it. I really don't care nearly that much.

again, I know how much some of you hate me, you guys want me gone so badly, you would LOVE to see me banned, and all I'm trying to do is make my own points, you all do the same with your own points, it's just that I'm new, and just like all torrents, being new is a sin, and it'll bring you nothing but hatred, frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. although I certainly wouldn't feel safe in the same room as some of you, I'd be afraid you'd all jump me and tear me limb from limb.

I've heard things about this community, and I see those things said weren't exactly exaggerations either, but does it mean ANYTHING that I am giving this community numerous chances to change my view on its history? I see there are some good people here, but even they want me gone, I figure I'll give it a few month's time before I come up with my decision, perhaps things might warm up, should some fairy-tail miracle happen, but it doesn't seem like it now. just hear me out just as I hear you out.

I don't know why I'm here to be blatantly honest, I've been battered here numerous times, yet I remain patient, I say one little thing *though I am sometimes a bit harsh* and you all want me dead on the ground, you all get really pissed for some reason. get this: I remain calm and collected, yet I am raging pissed off in real life all the time. hell, I'm writing a very calm reply to your rage, while actually raging pissed off at my piece of shit, $100 laptop, this thing pisses me off at least once a day, it can barely handle a torrent site much less fucking google, but I remain steady.

A while ago, things got REALLY bad on these threads which is why I left in the first place, but that's in the past, things haven't changed much, but I have more patience now than I did then, even though I wasn't ridiculed then like I am now.

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Xidphel

I'd make a comment about how none of what you said made no sense but I'm actually waiting for the end of the review before risking getting the thread locked. I might've helped a bit with that explosion up there and I admit it.

Suffice it to say, your being new has little to nothing to do with it.

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AlGore'sleftshoe

I'd make a comment about how none of what you said made no sense but I'm actually waiting for the end of the review before risking getting the thread locked. I might've helped a bit with that explosion up there and I admit it.

My statement made perfect sense, just hear me out, for the love of all that is right!! Oh and "might've?" I was trying to calm things down, when I first arrived here it was already a heated debate, even if I accidentally posted nothing but a one character typo people would be all over me.

Suffice it to say, your being new has little to nothing to do with it.

*Laughs* yeah-haha, I guess I should take your word for it. your funny.

YES, I AM NOT USING THE MULTIQUOTE/EDIT THING TO POST THIS COMMENT, BE APALLED BY MY DANGEROUS ACTIONS, OH NO I'M REPLYING TO MY OWN COMMENT BASICALLY AAHHHHH THE HUMANITY!!!

Oh and one more thing, if you get the threat lock, don't worry I really won't care. I don't care about this silly review, and I'm sure he wouldn't take my reviews seriously either. contrary to what you have made yourselves believe, I don't care about reviews, AT ALL, I was just throwing in a few things to steam it up a certain way, only to add some justifications to my own arguments on how I'd agree and disagree with his or any of your opinions and hopefully get people to shrug it off as a simple difference in opinions, AND make my point that he HATES the game, and how that probably has something to do with a harsh review. >_>

Before you get all heated about that, just know that I actually really liked StarFox Assault, so assuming I do write a review, my points may be more or less different from his; I certainly won't obsess over it, but the negative things about the game will always be outshined by what made the game great, and I won't hold back at all to reflect on them excessively.

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Xortberg

"You all just hate me because I'm new!"

 

  • Personal Text:Your pathetic opinions are isignificant

 

Uuuh huh. Yep. That's exactly what our problem is. You being new. Yep.

 

Has nothing to do with the fact that you've been outright told by mods not to double post and up above you deliberately did so and acknowledged that fact either.

 

Forums aren't that hard to figure out bro

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Joseph.

 

 

 

What's throwing you off here is that Armada and Assault were never "merged"; they were always the same game. The issue was they basically had to rebuild Assault from the ground-up after they scrapped the vital arcade tie-in and its engines. Pretty much what happened to Adventures, really: they'd gotten so far into development when the entire focus of the game was drastically changed and they weren't given enough time to make it properly

 

They were always the same game? You mean to tell me Namco wasted 3 years on it!?! That is just some lazy development from Namcos side -.-

 

At least with Adventures, the team behind it actually put in effort lol 

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Xidphel

Double

 

 

Post

 

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      "I'll get you a tissue, Pepster" said Fox, reaching for a tissue. Falco just chuckled mischeviously.
      "You were saying, Mr. Peppy?" asked Falco.
      "Do a barrel roll! God it feels good to say that after all these years" said Peppy.
      "Well, there was that time you were locked in a padded cell saying that over and over, believing you were dictating commands to the team" said Falco.
      "Shut up Falco, he overcame his PTSD years ago" said Fox.
      "Hey, cool it, I'm on his side. One hundred and ten percent. But Katt Monroe wanted me to take her to Fortuna this weekend, and I can't take her there without my Arwing" explained Falco.
      "Grr, oh for gosh sake, I'll go get my tools and head for the docking area" said Fox.
      "That's more like it Mr. Fix it!" said Falco.
      "For the love of the galaxy Falco, please do not call me that" replied Fox, rummaging through his tool shed.
      "Where did I put the spare parts for the attenuator, darn it. Oh, there they are. Never mind!" said Fox, continuing to search for parts.
      "Fox, Fortuna's just a half an hour away don't blow this" said Falco. Fox swore under his breath, and muttered angry things in Corneria language.
      "Falco please be reasonable, I'm trying to help you" said Fox.
      "Peppy, I'm gonna need somebody with your decades of experience to come help me sort this stuff out" said Fox.
      "Good, I see the enemy core" said Peppy. Fox's eyes were in shock.
      "What did you say?" asked Fox. Peppy laughed. "Nothin, just pullin' yer leg"
      Meanwhile, Miyu Lynx was hanging upside down like a bat, she was also playing catch with Slippy using a magic 8 ball.
      "Catch the ball you calf-frog!" said Miyu.
      "I am not a calf-frog I'm a full grown bullfrog!" said Slippy.
      "The day I stop calling you a calf-frog is the day Rob64 stops constantly complimenting me on my perfume!" replied Miyu.
      "Then I quit!" said Slippy, sobbing.
      "Aww, don't feel bad. Come back. Oh well, I think I'm gonna take a nice hot bubble bath" said Miyu, who was unusually perky and happy for reasons not yet known. Was she in love with someone?
      Later...in the darkest corners of the universe...
      We join a briefing room within the Grand oblivion Mothership of Emperor Andross, Wolf O' Donnel and Leon. Panther and Pigma were on holiday. Yeah.
      "Welcome. O'Donnel and Leon? Front and center! Now then, gentlemen, I, the great and noble Emperor Andross shall have you both realize that this is a fully committed fraternity that relies soley on the upmost strength, integrity, and dedication of its members. As you are both well aware, the Star Fox team is still causing trouble for our beloved Venom and its neighbors. Soon we will be unable to occupy or colonize any planet in need of our services, and I fear that day drawing ever near. Fox and his notorious group of space bandits survived our deliciously unscrupulousattack on Eladard. Here is a detailed schematic of all your failings. Phantron, powerpoint please" ordered Andross. Phantron was a tiny robot who helped Andross for no rewards or monetary compensation because he did a very poor job of helping the emperor most of the time.
      "Not that picture!" said Andross, kicking Phantron right in the nuts and bolts. He fell over in a scrap heap. Wolf glanced down at Phantron with a look of pity.
      "Does your robot need help, Andross?" asked Wolf.
      "Yes, the uncanny assistance of your repulsive face!" said Andross,
      picking up a discombobulated Phantron and throwing the train wreck of an excuse for an automaton directly
      at Wolf. Wolf fell over.
      "Get it off me, get it off me" yelled Wolf, rolling on the floor. Andross rolled his eyes, and pushed a button activating Phantron's torture device.
      Phantron began inserting excruciatingly sharp electronic needles into Wolf's body.
      "Aaaaaugh. You're horrible, emperor. Horrible!" said Wolf.
      "Haha, yes, I know" said Andross with a proud pompus glare.
      "Get your insipid machine off me" said Wolf. Leon laughed.
      "Don't get your flipping fur all frazzled. I think he likes you. My, this is fun to watch" said Leon.
      "Leon, get the robot off of Wolf" said Andross. Leon was deriving sick pleasure from watching Wolf suffer, as usual.
      "Leon! You obey the me! The emperor! You fight for the emperor, you live for the emperor, you are a soldier for the emperor, remember?" yelled Andross.
      "Yes, Master, sorry. Here Wolf, let me help you" said Leon, pulling the robot off of Wolf's face.
      "There, there!" said Leon wiping Wolf's face clean with a napkin from his delectable Planet Borgalort cold beef sandwich, that he was munching on.
      "Gentlemen, are you finished? Good. I'll handle the presentation from here onwards. As we were saying, the Star Fox team is still not out of commission. They continue to do their dirty work all across the universe, making it increasingly and relentlessly difficult for us to pursue our goals of interplanetary domination and conquest. The galaxy will never know true might, leadership, and power until we eradicate them and those who approve of their reckless ways. Be aware that the Galactic Federation knows full well that I intend to use some of the populace here on Venom as scientific research projects to create super soldiers for my army, on a strictly voluntary basis of course. I did not want to resort to such methods but your repeated failures have led me to wonder about my own convictions and now I see full well that you two are incapable, incompetant, and downright lousy!You will be sent out my air lock chamber soon if you fail your next mission. Go destroy Star Fox. Seek out, kill, and destroy, and don't come back here until every last Cornerian is brought to me" ordered Andross.
      "Your majesty, every single Cornerian? Beamed to your mothership? What for? Are you lonely?" asked Wolf.
      "A good soldier doesn't question," said Andross, rubbing his palms together in a contemplative fashion. "Destroy Star Fox and round up every last Cornerian citizen and bring them all to me. Use the Space Dynamics multi-billion dollar Galactic Sweeper Beaming Device I have installed on your ship to do so. This is an order. You do it if you value Venom, and if you value your life!" said Andross with an evil grin.
      Back with the good guys:
      "It's all fixed up, Falco" said Fox.
      "That's great and all, but Katt Monroe was supposed to be here an hour ago, and I can't find my cell phone to call her with" replied Falco.
      "Well, that's a problem I guess. But, then again, Peppy's a veteran in need of care and I have to get him his spagetti and meatballs" replied Fox.
      "It's ok, Fox. I'll just stick to this baloni sandwich I found in the fridge. It's an old salty dog, just like me" said Peppy, eating.
      "oh no!" said Falco, looking out the window with a look of horror. He saw his phone floating through space.
      "I'll go get that thing!" said Fox, putting on his uniform and racing to his Arwing. He saw a note that read the following:
      "You'll be shot down if you miss a beacon. Gone to watch Miss Laleethia Levanorsi sing Corneria the beautiful at Sargasso. Love, yours truly, SLOB64"
      "Slob64, my old derogatory nickname for Rob64. Ha. Anyway, I gotta get going"
      Later...
      Fox reached out of ship while wearing his protective suit and pulled the cellphone back in. He laughed as he read the texts that got Falco's
      feathers in a frantic fit.
      "Falco, you are such an idiot, such a card" said Fox chuckling. "But I forgive you, you loveable scamp!" he added.
      Back in the mothership, upstairs, we join a very kind-hearted bathing beauty in a serene spa-like room full of plant life and statues and meditation CD's scattered about!
      The beautiful and impeccable space princess, spa owner, pilot, book author, and well-known Cornerian philanthropist Miyu Lynx was
      upstairs in a bubbling and warm hot tub relaxing herself. She had just finished washing her legs with a sponge, watering her plants and had been listening to some really good beepy tech-ish music, if you follow. She took a deep breath, and exhaled, slowly sinking herself into the water.
      "Ahhhh, I love everyone and everything" said Miyu. Her pet bird Pindove squawked.
      "That's my girl. She loves everyone, and everything" said Pindove.
      "Yeah, yes, I sure do" said Miyu in a breathy voice.
      "Wait does that mean you love me too? For realz?" said Pindove, blushing.
      "Sure does, Pindove. I'd never eat you, cuz I'm just too sultry for poultry" said Miyu. She splashed her hands around in the water happily. Then she looked at her palms.
      "I have such incredible hands" said Miyu.
      "Hands. Yes. Incredible, maybe. But I'd say flawless and superior"
      "Ohhh, Pindove, I am the light, you are the darkness, the world is my seed crystal and Katina was so sublime before the emperor seized it" said Miyu.
      "Squawk! So sublime, so sublime" replied the bird.
      "I wish this day would never end. I shant ever be happier" said Miyu. Suddenly, her door broke down, and Falco raced through the room yelling in some ancient alien language. Miyu screamed.
      "Eeeeep!" shrieked Miyu.
      "Where is it?" yelled Falco.
      "Eep! Eeeeep!" Miyu screamed again. Falco raced from one end of the room to the other repeatedly, knocking his head against the wall as he did so,
      tossing plant pots to and fro.
      "Get out of here now, whatever you are, you bad intruder!" said Miyu, throwing a bar of soap at Falco.
      "Fa-Fa-Falckie? Falckie is that you?" asked Miyu. Falco took one look at the cute and sweet Miyu in her bikini.
      "Falckie, are you okay?" asked Miyu. Falco's eyes were widened, and his right eye was twitching repeatedly.
      "Falckie, it's okay Falckie, Falckie? Falckie?" asked Miyu. Miyu splashed water at Falco, causing Falco to go crazy and start looking in all directions
      like a chicken with its head cut off, frantically licking and biting his wings.
      "No need to get your feathers in a fluster, Falckie. Go back to your post okay, Falckie?" said Miyu. Falco's right eye just kept on twitching, and he finally unfroze his body and broke out of his darn near catatonic state and once again became madly energized, running from wall to wall, giving himself head injuries in the process, until finally he landed in the water, doing a cannonball and splashing nearly all of it out of the tub. As his feathers began feeling the bubbling, he squawked repeatedly, flapping his wings, struggling to swim around to get to the surface as more water flew out of the tub. Finally there was no more water, the room was a swimming pool, and Falco was flopping around like a fish while Miyu tried to reassure him that he was not a fish.
      "You can stop now," said Miyu. Falco looked like he was struggling to breathe, Miyu tossed a mint into Falco's mouth and he spit it out in her face.
      Miyu put a towel on and ran out of the room, racing down into the living room with Peppy.
      "He's lost it, Pepperoni. I was in a vane romantic wonderland until that bird went crazy and barged in while I was having the greatest moment of my life!" said Miyu.
      "Wha-what's that?" asked Peppy, who seemed to be in a television induced coma.
      "Oh no, not you too" said Miyu
      "Huh? Oh, Miyu. Help yourself, there's good stuff in the freezer, I'm just worried about Fox is all" said Peppy.
      "Worried about Foxy? Really? What's he up to, Gramps?" asked Miyu.
      "It's nothing. He's on a bit of a wild goose chase though, pumpkin.
      He's out in his Arwing chasing Falco's cell phone through outer space" said Peppy.
      "That...makes...sense" said Miyu in a sarcastic sassy tone.
      "It's all part of the sacred Cornerian duty" explained Peppy. Falco came flopping down the stairs, and landed on the floor face-up, opening and
      closing his beak repeatedly, and begging for water and pain killers. Then Fox came back in his Arwing, landed, came out, and ran into
      the living room.
      "Falco, I got your cell phone! Here ya go!" said Fox. Miyu pointed at the bird on the floor. Falco looked dead as a doornail. Fox could not believe his eyes.
      "Falco, are you okay?" asked Fox.
      "He'll be okay he just needs some good iced tea. Iced tea always helps. Fry him a pancake maybe" suggested Peppy.
      "No, don't fry him a pancake, Pepperoni's just messing with ya, he likes to do that, I should know, he and I are close!" said Miyu.
      "Well, I think he's probably okay. He was like this when we were room-mates back in the academy sometimes before finals" said Fox.
      "Yeah, it's just all this stress, I think" said Miyu.
      "We're gonna have to build a monument to him. He was a good feller!" said Peppy.
      "You mean like that monument we built for Slippy once when we thought he died? Cut it out Peppy!" said Fox.
      "Blur-blur-wing blabbit!" said Falco, speaking jibberish.
      "Wing blabbit? He's talking jibberish, that can't be good!" said Fox.
      Suddenly, a transmission appeared on screen:
      Fox, this is General Pepper. Andross is at it again, he's ordered the Star Wolf team to capture top secret Cornerian military equipment and
      sell it on the black market in order to aquire funds to build a doomsday device capable of beaming up every citizen of our planet into
      his mothership for some sort of purpose of which we know nothing about. You must head for Corneria at once, it is in grave danger.
      I promise your paycheck will be enough to pay the rent.
      "Oh my goodness, that's just what I needed to hear" said Fox. Miyu comforted Fox.
      "It'll be okay. We'll all get through this somehow" said Miyu. She glanced over at Falco.
      "Did he just burp?" asked Miyu.
      "Yes, I think he did," replied Fox. Miyu decided to hug Falco.
      "You poor poor innocent birdie you didn't deserve this! Foxy woxy found your phone, yes he did" said Miyu, kissing Falco's beak. Falco turned red, and began racing through the ship. Then Fox held up his phone, and threw it behind the sofa.
      "Go get it boy! Go get the phone!" said Fox. Falco chased after the phone like a hunting dog, and brought it to Miyu, looking up at her with
      intense approbation, honor, and respect.
      "Falckie, you've never really acted like THIS around me before!" said Miyu, biting her lower lip. She had only seen him behave this way around Katt or Fox.
      "Falco, cut it out. That's your phone, not hers! Snap out of it!" said Fox, snapping his fingers. As soon as Falco heard Fox's fingers snap, he came back to his senses. Then Fox relayed the message from General Pepper, Then Fox relayed the message from General Pepper. They weren't required for another hour or so, so Falco took a bath to relax.
      In Falco's tub:
      Falco was lathering his feathers when suddenly a giant machine arose from the water. It was the Blue Marine in its primitive state. Slippy
      had been testing it out in the hot tub, but this time it was on purpose to help Miyu get revenge on Falco.
      "Oh crud, jeez laweez, what the heck is that?" said Falco. The machine chased him, taking photos of his tail feathers as he ran. As Falco raced downstairs
      in a fit yet again, Miyu and Slippy laughed and high fived each other.
      "Put her there, you big bad bullfrog you!" said Miyu to Slippy.
      THIS STORY HAS TWO CHAPTERS! GO TO CHAPTER 2 NOW! Lol. Or get yourself a cup of coffee first.
      Pepper was seated in his office, chomping roughly on taffy and assorted candies. The walls were lined with
      quotes from many past Cornerian generals. He seemed rather cool and collected, but hiding underneath that
      exterior was a ferrocious commanding warrior hound with an incredible spirit. Pepper and Peppy often tossed back various strategies
      to one another, then relayed them to the rest of the team.
      "Good day, Peppy. I've worked out something that should prove to do well for the team's effort. If you have any questions, just ask" said Pepper.
      "Howdy. Well, alright then" said Peppy, seating himself directly opposite Pepper. Pepper slid over a piece of paper detailing the route he determined that the team should take.
      "What do you think? Does it meet your satisfaction?" asked Pepper.
      "Well, I'll tell ya one thing it meets sir, it meets mah eyeballs" replied Peppy.
      "Still working it out, I see. Have some taffy, good for what ails ya. In fact, one of these taffies before the toils of war saves us from gallons
      of blood on the battlefield, I swear by it to this day" said Pepper. Peppy unwrapped the taffy that the general gave to him and began chewing it while
      looking over the strategy.
      "Sir, I-I-I," Peppy could not finish his sentence.
      "Out with it you blasted bunny rabbit, what is it?" yelled Pepper, slamming the desk.
      "Well sir, it's just that I have an idea for a minor alteration to your plan" said Peppy.
      "What's wrong with it?" asked Pepper. Peppy pulled out a small crayon and began drawing over things, and then showed Pepper the piece of paper.
      "You think the team should go to Fortuna before Macbeth? You're mad!" said Pepper.
      "Listen sir, I know there's a lot of gigantic dinosaurs on Fortuna with helmets and shields and if we could conquer Macbeth first and take back that weapon Andross stole from your artillary base, we'd have a better chance against the dinosaurs. Also, think about it, it's a sneakier way to approach Venom, I happen to have stolen some of Andross's plans, and he's expecting the Star Fox team to take the first route, not the third" explained Peppy. Pepper looked over Peppy's new plan.
      "Bravo, sir. But hogwash. Are you blind, bunny boy? I wasn't planning on taking the team through the first route, in fact my spies
      fed Andross the phony intelligence that we were gonna go that way. Though I commend your sense of strategy, you're overlooking an important detail. We don't have enough fighters to
      deploy to free the rest of the galaxy. Also, if you look over my notes and blueprints you'll see that Fox will enter the black hole after
      setting out from the second route. Bottom line, we don't have enough fighters yet!" said Pepper.
      "Yes we do. I read in the Widow's Nebula that some members of Star Wolf have defected from Andross and are willing to help" said Peppy.
      "That's a bunch of hooey I don't believe it for a second" said Pepper, spitting his taffy in anger.
      "well, I see your point, General" said Peppy.
      "I should hope you do, sir. Content of character is very important to me. I've dealt with enough turncoats and traitors in my day" said Pepper.
      "What if I cloned myself into some kinda fancy souped up super weapon?" asked Peppy.
      "It is the unconquerable soul of a soldier, not the nature of the weapon he uses, that insures victory" replied Pepper.
      "Well I'll be, the unconquerable soul of a soldier, how bout that. Guess that's why we're outnumbered" said Peppy.
      "What did you say? Listen Peppy, my plan will work with some tweaking. The second wormhole in the Asteroid belt leads to a timeline in which
      our military is much more advanced" said Pepper.
      "I see. Well, maybe I'm just getting too old for this. How bout a corn dog and a cold beef sandwich?" asked Peppy.
      Peppy began devouring his corn dog ravenously.
      "Yeehaw, lord bless mah soul, this is the best meal I've ever eaten" said Peppy.
      "It may be your last. Eat heartily" said Pepper.
      "Well, I'm on my way now. Gotta go relay all this stuff to the team" said Peppy, getting into his Arwing.
      "Wait sir, I forgot to warn you of the warphole to Fichina on your way back to the Great Fox...oh well" said Pepper.
      As Peppy left, his only regret was that he failed to share his new chili recipe with the general.
      In a dark room, sitting at a table, the SF team planned their mission. Each member was sipping coffee and soda and enjoying themselves, for a while,
      then they began to wonder what was taking Peppy so long.
      "Where's the Pepster? I kinda miss him a little" said Miyu, pressing her nails against the table.
      "He's probably getting the map from the general. It should outline our course for this mission" replied Fox.
      "I think we should go the third route this time and take Andross by surprise" suggested Falco.
      "The last time we took the third route I had a disasterous experience with Wolf O' Donnel" replied Fox.
      "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Fox. I really need to learn to shut my big beak" said Falco.
      "Yeah, ya do!" said Fox.
      "Ca-ca-ca-can I say something?" asked Slippy.
      "Sure, Slip!" said Fox, flipping a quarter in the air and making it land on his nose. He then began spinning it on his nose.
      "I just wanted to say that I'm glad we're all here and that we should be thankful we have each other" said Slippy.
      "Yay, hugs all around!" said Miyu. Falco groaned, but Fox just chuckled.
      "Anything else, Slippy?" asked Fox.
      "Well, I was just gonna agree that trying to one up Andross by taking the third route might not be the best idea, there
      are black holes and time warps and things on that third route" said Slippy, stuttering. Miyu sipped her soda.
      "Peppy's late, he's usually here by now to chart the course and show us where we're going" said Miyu.
      "You know how Peppy is," said Falco. "He's probably asleep in a luxury hotel on Eladard or something. Peppy is anything but his namesake!"
      "Don't trash Peppy. He's the smartest, most wise and considerate guy I've ever met in my life, second only to you, Falco!" said Fox in a sarcastic tone.
      "Bushy tail, you earned yourself a cold beef sandwich!" said Miyu, tossing Fox a sandwich.
      "Thanks Miyu, this is delicious!" said Fox, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich. Miyu snapped her fingers, and another sandwich fell into the room.
      "There was more where that came from. Who else wants some sandwiches?" asked Miyu.
      "I sa-sa-sa-sorta want one. With some ba-ba-ba-ba-barbecue sauce, that'd be nice" said Slippy.
      "So you want barbecue sauce manufactured by the sheep people of the Baa Baa Galaxy or what?" asked Falco
      Later, after much sandwich eating soda sipping fun...
      "Well, Peppy isn't coming apparently, I tried to communicate to him on the messenger and his screen went to static!" said Slippy. But Falco was playing cards with Robert, and Fox and Miyu were having too much fun feeding one another to pay attention to Slippy.
      "Pour me some more Ginger Basil Grapefruit spitzer, Miyu!" said Fox.
      "Coming right up, your majesty" said Miyu, pouring Fox's drink. Fox guzzled it down, as Miyu deposited a grape in his mouth. Then she poured more
      spitzer into his glass, and into her glass as they toasted.
      "Some cheese with it?" asked Miyu.
      "Cheese would be great, you know in case you didn't know I love cheese" replied Fox.
      "To a long long riveting romance" said Miyu putting on a pretend accent of some sort, as she and Fox toasted again.
      "I gotta hand it to you Miyu, you're great at arranging little get togethers like this!" said Fox. Falco could not stop chuckling, and Slippy was
      about to panic.
      "I don't arrange the get togethers mah lord. They arrange me, but then I get back at em and one up em with my devout sense of preperation and
      servitude to the cause!" said Miyu.
      "Yeah, well, you're the best Miyu. Say Falco, we should all get together like this more often" said Fox.
      But Falco was playing cards:
      "Two aces, Rob!" said Falco. Slippy thwacked Falco with a frying pan.
      "Tell Fox and Miyu to get their ba-ba-ba butts into high gear now!" said Slippy.
      "Oh, okay. Yeah, good point" said Falco.
      "Tell them, now! Peppy's screen is static, his ship might have been shot down for all we know" said Slippy.
      "Okay Slip. Say Fox, have you forgotten something Fox? This is not a get together. It sure as hell wasn't arranged by Miyu! And the fate of the galaxy is at stake here.
      Is there something about cheese and grapefruit spitzer that sends you two off the deep end or something?" asked Falco.
      "The deep has no end, it keeps unraveling itself with one more tangled web, each getting more tangled and intricately woven than the other" replied Miyu.
      "Hahaha, my sentiment exactly," replied Fox, slamming the table with his fist.
      "Oooh, careful Foxy. Careful!" said Miyu.
      "We're doomed!" said Slippy.
      "Not necessarily. I've got a bullhorn for these silly tipsy whipsies!" said Falco. Falco used his bullhorn.
      "YOW! Falco, what are you doing?" yelled Fox.
      "Trying to bring you back into reality. Things are actually pretty grim right now we don't know where Peppy is!" said Falco.
      "Alas, poor Peppy," said Miyu, leaning back and staring into her fancy glass.
      "Remember that one time when he didn't show up till morning?" asked Fox.
      "Yeah, I do actually. But we should probably go meet with the General on his ship and get an update just to be safe" said Falco.
      So the team got their act together and flew their Arwings to meet with General Pepper.
      "Hello team. All the intelligence data and indications are that Peppy has gotten himself stranded on
      Planet Fichina in the middle of a blistering snowstorm! He doesn't even have a coat!" said Pepper.
      "What do you suggest we do sir?" asked Fox.
      "I don't suggest. I give orders.
      I order Miyu and Slippy to head towards Fichina, while Fox and Falco go and take out the Attack Carrier that has invaded Cornerian airspace" said
      General Pepper. Fox gave a military salute to Pepper.
      "Yes sir, Pepper sir" said Fox. He and Falco raced to their Arwings. Miyu and Slippy hesitantly teamed up, and went to their respective ships.
      We join Miyu and Slippy:
      "So, Slippy, this might be our first mission together, huh?" said Miyu.
      "Blurbitt!" replied Slippy. Miyu moved the Crystal Stick into gear and steered the ship into Fichina.
      "Blurbitt, huh? I like that actually" said Miyu. Suddenly, something came over Slippy as they entered Fichina's foggy atmosphere.
      "You missed a gold ring!" yelled Slippy trying to take charge of the Arwing's control pad.
      "No I didn't, Slipster what the heck are you doing?" yelled Miyu. Slippy sent the ship hurtling towards the ground, and Miyu jumped out and grabbed
      Slippy with her in a parachute. They both hit the ground and watched their Arwing blow up into smithereens.
      "Slippy, what was that?" asked Miyu.
      "I think it's just my allergies" replied Slippy.
      "Oh, yeah, terrific, Slipknot. You do realize you just got yourself the pink slip from me" said Miyu.
      "Is that a reward?" asked Slippy.
      "No, it's um, like, the opposite?" said Miyu.
      "You mean I'm still a calf frog in your eyes? Even after the little trick I hel[ped you orchestrate?"
      "Oh, Slippy, I'm a lynx, you're a frog, you know?" said Miyu.
      "Fair point" conceded Slippy. Miyu held Slippy's hand and attempted to comfort him as they trudged forward into the snow towards the red dot
      on their radar.
      Later...
      A giant missile nearly hit Slippy and sent him flying off far far away.
      Miyu entered the base, shown as a little red "dot" on her GPS navigator. She zapped all the guards with her ray gun and freed Peppy who was in a giant
      cage.
      "Pepster Pops, you're alive!" said Miyu, hugging Peppy.
      "Yeah, well hold on a minute pumpkin puss, I gotta check my pulse. Yeah. I'm still alive" replied Peppy.
      "Peppy, we've gotta find a way off of this planet. Did the baddies take your Arwing?" asked Miyu.
      "Remind me what a-what a...Arwing, as you call it, what is that thing anyway?" asked Peppy.
      "Oh, Peppy. You know what an Arwing is. Let's get out of here and get lunch!" suggested Miyu.
      Miyu and Peppy went to the Fichina Diner.
      "Miyu and Peppy, your tables are ready!" said a voice. Miyu and Peppy raced to their tables. Peppy looked over the menu. The waitress came over.
      "Hi, my name is Bloomeelia Glowdentissa, I'll be serving you today, how can I help you?" asked a cat girl in a maids outfit.
      "I'll have mashed potatoes with gravy and some beans" said Peppy.
      "Fichina's finest! And how may I help you?" said Bloomeelia, glancing at Miyu.
      "Grapefruit," said Miyu. "Just...grapefruit!"
      "Good choice! My friend Rallassa almost exclusively orders grapefruit here every time! I'll be right back!" said Bloomeelia.
      "So, Miyu, I've been thinkin, you know I have this chili recipe I'm thinkin' about perfecting once the war is over" explained Peppy.
      "Oooh, that sounds heavenly. Do tell me more" said Miyu, batting her eyelashes and gazing into Peppy's eyes.
      "Yeah. I'm thinkin' it needs some good ol' fashioned old time Cornerian spices" said Peppy.
      "Can't have enough of those," said Miyu, filing her fingernails.
      "Yeah. Some thyme maybe. Meatballs!" yelled Peppy, slamming the table. Bloomeelia came back with the mashed potatoes and grapefruit.
      "Thank you kindly Miss" said Peppy.
      "Yes thank you, rock on!" said Miyu.
      "You too, funky soul sister!" said Bloomeelia.
      "Do you and her know each other?" asked Peppy.
      "I ran into her once back in Academy. She dropped out early on though to become a sorceress" said Miyu. Miyu pressed the grapefruit against her mouth and
      nose and buried her face in it, soaking in the divine goodness of the moment.
      "Anyway, so I've got this chili thing all planned out" said Peppy.
      "Is your rabbit friend okay?" asked Bloomeelia.
      "He gets like this. His memory is fried" replied Miyu.
      "Well, I'm a sorceress and if I know one thing about memory, doing a special thing you haven't done in years usually gets your memories
      jogging like biscuit fueled fiends!" said Bloomeelia.
      "That gives me an idea of how we'll get the Arwing back from that base!" said Miyu.
      Later...
      "Peppy, you know your Arwing is in there, just because it's heavily guarded doesn't mean we can't get in there" said Miyu.
      "So many guards. Course, there are those barrels over there" said Peppy.
      "Exactly," replied Miyu. "We're gonna have to do it"
      "Get who to do what?" asked Peppy.
      "We're gonna do a barrel roll gosh darn it! I've waited my whole life for this chance" said Miyu.
      "I'm too old, Miyu" yelled Peppy.
      "No you're not!" said Miyu.
      "I'm not?" asked Peppy.
      "No, I think you're as prepped, ready, and as peppy as you've ever been" said Miyu, pushing Peppy into a barrel. She got into the barrel with him.
      "This is a tight squeeze. Crammed in here, but not bad. Not bad at all actually" said Peppy. The two began rolling down the hill, and they sent most
      of the guards running home, flattening some, to a degree. The barrel finally smashed into a wall and broke open.
      And there...in the midst of all...was the Arwing of Peppy, inside the base. Miyu and Peppy raced into the base.
      "Well, we did it, we did a barrel roll together" said Peppy, brushing off his pants.
      "Oh, Peppy. What would Vivian Hare think?" asked Miyu.
      "Who?" said Peppy, confused.
      "Ugh, do we need to do another barrel roll?" yelled Miyu.
      "I don't know but it never pays to underestimate Star Fox, that's for sure" said Peppy. Peppy was about to get into his Arwing
      with Miyu and fly off into the
      sunset when suddenly the dome like base's doors automatically shut, and a vortex appeared.
      Wolf and Falco came out of it.
      "Well well, look what the monsoons brought in. You know it's rather fitting that it end like this, as this planet
      is now the headquarters of Emperor Andross's entire base of operations. I'm only telling you this because I'm confident
      we will defeat both of you" said Wolf, putting out a cigarrette. He held a ray gun up to Peppy and Miyu and proceeded
      to tie them up.
      "You'll never get away with this, Bird Man and Wolf" said Peppy.
      "Falcky's joined up with Wolf and Andross? What the heck is going on?" said Miyu.
      "That can't possibly be Falco, his feathers are too ruffled" said Peppy.
      "No, it's really me. Been tempted to do this for ages, Fox always tried to one up me, he
      thought he had the upper hand of the deck, but now I'm the ace of spades. I now know the truth, that
      Pepper's been playing you all for fools and has you all eating out of his paws like termites, he broke the deal
      he had with Andross, not the other way around" said Falco.
      "Oh please, next you're gonna tell me Fox Mcloud's father actually died of cheese addiction" said Peppy.
      "Yeah, I'm sure some guy named Ben Cheese had something to do with it" said Miyu.
      "Please don't hurt us!" said Miyu.
      "Sorry lady, this is just our duty" replied Wolf.
      "Yes, Andross knows what he's doing" said Falco.
      "You see what's happening here? The bird finally started using his brains. You two can make up for your shortcomings if you so desire, I'm
      perfectly willing to get you two on my side as well, though I doubt you'll take me up on the offer" said Wolf.
      "I'd rather be put in a zoo!" said Miyu.
      "I'd rather be forced to deliver candy door to door in a bunny outfit" said Peppy. Falco groaned. Wolf continued speaking.
      "Cornerians are going to soon be upgraded, and those who refuse will be immediately terminated" said Wolf.
      "Upgraded? You mean experimented on and treated like an animal, right? Not gonna happen Wolf" said Peppy. Wolf pulled
      out a remote and activated a trap door with a growing wormhole underneath. He used the remote to lower the pillar Miyu and Peppy were tied to further and further down, hoping they would fall victim to the wormhole wherein Andross would kill them. He began mocking them.
      "Hey, no sweat dear fellows. Trust your instincts, don't ever give up, hahaha" chuckled Wolf. Wolf then got in Peppy's Arwing with Falco and was just
      about to take off, when Miyu began chewing on the ropes with her sharp teeth. She cut Peppy free the same way, and grabbed
      on to him just as he was about to fall into the hole. They began blasting inside the Arwing, causing the entire machine
      to start flashing. Wolf and Falco evacuated the ship and it burst into flames.
      "Congratulations, you destroyed your own ship!" said Wolf.
      "Not so" said Peppy, texting Pepper on his phone. A vortex opened and a fresh new Arwing appeared.
      "What the heck?" asked Wolf.
      "It pays to eat out of Pepper's paws, Wolf. But it doesn't pay to eat out of the hands of Emperor Andross, who's
      about to get his just desserts by the way" said Peppy, getting into his Arwing.
      "Take me with you" said Miyu, gazing into Peppy's face with starstruck eyes.
      "No, I'd feel too bad if something happened to you" replied Peppy.
      "Please, Vivian Hare's dead, and I...love you" said Miyu.
      "Oh, alright, if it means that much to you, I'd rather die with you than anyone else" said Peppy. Peppy
      and Miyu got into the Arwing, and flew into the wormhole to meet up with Andross. Wolf and Falco
      got into a seperate ship and followed in pursuit.
      The Final Battle Begins:
      Sure enough, there was Andross, complete with his diabolical mechanically constructed new face and metal hands.
      "The lynx and the rabbit, I'm not used to this. Very well, I'll destroy you both just the same" said Andross, as he
      began attempting to send enourmas blocks of energy towards Peppy's Arwing. Peppy fired many shots into Andross's hands
      destroying both of them. Finally Andross attempted to suck the arwing into his mouth.
      "Peppy, what do you do in this situation? Remember? You DO A BARREL ROLL!" said Miyu.
      "Understood, my precious lynx!" said Peppy, who made the Arwing do many consecutive barrel rolls succesfully avoiding
      Andross's sinister clutches. Finally Peppy began blasting the flashing red eyes of Andross, and Andross's face-ship split
      into pieces, leaving only a box with a giant brain inside of it. Peppy fired a nova bomb at it and it exploded. Miyu kissed Peppy's cheek and Peppy
      felt very relieved to be back in the game, and also incredibly amazed and amused, as he had defeated Andross for the first
      time with no help from Fox whatsoever.
      "Fox probly still thinks Andross is on Venom" said Miyu jokingly.
      "Yeah" said Peppy. "We rock!"
      "What about Wolf and Falco though?" asked Miyu.
      "Just got a text from Pepper. They've been taken into custody. Falco was exposed to a brainwashing helmet.
      The effects will wear off soon enough" said Peppy.
      Later...
      We join Falco and Katt in their apartment.
      "I can't believe I fell for Andross's garbage" said Falco.
      "It's okay, chickie poo. Your feathers have been ruffled enough. Come lather my fur why don't you?" said Katt.
      "Gee thanks, I think I'll pass for now" said Falco.
      "So, are you gonna take me on that vacation to Fortuna in that delicate ship of yours?" asked Katt.
      "Yes, but don't call it delicate that diminishes its value. Let's go, Katt!" said Falco.
      The Conclusion:
      "Wow, Peppy, I'll never consider you an old timer again" said Fox.
      "Congratulations to you and Miyu!" said Slippy.
      "Next week we're getting married" said Peppy.
      "I think I'm gonna cry" said Slippy.
      "I'm gonna cut the cake now. Know what it says on it?" asked Fox.
      "What?" asked Peppy.
      PEPPY WANTS YOU
      TO DO A BARREL ROLL
    • TheRadFox987
      By TheRadFox987
      Greetings, fellow Cornerians I am here.